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The official "You know you're getting older when..." thread

Started by Burt, May 28, 2015, 09:06:30 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

Burt

You know you're getting older when...

You (well, me) have a couple of pints in the City last night, have a quick pee before going home, and then have to stop off at Wimbledon and Surbiton for further pees...

I used to be a camel in my yoof and store beer in my body. Now it just seeps out  :012:

bog

When you don't have shoes with laces anymore as you cannot reach down that far....

092.gif

Mince n Tatties

When you go to make a Cuppa, get in the Kitchen, then
ask yourself "What did I come in here for"..


snarks

....it takes 5 minutes of limbering up in the morning just to manage the stairs to put the kettle on

f321ffc

A 'late night' now ends at 11 pm. 092.gif

An all nighter" means not getting up to pee! 092.gif

Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work. 092.gif

049:gif COYW
Growing old is mandatory
Growing up is optional

cmg

Quote from: Mince n Tatties on May 28, 2015, 09:28:58 AM
When you go to make a Cuppa, get in the Kitchen, then
ask yourself "What did I come in here for"..

...even worse. Go to the kitchen to make a cuppa. Make a cheese and pickle sarnie. Sit back in front of the tv and think, "Mmmm, I fancy a cuppa...."


TheDaddy

No amount of shaking stops that little bit from escaping once tucked back in !!!

"Well blow me if it wasnt the badger who did it "

Galeforce

Go to the kitchen to make a cuppa, forget why, re-trace back to the living room, think who's house is this? that woman looks alot like my mother-in-law...nevermind, I'll watch Fulham on MOTD.
It's a town full of losers and I'm pulling out of here to win.

Fernhurst

This thread should be re titled ....."notes from an enlarged prostate".....with apologies to Bill Bryson.
What frustrates me is ....I was previously the source of all knowledge, now I can never even find the sauce!

And another thing...... It takes me two days to recover from attending a home match, it's not the football on offer its the 200 mile round trip drive.

My energy levels were previously through the roof now they are through the floor. I sit down for a rest or a quiet snooze after watching a frenetic match on TV!

Ok, Old Sods....when do you give up wearing jeans and trainers???..... I'm considering it?
The atmosphere's fresh and the debate lively.


Airfix

Last night, my missus said to me, "Come upstairs and make mad, passionate love to me!"

I replied, "At my age, love, it's one or the other."

gang

Go onto You Tube there is a video of a song from Golf Brooks called Senior Moments well worth hearing.

f321ffc

Quote from: Fernhurst on May 28, 2015, 10:23:39 AM
This thread should be re titled ....."notes from an enlarged prostate".....with apologies to Bill Bryson.
What frustrates me is ....I was previously the source of all knowledge, now I can never even find the sauce!

And another thing...... It takes me two days to recover from attending a home match, it's not the football on offer its the 200 mile round trip drive.

My energy levels were previously through the roof now they are through the floor. I sit down for a rest or a quiet snooze after watching a frenetic match on TV!

Ok, Old Sods....when do you give up wearing jeans and trainers???..... I'm considering it?

Jeans are ok at any age, gave up wearing trainers about 10 years ago just dont think they look right on an old git like me, but hey each to their own. 092.gif
Growing old is mandatory
Growing up is optional


Lighthouse

It is Summer and you see a lovely girl dressed in a nothing much and a bare stomach. You fear for her catching a chill and she really should wrap up.

Everybody is dressed for Summer but you need that extra Jumper.


You are going out and you put your shoes on. You struggle into your coat and check you have the wallet and keys. Go to the back door, open it and realise you need to go to the loo. (Sorry prostrate again)


You watch a tv show that is really good until you  realise you know the ending because you watched it before.

The adverts between tv shows last so long that you leave to make tea or the loo and forget to come back.


The above IS NOT A LEGAL DOCUMENT. It is an opinion.

We may yet hear the horse talk.

I can stand my own despair but not others hope

TheDaddy

When you dont  understanding the lyrics to songs in the top 40 ,
You go round switching off lights in the house and tell the kids to turn that down.
Watching Tv and see an actor and think christ hes getting on then realise his younger than you.
"Well blow me if it wasnt the badger who did it "

The Equalizer

Quote from: TheDaddy on May 28, 2015, 10:34:44 AM
When you dont  understanding the lyrics to songs in the top 40 ,
You go round switching off lights in the house and tell the kids to turn that down.
Watching Tv and see an actor and think christ hes getting on then realise his younger than you.


Songs in the top 40 have lyrics?
"We won't look back on this season with regret, but with pride. Because we won what many teams fail to win in a lifetime – an unprecedented degree of respect and support that saw British football fans unite and cheer on Fulham with heart." Mohammed Al Fayed, May 2010

Twitter: @equalizerffc


grandad

The older you get the less likely you are of getting your face slapped.
Where there's a will there's a wife

f321ffc

Quote from: grandad on May 28, 2015, 11:58:45 AM
The older you get the less likely you are of getting your face slapped.
Thats only because at a certain age we have forgotten about doing the things that get your face slapped. 092.gif
Growing old is mandatory
Growing up is optional

keithh

Reading about the mounting death toll of one's peer group.
Remembering not to cross your legs to improve circulation.
Realising that you can still run, but only in your mind.
Shaking your head in dismay at things & then realising it's becoming a tic.
Looking for age marks on your hands.
Not brushing your hair quite so vigorously in case your hair falls out.
Looking for nose hairs.
When you line your pills up & then count them again to make sure you have them all.
Being careful when navigating stairs.


gang


jarv

I was going to type something, but I just forgot what I intended to say.