I recently contacted the Fulham Fans Advisory Board to ask if they had raised the inadequacy of the Hammy End toilets with the club. This is FABs response:
Thanks for getting in touch with the FAB. The state of the loos in the Hammersmith End is a constant conversation point for us, both in terms of space and hygiene. I meet with Club supporter reps most weeks and we talk about how appalling they are. After the last formal FAB meeting with the Club (19 Jan) we raised the point that they might not understand how poor some aspects of the matchday experience are. As a result the Club appointed some 'mystery shoppers' at the Brighton game. Those who covered the Hammersmith End reported being traumatised by the toilet situation. So they know.
The question is what they will do about it. There seems to be a plan, not yet shared with us, to increase the capacity of the toilet facilities. Obviously that will require time and investment in a very space-constrained area. In the meantime, I expect the Club to develop a plan to improve hygiene. I also currently don't know what that is, but I will keep pushing them on it.
We really appreciate you getting in touch on this as the more supporters who raise the issue the easier it is for us to keep it on the agenda. I will share the content of your message with the Club for that purpose.
Best
David Claridge
FAB Chairs
(So, the more who get in touch with the club or FST or FAB the better)
FFC have registered a few football firsts over the years, maybe we'll be the first club to appoint a toilet attendant?
Quote from: SP on March 05, 2026, 05:26:46 PMFFC have registered a few of football's firsts over the years, maybe we'll be the first club to appoint a toilet attendant?
Ahh I was a toilet monitor at school, of course nowadays you would be called a pervert.
A Hammy End Mystery Shopper for the bogs, blimey. Dare I ask what preparation is needed to ensure the cubicles get a good test drive?
Most of us try to avoid using them at all costs however should you have had a few drinks prior to arriving there is no option. My advice to the club is to try and purchase some land at the rear of Hammersmith end and build some decent toilets to facilitate the size crowd we get these days. The toilets wer3n5 good enough when the crowd was 3,000
Quote from: KentFulham on March 05, 2026, 06:18:17 PMA Hammy End Mystery Shopper for the bogs, blimey. Dare I ask what preparation is needed to ensure the cubicles get a good test drive?
Preparation H presumably
I have young grandchildren who often attend games, watching from the HE. The loos are nothing short of disgraceful.
If you had someone stopping people coming in through the out door that would be a small improvement. But the floor was awash yesterday...
Why did they need to employ a mystery shopper rather than listen to hundreds of fan testimonies over many years, or simply go for themselves.
Very odd.
I noticed when I was leaving the ground last night.
The Hammy End toilets were infested with a profusion of Dung Beatles rolling their own personal ball of Dung.
Some men are just pigs and think it's fine to piss on the floor, rather than wait for a space, and others who get a space and for some weird reason aim their piss up, down, left right and splash other fans!
Complete morons who think they are cool!
Why would the club spend money on these animals?
It's gonna take one person to slip over and crack their head open in those bogs before anything is done.
They are disgraceful and quite frankly have been so for many a year.
Seeing 💩 on the floor was the last memory of me using those bogs. Never again.
They investigated them but found they had nothing to go on
Quote from: sunburywhite on March 05, 2026, 09:31:39 PMThey investigated them but found they had nothing to go on
They probably took one step in the loos and thought sod it we aren't going in any further and declared them safe.
Maybe force Ali Mac and the rest of the board use them until they are improved. I think the pace of rebuilding would soon increase.
Couldn't the club do a deal with the flat owners behind the Hammersmith end....we could use their carsey's
On a more serious note...in the close season, they could literally knock them down and crane in pre built modular bog's that almost just stitch together
Quote from: H4usuallysitting on March 06, 2026, 09:36:21 AMOn a more serious note...in the close season, they could literally knock them down and crane in pre built modular bog's that almost just stitch together
Yes, that works well at Twickenham.
Quote from: SP on March 06, 2026, 09:37:59 AMQuote from: H4usuallysitting on March 06, 2026, 09:36:21 AMOn a more serious note...in the close season, they could literally knock them down and crane in pre built modular bog's that almost just stitch together
Yes, that works well at Twickenham.
