Joke of the Day

[Andy S]

Mummy Whale and her off spring were swimming in the sea and little whale said to mummy look mummy there is a small boat over there could you swim underneath it and blow some air out your blow hole so all the sailors fall in the water. I don't know said mummy I did it last week. Little whale said oh please mummy please please please. Mummy said she would and as she started to swim towards the boat little whale said and this time mummy when they fall in the water could you eat them? No said Mummy I don't mind doing blow jobs but I'm not swallowing the seamen.......I'll get my coat...

[fashion140]

Why did the the scarecrow win the nobel peace prize??

For outstanding work in his field.

I think I will get mine too hahhahahahahah

[f321ffc]

Police are hunting a midget fortune teller who kills his customers, police say there is a dangerous small medium at large.
Now where's my coat.

[Fulham Tup North]

 078.gif  Little Eskimo boy said to his Mum, "What's for tea"?
She said "Vera Lynn Burgers".
The Boy said,"Oh no, not Whale Meat Again"!!
   :Get Coat gif:

[Woolly Mammoth]

An elderly man walked into the premises of a large Company, and said, " Good Afternoon I have come to ask if my son Tom Carter can have the afternoon off so I can take him to the football match ".
The manager replied, " Tom Carter is not here, we have already given him the afternoon off to attend your funeral ".

[Forever Fulham]

078.gif  Little Eskimo boy said to his Mum, "What's for tea"?
She said "Vera Lynn Burgers".
The Boy said,"Oh no, not Whale Meat Again"!!
   :Get Coat gif:

that has to be a very old joke

[f5shooter]

An elderly man walked into the premises of a large Company, and said, " Good Afternoon I have come to ask if my son Tom Carter can have the afternoon off so I can take him to the football match ".
The manager replied, " Tom Carter is not here, we have already given him the afternoon off to attend your funeral ".

Haha.  Made me laugh

[YankeeJim]

A very wealthy barrister is riding in the back of his limo when he notices a family of six in a field eating grass. He has his driver pull over and asks the people why they were eating grass. They replied, "we've fallen on hard times and can't afford to buy food so we're eating grass". The barrister says, "this is terrible, get in my limo and I'll take you home with me and you can eat all you want there". The family piles into the lino with many smiles and the barrister says "you'll love my place, the grass must be a foot high".