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Favourite Christmas cracker joke

Started by Barrett487, December 15, 2014, 07:56:37 PM

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Barrett487

Did you hear about the hyena who ate the oxo cube?




:drums:



He became a laughing stock  :005:


Holders

Two parrots on a perch, one says to the other  "can you smell fish?".
Non sumus statione ferriviaria

Burt

What do you call a blind fish?

Fsh.

(PM me if you need an explanation  :dft011:)


blingo

Two scabs falling off a cliff and one says to the other " I'm a Gonner ere".

Barrett487

Quote from: blingo on December 15, 2014, 10:00:58 PM
Two scabs falling off a cliff and one says to the other " I'm a Gonner ere".

Where do you buy your crackers from? I hate to think, lol

mrmicawbers

How does Good King Wensles like his pizza.
Deep and crisp and even.


Holders

Good king Wenceslas was pagan and liked his pizza deep pan crisp and heathen.
Non sumus statione ferriviaria

ScalleysDad

Quote from: Burt on December 15, 2014, 09:29:41 PM
What do you call a blind fish?

Fsh.

(PM me if you need an explanation  :dft011:)



Is'nt that
What do you call a fish with no eye. A fsh ................................... as told by my five year old soul mate who was not allowed to pm you but has lodged a protest.

Who added. Where do naughty shapes go? Prism.

The Equalizer

Two nuns sitting in the bath, one says "Where's the soap?", the other replies "Yes, it does doesn't it?"
"We won't look back on this season with regret, but with pride. Because we won what many teams fail to win in a lifetime – an unprecedented degree of respect and support that saw British football fans unite and cheer on Fulham with heart." Mohammed Al Fayed, May 2010

Twitter: @equalizerffc


The Equalizer

Quote from: The Equalizer on December 15, 2014, 11:40:11 PM
Two nuns sitting in the bath, one says "Where's the soap?", the other replies "Yes, it does doesn't it?"

*This may not have actually come from a christmas cracker.
"We won't look back on this season with regret, but with pride. Because we won what many teams fail to win in a lifetime – an unprecedented degree of respect and support that saw British football fans unite and cheer on Fulham with heart." Mohammed Al Fayed, May 2010

Twitter: @equalizerffc

westcliff white

what happened to the man who couldn't tell putty from porridge

His windows fell out
Every day is a Fulham day

Mince n Tatties

Whats Brown, Steams and comes out of Cowes?
The Isle Of Wight Ferry....


mrmicawbers

What has no arms no legs and is found 6 fathoms under the sea?
Jaques Torso.

f321ffc

What song do you sing at a snowman's birthday party?

Freeze a jolly good fellow!

What did Adam say to his wife on the day before Christmas?

It's Christmas, Eve!
:merry christmas: 049:gif
Growing old is mandatory
Growing up is optional

bournemouth george

Why do Elephants have big ears ?

Noddy wont pay the ransom !


dannyboi-ffc

Why are pirates called pirates??? Cos they arrrrrrrrre

This kind of topic is about my level, it needs little intelligence and normally the miserable farts who don't like me will avoid this topic and let me be free! :)

Where's Roger and Peabody when you need them? I bet they've got some goodens
Give us a follow @dannyboi_ffc   @fulham_focus

Email- [email protected]
Email- [email protected]

Supporting Fulham isn't about winning, it's about belonging

blingo

Quote from: The Equalizer on December 15, 2014, 11:41:08 PM
Quote from: The Equalizer on December 15, 2014, 11:40:11 PM
Two nuns sitting in the bath, one says "Where's the soap?", the other replies "Yes, it does doesn't it?"

*This may not have actually come from a christmas cracker.

You must buy your crackers from the same shop as me Mr Eq. lol.

Hersham Henry

What is the difference between a Bison and a Buffalo?

You can't wash your hands in a Buffalo



Fulham Tup North

An ugly bird at work said "Do you want to kiss me under the Mistletoe"?  I said, sweetheart, I wouldn't want to kiss you under anaesthetic!

** Sorry to offend any ugly birds out there!! :)
"Whether you think you can or you think you can't,....you're right"

St Eve

Why is an aspirin small, white and smooth? Because if it was big, gray and wrinkly it would be an elephant