But they've got odd shaped balls!
Crikey.... I'm getting serious.....the club could even make money out of new modular bog's....people might even pay for a brick (on the outside) with their name on it..... something like...H4 dumped here
Quote from: H4usuallysitting on March 06, 2026, 11:41:43 AMCrikey.... I'm getting serious.....the club could even make money out of new modular bog's....people might even pay for a brick (on the outside) with their name on it..... something like...H4 dumped here
Sponsored bog roll too?
Hi everyone,
I'm sandwich grosgrain, and me is running a survey on Dylan shoes. Please get back to me
A random thought but I wonder if they offered the Secret Shoppers any counselling for what they witnessed?
Quote from: SP on March 06, 2026, 01:00:38 PMA random thought but I wonder if they offered the Secret Shoppers any counselling for what they witnessed?
Or a gas mask and body armour before entering said bogs.
Quote from: KentFulham on March 05, 2026, 06:18:17 PMA Hammy End Mystery Shopper for the bogs, blimey. Dare I ask what preparation is needed to ensure the cubicles get a good test drive?
They need demolition first! 🚽 🚻 🚾 💩
Quote from: 3rdgenfan on March 05, 2026, 06:42:40 PMQuote from: KentFulham on March 05, 2026, 06:18:17 PMA Hammy End Mystery Shopper for the bogs, blimey. Dare I ask what preparation is needed to ensure the cubicles get a good test drive?
Preparation H presumably
Sounds like that might be right up their alley.
Don't forget your hand sanister tomorrow! And your wading boots for all the slashes on the floor.
Fulham branded Imodium, could be a nice little earner?
Quote from: SP on March 07, 2026, 07:28:35 PMFulham branded Imodium, could be a nice little earner?
The club shop would need expanding to accommodate all the basic requirements and health remedies for entering the hammy end bogs.
That's if you survive using them in the first place.
Quote from: FFC007 on March 05, 2026, 09:31:08 PMIt's gonna take one person to slip over and crack their head open in those bogs before anything is done.
They are disgraceful and quite frankly have been so for many a year.
Seeing 💩 on the floor was the last memory of me using those bogs. Never again.
Are you telling me that Robbie Savage was laying on the floor was your last memory of you using those facilities.
Quote from: hopper on March 05, 2026, 08:20:01 PMWhy did they need to employ a mystery shopper rather than listen to hundreds of fan testimonies over many years, or simply go for themselves.
Very odd.
The original email is mine. I can explain why there was a mystery shopper. The point raised by the FAB in January was not specifically the toilets, it was about many aspects of matchday experience. A contractor is responsible for the delivery of catering services so our original question was whether anyone from the Club actually experiences for themselves what really happens on the other side of the counter on a matchday. Unsurpisingly, the Hammersmith End loos ended up being the stand out issue from the mystery shopper exercise. We will be discussing it further with the Club at out next meeting (end of March).
Quote from: deecee on March 07, 2026, 08:30:33 PMQuote from: hopper on March 05, 2026, 08:20:01 PMWhy did they need to employ a mystery shopper rather than listen to hundreds of fan testimonies over many years, or simply go for themselves.
Very odd.
The original email is mine. I can explain why there was a mystery shopper. The point raised by the FAB in January was not specifically the toilets, it was about many aspects of matchday experience. A contractor is responsible for the delivery of catering services so our original question was whether anyone from the Club actually experiences for themselves what really happens on the other side of the counter on a matchday. Unsurpisingly, the Hammersmith End loos ended up being the stand out issue from the mystery shopper exercise. We will be discussing it further with the Club at out next meeting (end of March).
Then they need to sort out the micro bogs in the JH stand.
The Riverside ones are far superior to those, but the queues are horrendous at full time with people heading for the exits colliding with people queuing for the bogs.
More often than not you have to try and barge people out of the way in the queue.
Poorly designed.
