Hot Off the Presses - Finnster Turns down Fulham

[finnster01]

July 17th 2010, Motspur Park, UK.
Fulham just wanted to state that there are no truth to the rumours that Finn is about to take over as permanent manager on a 3 year deal. Although the parties came very close during negotiations, the personal terms could not be completed. The sticking point was basically Finn's demand to be able to throw all his toys out of the pram at any point in time, especially when facing Chelsea or Arsenal (including being allowed to throw pizza at Arsene Whiner). The club felt strongly that this would not be appropriate behaviour hence cancelled further negotiations.

It also didn't help that he insisted on having Teddy Sheringham and Mr CorkedHat on his coaching staff as it would add too much to the travelling budget for the Hat to get there regularly. Both Fulham and Finn has issued a statement indicating that whilst it is July and love all is happening, hence useless press releases, it would be nice to actually have a manager appointed before Christmas. Unfortunately that is another reason Finn can not take the job as he is booked as Santa in a previous engagement.

[Lighthouse]

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Finnster will make an about turn, fall over, get up, fall down again, and sign on as new Fulham foi3h=0g. Earlier it was believed he had walked away, fallen down and then pretended he had meant to fall over. But now the two sides have agreed to disagree. An insider said 'Ew look at the dudt in here' It is also hoped that along with Finnster, a new pwdjj will soon be signed by a deaf person.


Messages to this post

Me mate who knows Handlebar says he saw Finnster at Monster Park gewtting out of a taxi and falling over. So it could be true. My maye was the one who predicted man would lanmd on the Moon. So here is hoping.
GULLIBLE TWIT

Gullibal twit no way wood fiinsster use a taxi. you lieing

RODE SIDELBUM.

[boxhockcycsock]

What rumours?  :dft002:

I suppose I understand why at Fulham you would want permission to throw all your toys 'out the pram at any point in time,' given that as Santa Claus it is quite the opposite job description. Oh well, hey while you're reading this, I want a 30 goal/season striker to sign for Fulham for Christmas. I've been a good boy this year, I promise!  :021:

[Lighthouse]

SANTA DENIES EXISTENCE OF FINN

Just a story to keep kids quiet says Santa

[CorkedHat]

July 17th 2010, Motspur Park, UK.
Fulham just wanted to state that there are no truth to the rumours that Finn is about to take over as permanent manager on a 3 year deal. Although the parties came very close during negotiations, the personal terms could not be completed. The sticking point was basically Finn's demand to be able to throw all his toys out of the pram at any point in time, especially when facing the dark side or Arsenal (including being allowed to throw pizza at Arsene Whiner). The club felt strongly that this would not be appropriate behaviour hence cancelled further negotiations.

It also didn't help that he insisted on having Teddy Sheringham and Mr CorkedHat on his coaching staff as it would add too much to the travelling budget for the Hat to get there regularly. Both Fulham and Finn has issued a statement indicating that whilst it is July and fcuk all is happening, hence useless press releases, it would be nice to actually have a manager appointed before Christmas. Unfortunately that is another reason Finn can not take the job as he is booked as Santa in a previous engagement.

Mr Finn, if you were appointed Manager I would be moving next door to LBno11 so that I could be in spitting distance of Motspur Park. I wouldn't allow him to show me the way, however, because even a simple walk between New Malden and Tolworth had him going via the North Circular Road - his sense of direction is about the same as Reg Stratton's.
But between us, Mr Finn, you and I would knock those lily livered pansies into shape so I would ask you to reconsider before Fulham starts falling through one trap door after another. :019:

[Logicalman]

From The Lapland Litigator
July 17, 2010

Santa Clause has issued a statement denying that he has ever thrown his toys out of the pram, or the sleigh. It was earlier reported, by a staff member with a bright red nose who spoke under the agreement of anonymity, that toys had, in fact, been seen to fall under suspicious circumstances when the sleigh was late back to catch the midnight showing of Its a Wonderful World.
On a lighter note, Mr Claus also joked about his involvement in the ongoing struggle by English Premier League side Fulham, to appoint a new manager, when asked whether Jol was to be announced, he replied " Who? I thought Finn was up for the job ", but agreed to release the mighty Smurf to play another season at the cottage.

[CorkedHat]

NEWSFLASH

Santa Claus is sad to report that after many years of loyal service, Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer has retired. So as not to disappoint millions of children this Christmas, Santa is delighted that he has found in Rudolph's place a red nosed lookalike by the name of Alex. :dft007: