I'm back for good (or bad)

[CorkedHat]

It's a sad time to announce my permanent return – losing to Juventus and all that – but I am pleased to report that I am now back home and have computer access once again.
The past three months have been a nightmare and rarely have I felt so ill. I am not out of the woods yet but at least I am feeling a darned sight better than I have for a long while.
AS much as I love Fulham (and after fifty-nine years of doing so I am truly in love) there are two things that are actually more important – your health and your friends.
My friends who looked after me at my lowest ebb were phenomenal and their unconditional love and support is what pulled me through.
Thanks to those of you who sent me their good wishes (I only confided in a couple of you how bad I was but I guess others merely guessed that not all was okay) but beware – the Hat is back!

[Rambling_Syd_Rumpo]

well thats cheered me right up :59: welcome back Mr Hat you've been missed bigtime :dft012: :008:

[VicHalomsLovechild]

Good to see you're back. Suppose it's too early for you to be available for central midfield next Thursday.

[WhiteJC]

its very good to see you back again

[wadey]

Welcome back John...sorry to hear about your illness...best of health to you cobber.. :54: :54: :54:

[leonffc]

Welcome back. Didn't realise you were ill but I hope you make a full recovery soon mate

[LBNo11]

...good to have you back 'on board' Crook Hat, it almost makes up for last nights defeat!

Look after yourself now...

[Lighthouse]

If we were given the choice of a win last night or Corked Hat returns to the fold, we would be in no doubt. A WIN LAST NIGHT.

But as that didn't work out it is great to hear you are feeling better and back with a computer.  :54:

[Abbotsbury White]

Glad to hear your on the up Mr Corked H,and look forward to the updates from upside down land.

[CorkedHat]

Because the doctor advised me against flying, (among the myriad of problems that I had, an infection of the middle ear was another) I had to make the trip from Brisbane to Melbourne by train.
The first leg of the journey is from Brisbane to Sydney whereupon you cross the platform and forty minutes later you board the Sydney to Melbourne leg.
Has anyone else travelled 2,000 kms by train?
For the first 1,000kms I secured a sleeper whereupon I was confined to a punishment cell straight out of Alcatraz.
The bed unfolds from the wall and is harder than a concrete slab. The shower and toilet is a cubicle which would be off limits to anyone the size of Hattie Jacques and for some reason is structured purely of steel – or was it tin?
Obtaining any sleep at all is virtually impossible. One would think that the rhythm of the rails would nurture you into peaceful slumber but alas it is tantamount to trying to sleep to the accompaniment of dustbins being beaten with a large stick.
This is exacerbated by public address announcements being made throughout the night that we are approaching such and such station.
"Ladees and Gennelmen – we are approaching Wyong. All passengers alighting at Wyong please do so from the front of Car D. That is D for Delta. Be sure to take your luggage with you. Good Night and thank you for travelling with Country Link."
You glance at your watch and see that is 2.50 in the morning.
This goes on until the steward bangs on your door at 4.50 am to say that we are approaching Sydney and here is some breakfast.
Breakfast is a piece of bread with a brown stain in the middle of it which purports to be toast. At least the cereal is edible.
On the Sydney to Melbourne train I invest in a lunch. I choose the Teriyaki because Japanese food and I have always been compatible.
Alas, the nearest that this Teriyaki had to being remotely Japanese was because it tasted like a sumo wrestler's jockstrap. Twenty four hours later I was resident in a dunny wondering what the world record was for evacuating one's bowels in one sitting.
If I never see another train, it won't be too soon. Anyone else with nightmare journeys?
Thanks for your kind words by the way.

[Lighthouse]

 :011: It is good to have you back.

As a child I was lucky enough to go on one of the first package tours to Italy.We were to travel down Italy from Switzerland in a week. So two adults and two kids went off. My first flight consisted of other Adults pushing and shoving me to get to the best seats. While at the other end we were met by our 'Luxury Continental Coach'. A right hand drive coach with no air conditioning that had to keep its doors open to allow those lucky enough to live the dream, to stay alive long enough to enjoy it.

At one point the doors failed to stay open and so my Mum sat by them with her foot against them like a worried lady in a lockless loo. Still I saw Basle  Rome and Florence and Naples through a sea of persperation. Happy Days. To think it was almost a premonition of the Fulham European adventure.