I think they should have the roughest toilet paper ever with a picture of Robbie Savage on it
Then we could say Robbie Savage isnt fit to wipe our ar5e
I'd encourage everyone to head here and submit a short message, https://www.fulhamfc.com/fans/fan-advisory-board/contact-us
Mine for reference or use:
Hello members of the Fulham Advisory Board,
As a supporter and season ticket holder, I am writing to raise a recurring negative experience regarding the facilities in the Hammersmith End.
Quite frankly, the Hammersmith End toilets are inadequate and inexcusable for a Premier League side, especially one that prides itself on offering one of the best matchday experiences in the country. A quick search shows that the Fulham Supporters Trust raised this issue with the club years ago, yet there appear to have been very few meaningful improvements since.
Week after week, the facilities are overcrowded, poorly maintained, and simply not fit for the number of supporters using them. For many fans in this stand, using the toilets at halftime means either missing part of the match or enduring an unreasonable wait. The conditions themselves are also frequently unpleasant, with strong odours, wet and dirty floors, and a general lack of cleanliness that falls far below what should be expected at a Premier League ground. I will spare the graphic details, but piss and poo in somewhat large quantities on the floor is not an uncommon sight.
Given the significant investment that has gone into the Riverside development and the club's stated ambition to deliver a top-class matchday experience, it is disappointing that such a basic aspect of stadium infrastructure continues to fall short.
It is also important to point out that, given the current state of the facilities, incremental or cosmetic measures will not be sufficient. After years of neglect, modest changes will only lead to modest improvements, and that is unlikely to address the scale of the problem. Meaningful investment and a proper refurbishment are needed if conditions are to reach the standard supporters should reasonably expect.
I hope the Advisory Board can raise this issue with the club and advocate for meaningful improvements to the facilities in the Hammersmith End.
Thank you for your time and for representing supporters' concerns.
Message submitted...
It's crazy that after all the noise around the bogs from many a fan that nothing has been done about them so far, and it's taken this long to get some kind of message to them to sort the bloody things out!
I've seen cleaner bogs on packed Southern trains down this way!
Quote from: The Little Dave on March 09, 2026, 07:05:31 PMI'd encourage everyone to head here and submit a short message, https://www.fulhamfc.com/fans/fan-advisory-board/contact-us
Mine for reference or use:
Hello members of the Fulham Advisory Board,
As a supporter and season ticket holder, I am writing to raise a recurring negative experience regarding the facilities in the Hammersmith End.
Quite frankly, the Hammersmith End toilets are inadequate and inexcusable for a Premier League side, especially one that prides itself on offering one of the best matchday experiences in the country. A quick search shows that the Fulham Supporters Trust raised this issue with the club years ago, yet there appear to have been very few meaningful improvements since.
Week after week, the facilities are overcrowded, poorly maintained, and simply not fit for the number of supporters using them. For many fans in this stand, using the toilets at halftime means either missing part of the match or enduring an unreasonable wait. The conditions themselves are also frequently unpleasant, with strong odours, wet and dirty floors, and a general lack of cleanliness that falls far below what should be expected at a Premier League ground. I will spare the graphic details, but piss and poo in somewhat large quantities on the floor is not an uncommon sight.
Given the significant investment that has gone into the Riverside development and the club's stated ambition to deliver a top-class matchday experience, it is disappointing that such a basic aspect of stadium infrastructure continues to fall short.
It is also important to point out that, given the current state of the facilities, incremental or cosmetic measures will not be sufficient. After years of neglect, modest changes will only lead to modest improvements, and that is unlikely to address the scale of the problem. Meaningful investment and a proper refurbishment are needed if conditions are to reach the standard supporters should reasonably expect.
I hope the Advisory Board can raise this issue with the club and advocate for meaningful improvements to the facilities in the Hammersmith End.
Thank you for your time and for representing supporters' concerns.
Well said Little Dave. I only wish, as intimated in my original post, that more people would voice their dissatisfaction in this way instead of just moaning about it on message boards or making stupid jokes.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
We need to organise a dirty protest, won't be difficult in those toilets.
