Ian Darke

[HatterDon]

Dear England,

Can you please reclaim your lost luggage? I'm talking about Ian Darke here. For some reason ESPN over here has decided that he should be the voice of football/soccer matches for USA internationals. He's smug, makes himself chuckle too easy, and talks as if [forgive me under 50s] his mother vaccinated him with a phonograph needle.

He does have one attractive attribute ... he's a wonderful "accidental comedian." Here's an example from last night's USA v. Mexico friendly: "Mexico are on the crest of a slump."

So, anytime you'd like to drop by ESPN headquarters and escort him back to Old Blighty, I'd be most appreciative.


psst, there's a pint of London Pride in it for you

[Denver Fulham]

Dear England,

Can you please reclaim your lost luggage? I'm talking about Ian Darke here. For some reason ESPN over here has decided that he should be the voice of football/soccer matches for USA internationals. He's smug, makes himself chuckle too easy, and talks as if [forgive me under 50s] his mother vaccinated him with a phonograph needle.

He does have one attractive attribute ... he's a wonderful "accidental comedian." Here's an example from last night's USA v. Mexico friendly: "Mexico are on the crest of a slump."

So, anytime you'd like to drop by ESPN headquarters and escort him back to Old Blighty, I'd be most appreciative.


psst, there's a pint of London Pride in it for you

I kind of disagree: Darke's pretty perfect for the US national team. He actually acts enthusiastic, but seems to enjoy the relative lack of seriousness vs that of English football. He just pumps weak narratives for a couple hours, has a nice accent and lets Taylor Twellman talk. It's been way worse over here.

[brightster]

That's funny because I like his commentary and would love him back doing the premiership!
Am on holiday in Clearwater Florida and watched the game last night and he was the best thing in that game, both teams were dreadful, nearly fell asleep! At least he commentates on the action, not like some of the BBC and aITV guys who seemed to want it o tell you about long lost cousins and all that rubbish, they miss half the games!

[paulbrookersmazydribbles]

Got to agree with Hatter here. Darke is an average boxing commentator and appalling when it comes to football. I sincerely apologise to the Americans on the forum for his prominent role over there

[Matt10]

Personally don't mind him. If you've been watching footy coverage in the US for the last 20 years, I'm sure you'd agree, it's been worse.

[Woolly Mammoth]

I like Ian Darke, he concentrates on the games. and doesn't utter boring cheesy nonsense about non footballing issues like some I could mention. I liked his commentary on the boxing as well.
Many years ago i got the impression that Andy Gray did not like him when working with him. Gray seemed very condescending towards him.
So anyone that Gray doesn't like is a friend of mine.

[Holders]

Anyone who can come up with "on the crest of a slump" sounds ok to me!

...so long as he meant it, that is.

It almost takes me back to Colemanballs. https://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/telegraphsportnews/10532492/David-Coleman-dies-Top-20-Colemanballs.html

[Milo]

I personally feel commentators are irritating these days and I frequently watch games on mute.

Let's divide commentators up into primary and secondary commentators. The primary commentator typically reads out the name of the player with the ball, while the secondary commentator is normally a guest ex-footballer who analyses the most recent piece of play.

I feel the primary commentator's role has changed in recent years. They have begun introducing press opinions and news stories surrounding clubs, their players, managers etc into their commentating. This ends up coming across strongly as their own opinion on such a story and is so inappropriate.

E.g World Cup. Primary commentator discussed in Argentina game about Messi (captain) holding a team talk in corridor before second half. He said that Messi was holding his "own team talk" in the corridor because his manager was useless. He then went on to commentate on a picture of Argentina's manager as they scored the winning goal to say "notice how no one is celebrating with the manager".

This is just completely inappropriate. He is regurgitating news stories and fabricating scenarios because of his personal opinion. It's similar to what you or I would be saying over a pint in the pub watching the game.

There is enough press, post-match interviews etc to make our own opinions on game events without commentators, who should be utterly neutral, selling us their own story of what's going on. Even if they think it's a majority view of the public, it is NOT their role to bias the coverage of the game.

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[HatterDon]

Anyone who can come up with "on the crest of a slump" sounds ok to me!

...so long as he meant it, that is.

It almost takes me back to Colemanballs. https://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/telegraphsportnews/10532492/David-Coleman-dies-Top-20-Colemanballs.html

Ah, David Coleman -- an adventure in every broadcast

[YankeeJim]

I'll repeat what I have said on several occasions. Sports broadcasts in the US are about the the spectacle; that is, the personalities of players and announcers. They constantly superimpose graphics and senseless comments over the match. The US scores in the 25th minute and some bozo will say, "if these results hold, the US will qualify....". When added time is shown, they'll cut to that while the game is active, even if an attack is on going. And God forbid, a moment without comment! My gosh, do they think we tuned in to see a football match? No, just to hear those blabber mouths. Ian Darke is actually better then most, which should give you some idea of how bad it is over here. Good Lord people, you gave us a language and a legal system, couldn't you throw in an announcer with some feeling for the game?  :031:

