NFR joke

[dannyboi-ffc]

A lady went into labour but due to complications the baby was born without a body. Essentially it was just a head, the mum was confused but like all good parents she got on with it and brought up her baby the best she could.

Years past by until the head was old enough to stay at home alone whilst the mum went to work to provide for him, she would sit him on the window sill to watch the kids across the road playing in the park until she got home. One day when she arrived home her son was distraught, blubbering away because he just wanted to be normal like all the other kids and play. "When you go to bed tonight pray for a body, maybe your prayers will be answered" his mum said as she comforted him.  

So that night he went to bed and prayed. The next morning he woke up and what do ya know, he had a body.  Arms legs the lot. His mum ran out to buy some clothes for him before work and when it was time for her to leave for work, she said "why don't you go to the park and play with the other kids today?" The boy couldn't wait!

As they were making their way to the park his mum spotted her bus in the distance, knowing she couldn't afford to miss it she dropped the boy at the traffic lights leaving him to cross the road to the park alone. (Terrible parenting).

So unaware of the high way code the lad just ran out and was sadly knocked down and killed by a car.

What's the moral of the story?

Quit while you're ahead!



Sorry I couldn't resist telling that one, I've known this joke since I was about 10.

[Peabody]

Not bad Danny. I had heard it before

[sunburywhite]

I saw the kid swimming

His name was Bob

[YankeeJim]

A farmer went to a local bar and ordered a glass of champagne.   
The woman sitting next to him said, 'How about that? I just ordered champagne, too!'
'What a coincidence' the farmer said. 'This is a special day for me. I am celebrating.'
This is a special day for me too, I am also celebrating,' said the woman.'
'What a coincidence!' said the farmer.  As they clinked glasses he added: 'What are you celebrating?' 
'My husband and I have been trying to have a child and today my gynecologist told me that I am pregnant!' 
'What a coincidence!' said the man. 'I'm a chicken farmer and all last year my hens were infertile, but today they are all laying eggs again.' 
'That's great!' said the woman, 'How did your chickens become fertile?'



'I used a different cock,' he replied.



The woman smiled, clinked his glass and said,  'What a coincidence.'


 

 

[Mince n Tatties]

A farmer went to a local bar and ordered a glass of champagne.  
The woman sitting next to him said, 'How about that? I just ordered champagne, too!'
'What a coincidence' the farmer said. 'This is a special day for me. I am celebrating.'
This is a special day for me too, I am also celebrating,' said the woman.'
'What a coincidence!' said the farmer.  As they clinked glasses he added: 'What are you celebrating?'  
'My husband and I have been trying to have a child and today my gynecologist told me that I am pregnant!'  
'What a coincidence!' said the man. 'I'm a chicken farmer and all last year my hens were infertile, but today they are all laying eggs again.'  
'That's great!' said the woman, 'How did your chickens become fertile?'



'I used a different cock,' he replied.



The woman smiled, clinked his glass and said,  'What a coincidence.'


 

 

:005:

[HatterDon]

Each year before his fatal accident, his mother would ask him what he wanted for Christmas, and he said, "Whatever you think is best." Finally, he got the courage to speak his mind. "I don't care what you get me, as long as it isn't another effing hat!"