These Toilets have recently been condemned by the Dung Beatle Health Association who have made an official statement saying that they would not touch the premises with a Ball of Dung.
Let alone frequent the facility.
The danger that stools kept alive in these grotesque surroundings will breed by the dozen very quickly to such an extent that you end up finding you having to flush yourself down the toilet to get away from them.
Quote from: _Putney_ on March 11, 2026, 11:34:25 AMWhy did the chicken cross the road?
He didn't, he was too chicken.
The mystery shopper on the trail of
the mystery Plopper...
Quote from: john dempsey on March 12, 2026, 04:12:07 PMThe mystery shopper on the trail of
the mystery Plopper...
Shouldn't be too hard to spot them when they all pee on the floor.
Those food outlets under the hammy end must get quite a whiff on match days. 💩
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom.
Quote from: BestOfBrede on March 05, 2026, 09:31:07 PMSome men are just pigs and think it's fine to piss on the floor, rather than wait for a space, and others who get a space and for some weird reason aim their piss up, down, left right and splash other fans!
Complete morons who think they are cool!
Why would the club spend money on these animals?
And some even have a dump with the toilet bowl full of bog roll and water so it's overflowing.
Utterly grotesque.
Quote from: deecee on March 07, 2026, 08:30:33 PMQuote from: hopper on March 05, 2026, 08:20:01 PMWhy did they need to employ a mystery shopper rather than listen to hundreds of fan testimonies over many years, or simply go for themselves.
Very odd.
The original email is mine. I can explain why there was a mystery shopper. The point raised by the FAB in January was not specifically the toilets, it was about many aspects of matchday experience. A contractor is responsible for the delivery of catering services so our original question was whether anyone from the Club actually experiences for themselves what really happens on the other side of the counter on a matchday. Unsurpisingly, the Hammersmith End loos ended up being the stand out issue from the mystery shopper exercise. We will be discussing it further with the Club at out next meeting (end of March).
Good luck!
They urgently need a refurb.
Quote from: Mickeyboro on March 05, 2026, 08:10:10 PMIf you had someone stopping people coming in through the out door that would be a small improvement. But the floor was awash yesterday...
Always my complaint to the club, their answer to the problem was to remove the separate entrance and exit signs.It also took me years of complaining to have a wash basin put at both ends.
Apparently FFC tried to sell the poo to Tottenham for manure but they said thanks but we already have enough sh1t on the pitch already
It now officially called The Excrement End, it even has its own post code.
On what3words the hammy end bogs fall under the words sling.holly.flap
and
brief.mostly.soak
:slap:
Quite apt really.
Quote from: Southcoastffc on March 05, 2026, 05:20:22 PMI recently contacted the Fulham Fans Advisory Board to ask if they had raised the inadequacy of the Hammy End toilets with the club. This is FABs response:
Thanks for getting in touch with the FAB. The state of the loos in the Hammersmith End is a constant conversation point for us, both in terms of space and hygiene. I meet with Club supporter reps most weeks and we talk about how appalling they are. After the last formal FAB meeting with the Club (19 Jan) we raised the point that they might not understand how poor some aspects of the matchday experience are. As a result the Club appointed some 'mystery shoppers' at the Brighton game. Those who covered the Hammersmith End reported being traumatised by the toilet situation. So they know.
The question is what they will do about it. There seems to be a plan, not yet shared with us, to increase the capacity of the toilet facilities. Obviously that will require time and investment in a very space-constrained area. In the meantime, I expect the Club to develop a plan to improve hygiene. I also currently don't know what that is, but I will keep pushing them on it.
We really appreciate you getting in touch on this as the more supporters who raise the issue the easier it is for us to keep it on the agenda. I will share the content of your message with the Club for that purpose.