[FC Silver Fox]

Its quite made my day to see you back, J.  We've missed you. Keep sampling the tinnies to keep the recovery progressing.
Reading your above posting made me wonder when you had occasion to taste a sumo wrestler's jockstrap (sic) in order to be able to make the comparaison with the Terry Yuki (doesn't he play for the dark side?).
Take care, my friend.

P.S. Since you left, I've had to change my handle from French Connection because it was too long to fit on the new website properly.

[epsomraver]

Good to here from you mate , hope recovery carries on swiftly and to a good conclusion , how about those big words, not bad from a Batsea boy!

[McBridefan1]

I was pleased to see Dempsey had made a full recovery, but alas his return did very little in comparison to the Return Of The Hat... all of a sudden the clouds have lifted the sun is sunny, the birds are barking, the walls are melting... OH OH I THINK SOMEONE PUT SOMETHING IN MY TEA.... Panic over and our Dear Mr Hat has been returned to us in good health, oh happy days.

[finnster01]

Mr CorkedHat,

Wonderful to read your musings again. I badly needed some cheering up. :dft010:

I hope you are back in a decent nick and ready to give the Sheila's of Rup a run for their money.

[finnster01]

Sppeaking of bad travels Mr Hat,
I have had a few. But the first that comes to mind, was a flight from hell. I was in a plane once that caught fire and had to do an emergency landing. The cabin was full of smoke and the captain instructed us the assume the "fetal" position. The strange thing, it was possibly the quietest flight I have ever been on. No panic, nobody said a word, you could hear a pin drop, just an eerie somber silence.

It all ended good (turned out some electric circuit in the kitchen caught fire and the insulation on the wires caused the smoke), but at least got to run down the "slide" to get out, but I have never seen so many fire engines.

The biggest problem however, was the bum's rush that ensued for the airport bar. The flight was from San Fransisco to New York, but went down in Salt Lake City. I promptly managed to apply some elbowing and squeeze myself into a table and ordered a pint and a malt chaser to celebrate life. I was told by the waitress that she was unable to execute my order due to the licensing laws in Utah. I said "what the f...? I just came off a plane in flames" and she said I could order both, but she could only serve me one at a time...I don't think there has ever been spoken language like what came out of my mouth in that state. I think I used every swear word I know, twice. The funny thing was, they were too shocked to even toss me out of the bar...I hope I never ever have to go back to that state.  :014: :014:

What on earth is the point in a stupid law like that? That is on par with another story I just read about where they are just about to finally rescind a law in Tennessee that makes it illegal to have an aquarium in a barber shop...

[WhiteJC]

What on earth is the point in a stupid law like that? That is on par with another story I just read about where they are just about to finally rescind a law in Tennessee that makes it illegal to have an aquarium in a barber shop...

we should put a stop to that! lets try and get FulhamUSA to start a campaign, I mean, bloody dangerous live fish, scissors and hair clippings, look what happend to LB, he only mentioned gold fish to his barber!  :011:

[HatterDon]

Mr. Hat, your returned has cheered me no end and makes me look forward to the weekend with even more vigor.

Stay well and post often -- here and on FB -- my friend.

[Peabody]

Welcome back youngster. Really sorry to read of your poor health but I think I have kept the Olduns Flag flying but it will be a lot easier now with you on here.

[McBridefan1]

Sppeaking of bad travels Mr Hat,

What on earth is the point in a stupid law like that? That is on par with another story I just read about where they are just about to finally rescind a law in Tennessee that makes it illegal to have an aquarium in a barber shop...

Ah Finny you have run smack into our infamous blue laws... laws that have been on the books since this country began... A blue law is a type of law, typically found in the United States, designed to enforce religious standards, particularly the observance of Sunday as a day of worship or rest, and a restriction on Sunday shopping. Most have been repealed, have been declared unconstitutional, or are simply unenforced, although prohibitions on the sale of alcoholic beverages, and occasionally almost all commerce, on Sundays are still enforced in many areas. Blue laws often prohibit an activity only during certain hours and there are usually exceptions to the prohibition of commerce, like grocery and drug stores. In some places blue laws may be enforced due to religious principles, but others are retained as a matter of tradition or out of convenience.

In fact when next in Boston feel free to graze your cows on boston common but only on thursdays...