[Forever Fulham]

Your larger point is so well taken.   When did it become necessary in the minds of content programmers to insert color commentators who never shut up, who drone on about anything and everything ad nauseum?  Chris Collingsworth is the worst.  Brent Mussberger provides no insight of any value, yet it seems there must  be a clause in his employment contract that requires him to comment on everything. And in the most inane way.  A consummate kiss up know-nothing.    Sports has its good ol' boy former players who regale us with personal stories, subjective beliefs, and useless statistics while the game is going on.  Never three consecutive minutes of just the sounds of the game, the players in action, with no comments and explanations.  Darke is far from the worse at this.  He knows the game, he makes his share of insights, some interesting.  But he too hates the silence, feels the need to say something  to fill the void.  I remember 30 years ago and further back we didn't have this incessant chatter during games regardless of the sport.  The game speaks for itself.  Now there's a pregame show, and post game highlight shows, and panels picking over minutiae.  If I were to give a shout out, it would be to Kyle Martino, Eric Wynalda (not everyone's taste, I know), Rob Stone, the always good Bob Ley, Max Bretos, Julie Foudy, the always excellent Canadian Jeremy St. Louis, and what the hell add Brandi Chastain for her  clever observations.  If color commentator didn't require you to talk a lot, I'd add McBride because though he says very little, when he does talk people shut up and take note and he makes complete sense.  Now and then Robbie Earle can be found commenting on a game.  Not North American, I know, but he adds to rather than detracts from the enjoyment of the game. 

[Matt10]

Your larger point is so well taken.   When did it become necessary in the minds of content programmers to insert color commentators who never shut up, who drone on about anything and everything ad nauseum?  Chris Collingsworth is the worst.  Brent Mussberger provides no insight of any value, yet it seems there must  be a clause in his employment contract that requires him to comment on everything. And in the most inane way.  A consummate kiss up know-nothing.    Sports has its good ol' boy former players who regale us with personal stories, subjective beliefs, and useless statistics while the game is going on.  Never three consecutive minutes of just the sounds of the game, the players in action, with no comments and explanations.  Darke is far from the worse at this.  He knows the game, he makes his share of insights, some interesting.  But he too hates the silence, feels the need to say something  to fill the void.  I remember 30 years ago and further back we didn't have this incessant chatter during games regardless of the sport.  The game speaks for itself.  Now there's a pregame show, and post game highlight shows, and panels picking over minutiae.  If I were to give a shout out, it would be to Kyle Martino, Eric Wynalda (not everyone's taste, I know), Rob Stone, the always good Bob Ley, Max Bretos, Julie Foudy, the always excellent Canadian Jeremy St. Louis, and what the hell add Brandi Chastain for her  clever observations.  If color commentator didn't require you to talk a lot, I'd add McBride because though he says very little, when he does talk people shut up and take note and he makes complete sense.  Now and then Robbie Earle can be found commenting on a game.  Not North American, I know, but he adds to rather than detracts from the enjoyment of the game.

I get the comparison of NFL to footy, but that's apples to oranges in the world of commentating.

NFL, or American football, it's all about TEACHING the viewer how the game is played. There is always some element of teaching you. Whether it be in between the action to show diagrams, bullet points, markings, etc. It's always about teaching you.

Footy though, the commentators you mention, they do little teaching because they respect the viewer enough to assume they know what they are watching. They know that there is no need to explain offsides anymore. Those names you picked out are spot on. Personal favorite of mine was Wynalda. More of a filter than if you talked to him on the pitch, but got right to the point.

I think that is also what Darke does for the sport here in the US. He doesn't sound like a know it all, doesn't sound like he's trying to teach you the game either. He sets up his teammate, usually Twellman, and continues to bring on solid analysis. I personally enjoy him when he's not trying to be too dramatic, but at the same time, I don't mind it.

[PaulUMD]

I think Darke is pretty good.  Prefer Arlo White or Jon Champion if picking British imports, but he's fine.  Respects the viewer and sets up his color man well. 

[Holders]

If a commentator intends to help someone understand complex games (e.g NFL) that's helpful but to constantly blather on when the action on the pitch speaks for itself (as in football most of the time) is pointless; not every second of air-time needs to be occupied by pointless utterance. Most football commentators do this.

I like cricket commentary best - they respect that you understand the complex game and speak when they can add something useful or interesting, there's not constant blather. In this they're more like the intelligent football "summarisers" or whatever they're called e.g. Murphy or Hoddle.

[Woolly Mammoth]

Martin Tyler is one of the worst, a real drip, talks nonsense like Nora Batty when the action is taking place on the field of play, he is talking about the linesman's pet dog that's had an operation on its piles.

[Pud]

Martin Tyler is one of the worst, a real drip, talks nonsense like Nora Batty when the action is taking place on the field of play, he is talking about the linesman's pet dog that's had an operation on its piles.

I used to be a big fan of his but he is sadly going the same way as John Motson and is starting to spoil the spectacle with his inanity.