Best
David Claridge
FAB Chairs
(So, the more who get in touch with the club or FST or FAB the better)
Back in the day when attendances were huge and stadiums weren't sanitised, once you were inside, if you wanted the toilet, you used a rolled up newspaper at half-time and went where you stood on the terraces. If you wanted a 'big toilet' you just had to wait. I don't understand this obsession with the WC facility at the Hammersmith End? Is it because it smells or it's just old?? Are you going to launch a petition?? You're lucky you have toilets (you say loo) when you think of how things were in 'the good old days.' It's only a place you visit for a minute or two, so surely, does it matter if they are not something from a luxury hotel?? How about piped music and self-flushing bogs you get in Asia?? It's a football ground for god's sake!! If the facility functions, what's the problem? Man up and stop moaning!!
Quote from: SuperFreeman on March 31, 2026, 05:22:19 AMQuote from: Southcoastffc on March 05, 2026, 05:20:22 PMI recently contacted the Fulham Fans Advisory Board to ask if they had raised the inadequacy of the Hammy End toilets with the club. This is FABs response:
Thanks for getting in touch with the FAB. The state of the loos in the Hammersmith End is a constant conversation point for us, both in terms of space and hygiene. I meet with Club supporter reps most weeks and we talk about how appalling they are. After the last formal FAB meeting with the Club (19 Jan) we raised the point that they might not understand how poor some aspects of the matchday experience are. As a result the Club appointed some 'mystery shoppers' at the Brighton game. Those who covered the Hammersmith End reported being traumatised by the toilet situation. So they know.
The question is what they will do about it. There seems to be a plan, not yet shared with us, to increase the capacity of the toilet facilities. Obviously that will require time and investment in a very space-constrained area. In the meantime, I expect the Club to develop a plan to improve hygiene. I also currently don't know what that is, but I will keep pushing them on it.
We really appreciate you getting in touch on this as the more supporters who raise the issue the easier it is for us to keep it on the agenda. I will share the content of your message with the Club for that purpose.
Best
David Claridge
FAB Chairs
(So, the more who get in touch with the club or FST or FAB the better)
Back in the day when attendances were huge and stadiums weren't sanitised, once you were inside, if you wanted the toilet, you used a rolled up newspaper at half-time and went where you stood on the terraces. If you wanted a 'big toilet' you just had to wait. I don't understand this obsession with the WC facility at the Hammersmith End? Is it because it smells or it's just old?? Are you going to launch a petition?? You're lucky you have toilets (you say loo) when you think of how things were in 'the good old days.' It's only a place you visit for a minute or two, so surely, does it matter if they are not something from a luxury hotel?? How about piped music and self-flushing bogs you get in Asia?? It's a football ground for god's sake!! If the facility functions, what's the problem? Man up and stop moaning!!
What a very thoughtless, narrow-minded post. I'm guessing you don't want to see any young supporters at Fulham (I have 3 STH grandchildren) and you're not yet in the 21st Century. No women at football in your World? Keep on smoking Woodbines and spitting?
Quote from: FFC007 on March 14, 2026, 11:52:14 AMQuote from: BestOfBrede on March 05, 2026, 09:31:07 PMSome men are just pigs and think it's fine to piss on the floor, rather than wait for a space, and others who get a space and for some weird reason aim their piss up, down, left right and splash other fans!
Complete morons who think they are cool!
Why would the club spend money on these animals?
And some even have a dump with the toilet bowl full of bog roll and water so it's overflowing.
Utterly grotesque.
It always amazes me that when I have to use a cubicle that the previous person has pi55ed on the seat rather than lift it up.
Quote from: SuperFreeman on March 31, 2026, 05:22:19 AMQuote from: Southcoastffc on March 05, 2026, 05:20:22 PMI recently contacted the Fulham Fans Advisory Board to ask if they had raised the inadequacy of the Hammy End toilets with the club. This is FABs response:
Thanks for getting in touch with the FAB. The state of the loos in the Hammersmith End is a constant conversation point for us, both in terms of space and hygiene. I meet with Club supporter reps most weeks and we talk about how appalling they are. After the last formal FAB meeting with the Club (19 Jan) we raised the point that they might not understand how poor some aspects of the matchday experience are. As a result the Club appointed some 'mystery shoppers' at the Brighton game. Those who covered the Hammersmith End reported being traumatised by the toilet situation. So they know.
