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Favourite Christmas cracker joke

Started by Barrett487, December 15, 2014, 07:56:37 PM

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Barrett487

Why can't snowmen have kids?

Snow-balls

Andy S

I can see this thread getting a boost on Christmas day. T hope the cracker makers have some new jokes this year

Andy S

Doctor Doctor I have a dietry problem I keep eating snooker balls and they are blocking me up. The doctor asks can you explain so the man says that for Breakfast he eats some red balls for lunch he eats a black a pink a blue and a yellow ball and for tea he eats a yellow and brown along with a few more reds. The doctor says that he could see the problem as the man needs to eat more greens. Sorry not strictly a cracker joke


Fulham Tup North

Quote from: Andy S on December 20, 2014, 11:42:58 PM
Doctor Doctor I have a dietry problem I keep eating snooker balls and they are blocking me up. The doctor asks can you explain so the man says that for Breakfast he eats some red balls for lunch he eats a black a pink a blue and a yellow ball and for tea he eats a yellow and brown along with a few more reds. The doctor says that he could see the problem as the man needs to eat more greens. Sorry not strictly a cracker joke
Give me a break!!  Ha :)
"Whether you think you can or you think you can't,....you're right"

Fulham Tup North

 :merry christmas:  Two Snowmen in a field and one says to the other "Can you smell carrots"?  064.gif  :drums:
"Whether you think you can or you think you can't,....you're right"

Artful Dodger

Why does Santa have 3 gardens?

So he can Ho Ho Ho!!!!

:merry christmas:
Faber est suae quisque fortunae


Artful Dodger

Quote from: Delboy on December 19, 2014, 08:51:31 AM
Bill and Ben sitting in the bath and Bill went flobberlob a lobber lob, Ben said 'if you keep farting I'm getting out'
Bill and Ben sitting in the bath and Bill went flobberlob a lobber lob, Ben said 'if you love me, you would swallow it"  (apologies if that is slightly in bad taste.....not sure that one has actually ever made it in to a Christmas cracker!)
Faber est suae quisque fortunae

f321ffc

Q: Why can't a steam locomotive sit down?
A: Because it has a tender behind

Growing old is mandatory
Growing up is optional

Nick Bateman

Englishman, Irishman and a Frenchamn got together talking about their familes.  Englishman said, "I named my son George after St.George's Day".  Frenchman said, "I named my son Valentine after Valentine's Day." 
Irishman said, "I did the same thing with my son Pancake!"
Nick Bateman "knows his footie"


Barrett487

How does a monkey make his toast?

He puts it under a gorilla

Barrett487

What is black and white and noisy?
A zebra with a drum kit.

Fulhamkev

What's pink and hard? A pig with a flick-knife   :dft011:


Barrett487

What's black and white and goes up and down?


A nun in a lift   :005: