Warm up before the game.

[VicHalomsLovechild]

Fred, Ridge Etc) owe it to you to pass on sensible tips so you can enjoy the game in a safe manner.
Firstly lets stretch those vocal cords, " Can you get me a beer luuuuuuv" no reply! try a bit louder  "CAN YOU GET ME A BEEEEEEEEER, THEY'RE IN THE FRIDGE".
Now those back muscles, all important when you need to rise at speed from the couch (goal, quick visit to the loo, retrieve the TV remote from wayward children) OK, from the deep seated or lying position lean slowly forward, eyes on the coffee table, whilst uttering the mantra "what no crisps no nibbles"? and rest.
OK only 15 minutes left so get stretching. Seasoned couch dwellers out there feel free to add your observations and useful pregame tips, enjoy.

[LBNo11]

...checklist:

Beer: London Pride during match, (a cheeky little ESB for the post match celebration).
Room: Free of anything breakable, (MrsNo11 in another room so I don't have to miss anything by explaining "why we don't shoot more, which way are we kicking, will we get 3 points and go above Everton in the league, why is that offside2 etc.,)
Phone: Off hook
TV: On

Ready COYW!!!