The question is what they will do about it. There seems to be a plan, not yet shared with us, to increase the capacity of the toilet facilities. Obviously that will require time and investment in a very space-constrained area. In the meantime, I expect the Club to develop a plan to improve hygiene. I also currently don't know what that is, but I will keep pushing them on it.
We really appreciate you getting in touch on this as the more supporters who raise the issue the easier it is for us to keep it on the agenda. I will share the content of your message with the Club for that purpose.
Best
David Claridge
FAB Chairs
(So, the more who get in touch with the club or FST or FAB the better)
Back in the day when attendances were huge and stadiums weren't sanitised, once you were inside, if you wanted the toilet, you used a rolled up newspaper at half-time and went where you stood on the terraces. If you wanted a 'big toilet' you just had to wait. I don't understand this obsession with the WC facility at the Hammersmith End? Is it because it smells or it's just old?? Are you going to launch a petition?? You're lucky you have toilets (you say loo) when you think of how things were in 'the good old days.' It's only a place you visit for a minute or two, so surely, does it matter if they are not something from a luxury hotel?? How about piped music and self-flushing bogs you get in Asia?? It's a football ground for god's sake!! If the facility functions, what's the problem? Man up and stop moaning!!
How peculiar, I have been attending matches since 1958 and never saw this behaviour. Are you sure that the passing time has not affected your memory.
Quote from: SuperFreeman on March 31, 2026, 05:22:19 AMQuote from: Southcoastffc on March 05, 2026, 05:20:22 PMI recently contacted the Fulham Fans Advisory Board to ask if they had raised the inadequacy of the Hammy End toilets with the club. This is FABs response:
Thanks for getting in touch with the FAB. The state of the loos in the Hammersmith End is a constant conversation point for us, both in terms of space and hygiene. I meet with Club supporter reps most weeks and we talk about how appalling they are. After the last formal FAB meeting with the Club (19 Jan) we raised the point that they might not understand how poor some aspects of the matchday experience are. As a result the Club appointed some 'mystery shoppers' at the Brighton game. Those who covered the Hammersmith End reported being traumatised by the toilet situation. So they know.
The question is what they will do about it. There seems to be a plan, not yet shared with us, to increase the capacity of the toilet facilities. Obviously that will require time and investment in a very space-constrained area. In the meantime, I expect the Club to develop a plan to improve hygiene. I also currently don't know what that is, but I will keep pushing them on it.
We really appreciate you getting in touch on this as the more supporters who raise the issue the easier it is for us to keep it on the agenda. I will share the content of your message with the Club for that purpose.
Best
David Claridge
FAB Chairs
(So, the more who get in touch with the club or FST or FAB the better)
Back in the day when attendances were huge and stadiums weren't sanitised, once you were inside, if you wanted the toilet, you used a rolled up newspaper at half-time and went where you stood on the terraces. If you wanted a 'big toilet' you just had to wait. I don't understand this obsession with the WC facility at the Hammersmith End? Is it because it smells or it's just old?? Are you going to launch a petition?? You're lucky you have toilets (you say loo) when you think of how things were in 'the good old days.' It's only a place you visit for a minute or two, so surely, does it matter if they are not something from a luxury hotel?? How about piped music and self-flushing bogs you get in Asia?? It's a football ground for god's sake!! If the facility functions, what's the problem? Man up and stop moaning!!
I agree. I say get rid of modern sewage technology altogether! Time to start throwing it back on to the streets in my opinion. Like we did in them good old days.
" I agree. I say get rid of modern sewage technology altogether! Time to start throwing it back on to the streets in my opinion. Like we did in them good old days."
Absolutely right Putney - of course as well to do Fulham fans we could revert to carrying gold or silver vinaigrette's emblazoned with the club logo . The Club shop could do a really good trade . Wizard idea !
