What is all this 'statistics' claptrap?

[win-dup]

As Tommy Cooper might have said;  ball, net; net, ball. What could be simpler?

[snarks]

But Alan Shearer and Andy Cole could both score goals. but there is no doubt who most people would have in their team. Hence chance conversion rate, shot accuracy, shot sucess, headers won etc

[bill taylors apprentice]

Lies, Damned Lies and Statistics!

[Jonaldiniho 88]

Done some research and it turns out they are statistics.

[Craven Mad]

Done some research and it turns out they are statistics.

Thanks for the research.

Based on your research I decided to do some further research. My research also revealed that they are statistics.

Hopefully our combined research will have put this issue to rest and our friend can now sleep easy, knowing the answer to his original question.

[Rupert]

Unfortunately, my research reveals that 52% of people think most statistics are made up (78% of all statistics, to be precise) and 33% of the population believe that research is just an excuse to get paid for not working.

My boss certainly thinks so, and has just put me on a final warning for looking into this, so that proves it is true.

[HatterDon]

Or as the legendary pitcher Joaquin Andujar once said, "90% of baseball is half mental."

[Lighthouse]

My research is funded by the Society of Statistical analysts. I can reveal that 98% of all statistics are terribly informative and important.

[Woolly Mammoth]

Statistics deals with the collection, classification, analysis, and interpretation of numerical facts or data, and that, by use of mathematical theories of probability, imposes order and regularity on aggregates of more or less disparate elements.
I hope I made myself clear.

[Woolly Mammoth]

Claptrap means pretentious or insincere or empty language. An artifice or expedient for winning applause or impressing the public.
In other words Nonsense.

[Rupert]

Claptrap means pretentious or insincere or empty language. An artifice or expedient for winning applause or impressing the public.
In other words Nonsense.

Statistically, how high a percentage of Friends of Fulhamites are surprised that the extinct, tusked one knows the meaning of "claptrap"?
I didn't have a clue, and still don't, so there.

[os5889 mkII]

"If your experiment needs a statistician, you need a better experiment."
― Ernest Rutherford

[Rupert]

Claptrap means pretentious or insincere or empty language. An artifice or expedient for winning applause or impressing the public.
In other words Nonsense.

Statistically, how high a percentage of Friends of Fulhamites are surprised that the extinct, tusked one knows the meaning of "claptrap"?
I didn't have a clue, and still don't, so there.

That's because you went to the wrong school young man.

I went to school?

[Burt]

I hadn't appreciated that the Beano was such a fixture even in the cretaceous period  :dft011:

[nose]

Statistics deals with the collection, classification, analysis, and interpretation of numerical facts or data, and that, by use of mathematical theories of probability, imposes order and regularity on aggregates of more or less disparate elements.
I hope I made myself clear.

I hate to bring sanity to this endlessly hilarious thread but your definition is good!
I am actually very good at stats, studied it and understand the subject (sort of!).
The problem with most stats is the misrepresentation, mis analysis, comparing apples with oranges and the most usual misunderstanding of when a stat is relevant and/or meaningful...

But the raw data itself remains accurate.... I have 100 apples means just that, i have 100 apples.... by the way i don't

[Rupert]

Claptrap means pretentious or insincere or empty language. An artifice or expedient for winning applause or impressing the public.
In other words Nonsense.

Statistically, how high a percentage of Friends of Fulhamites are surprised that the extinct, tusked one knows the meaning of "claptrap"?
I didn't have a clue, and still don't, so there.

That's because you went to the wrong school young man.

I went to school?

Going by your posts, and I reckon I am not the worst judge in the world. Therefore, Taking into consideration your high intellect, and command of the English language, with your good standard of grammar and punctuation, and comprehension and balanced and level headed views, you had a decent education.
Unlike myself, whereupon, I had the misfortune of attending a school equating very much like the one you see in the Beano, with the Bash Street Kids, if you ever read that comic when you were a nipper, with Plug and his chums.
Please don't misunderstand, I don't read the Beano anymore, I stopped months ago.

I'm afraid you are confusing the basic sensible, level headed approach of most bears to life and its slings and arrows with an education, which humans have to go through, and still come out the other side worse off than bears. You think that may not be the case? Well, how many bears have to worry about mortgages or keeping the boss happy, yet still lead happy and fruitful lives, scratching their backs on trees, crapping in the woods, mauling the occasional unwary traveller to death and sleeping all winter?
Any human who did that would be imprisoned, but bears are just being bears.

Beano sounds like a bear's name. It must be a very highly thought of publication.

[Rupert]

Well a rabbit once met a bear in the woods, and the bear asked him if poo sticks to his fur, and the rabbit replied, no it does not. So the bear picked the rabbit up, wiped his backside with him, and then through him in the bushes.
So the moral of the story is, never stop and talk to strange bears in your local woods.
But referring to your post, and please bear with me on this, there are Grizzly Bears, Polar Bears, Koala Bears, Brown Bears, Teddy Bears and even Bear Grylls.  

That rabbit thought he was far too smart for his own good, which a few on here might take warning from, but probably won't until they are covered in bear poo.

We prefer to not talk about Bear Grylls, and I will be grateful if you do not mention him again. His involvement in the bicycle at the convent incident only exacerbated the situation and led to the unpleasantness with Mother Superior and Sister Frances. My bruises have only just finished healing from that one.

[Logicalman]

Claptrap means pretentious or insincere or empty language. An artifice or expedient for winning applause or impressing the public.
In other words Nonsense.

Statistically, how high a percentage of Friends of Fulhamites are surprised that the extinct, tusked one knows the meaning of "claptrap"?
I didn't have a clue, and still don't, so there.

That's because you went to the wrong school young man.

I went to school?

Going by your posts, and I reckon I am not the worst judge in the world. Therefore, Taking into consideration your high intellect, and command of the English language, with your good standard of grammar and punctuation, and comprehension and balanced and level headed views, you had a decent education.
Unlike myself, whereupon, I had the misfortune of attending a school equating very much like the one you see in the Beano, with the Bash Street Kids, if you ever read that comic when you were a nipper, with Plug and his chums.
Please don't misunderstand, I don't read the Beano anymore, I stopped months ago.

you READ the Beano?

[Rupert]

Well a rabbit once met a bear in the woods, and the bear asked him if poo sticks to his fur, and the rabbit replied, no it does not. So the bear picked the rabbit up, wiped his backside with him, and then through him in the bushes.
So the moral of the story is, never stop and talk to strange bears in your local woods.
But referring to your post, and please bear with me on this, there are Grizzly Bears, Polar Bears, Koala Bears, Brown Bears, Teddy Bears and even Bear Grylls. 

That rabbit thought he was far too smart for his own good, which a few on here might take warning from, but probably won't until they are covered in bear poo.

We prefer to not talk about Bear Grylls, and I will be grateful if you do not mention him again. His involvement in the bicycle at the convent incident only exacerbated the situation and led to the unpleasantness with Mother Superior and Sister Frances. My bruises have only just finished healing from that one.

I promise I will not mention his name again, especially after sunset.
That Mother Superior and Sister Francis sound a real hoot.

Sister Frances, not Sister Francis, who was unfrocked, so to speak, after the bishop's visit and served five years in the Vatican's top security corrective institute, before going to his current post in St Ignacius the Careless' monastery, high up in the Swiss Alps. Very high up.
We don't talk about that one, either. Something about the Inquisition (yes, it still exists, as the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith) taking an interest in us if we do.