Picayune Exclusive - New Manager in Converstion

[Lighthouse]

PICAYUNE - So after much speculation Roy will take over as England Manager, John Barnes is the shock choice at Liverpool and now you are Fulhams new manager. But due to contractual reasons we cannot actually name you.

Distorted voice - Um Uh Well no or well maybe not yet. Or yes.

Picayune - Well that comment alone means we are down to only two possibles

Distorted Voice - Um Uh I Um think that um all weel become clear

Picayune - So do you know much about Fulham and the present squad

Distorted Voice - No um ah yes I mean of coarse I er Know of Bobby Zamora and Um ah well the othe other one.

Picayune  - Now we at Fulham are concerned that our Keeper may be sold. Can you confirm you will do your best to keep him.

Distorted voice - Well Um I know um ee will um stay or go and may go and even if ee stay ee may not play.

Picayune  - Oh right. You know Zamora or about him. Will he play if you can keep hold of him?

Distorted Voice - Well I know if ee play but ee wont know and you wont know until five minutes into the forsta  game. Then eel know and I know that you know he'll um know that we know.

Picayune - Bugger you are Fabio Crappello aren't you.

Distorted Voice - I know who I am and you know who I am and I know that you know but I wont tell you until three minutes before the end of the first a game with a who we play.

Picayune  - Bugger you ARE Fabio Crapello