Quote from: HV71 on March 31, 2026, 12:59:27 PM" I agree. I say get rid of modern sewage technology altogether! Time to start throwing it back on to the streets in my opinion. Like we did in them good old days."
Absolutely right Putney - of course as well to do Fulham fans we could revert to carrying gold or silver vinaigrette's emblazoned with the club logo . The Club shop could do a really good trade . Wizard idea !
I imagine it would do wonders for FFP. Maybe we will finally sign Lewis Dunk!
Quote from: _Putney_ on March 31, 2026, 02:22:31 PMQuote from: HV71 on March 31, 2026, 12:59:27 PM" I agree. I say get rid of modern sewage technology altogether! Time to start throwing it back on to the streets in my opinion. Like we did in them good old days."
Absolutely right Putney - of course as well to do Fulham fans we could revert to carrying gold or silver vinaigrette's emblazoned with the club logo . The Club shop could do a really good trade . Wizard idea !
I imagine it would do wonders for FFP. Maybe we will finally sign Lewis Dunk!
Exactly ! Vinaigrettes, Lewis Dunk , Tony Khan - lots of antiques , transfer window ,a last 30 minute rush to buy - the perfect episode of Bargain Hunt !
Quote from: HV71 on March 31, 2026, 12:59:27 PM" I agree. I say get rid of modern sewage technology altogether! Time to start throwing it back on to the streets in my opinion. Like we did in them good old days."
Absolutely right Putney - of course as well to do Fulham fans we could revert to carrying gold or silver vinaigrette's emblazoned with the club logo . The Club shop could do a really good trade . Wizard idea !
Vinaigrettes? Do you mean vignettes or perhaps lorgnettes? Parlez proper French mon ami innit!
Somebody clearly needs flushing down the Toilets, oops cancel that, I have just remembered the flush never works.
Vinaigrettes, popular from the late 18th century through the mid-19th century, were small containers used for holding various aromatic substances, usually dissolved in vinegar. A tiny piece of sponge, soaked in the liquid, was contained beneath a grill or perforated cover.
Tarquin has a wonderful collection
Quote from: HV71 on March 31, 2026, 06:51:56 PMVinaigrettes, popular from the late 18th century through the mid-19th century, were small containers used for holding various aromatic substances, usually dissolved in vinegar. A tiny piece of sponge, soaked in the liquid, was contained beneath a grill or perforated cover.
Tarquin has a wonderful collection
My Lord, I bow to your erudition. Your ever so 'umble Southcoastffc. ::thumb::
Quote from: Woolly Mammoth on March 14, 2026, 10:15:03 AMWhy did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom.
Quote from: cookieg on March 31, 2026, 08:17:38 AMQuote from: FFC007 on March 14, 2026, 11:52:14 AMQuote from: BestOfBrede on March 05, 2026, 09:31:07 PMSome men are just pigs and think it's fine to piss on the floor, rather than wait for a space, and others who get a space and for some weird reason aim their piss up, down, left right and splash other fans!
Complete morons who think they are cool!
Why would the club spend money on these animals?
And some even have a dump with the toilet bowl full of bog roll and water so it's overflowing.
Utterly grotesque.
It always amazes me that when I have to use a cubicle that the previous person has pi55ed on the seat rather than lift it up.
Yep.
Or someone has blocked it up with bog roll for the next person queuing.
Whay amazes me is we have ten pages on the toilets in the Hammersmith end???
Quote from: mrmicawbers on April 01, 2026, 08:14:43 PMWhay amazes me is we have ten pages on the toilets in the Hammersmith end???
And long may it continue! The bogs are a total disgrace in there and probably breach basic common decency and hygiene standards!
Quote from: FFC007 on April 01, 2026, 08:33:20 PMQuote from: mrmicawbers on April 01, 2026, 08:14:43 PMWhay amazes me is we have ten pages on the toilets in the Hammersmith end???
And long may it continue! The bogs are a total disgrace in there and probably breach basic common decency and hygiene standards!
It has been renamed the Excrement End, nobody uses Bog Rolls anymore, only Animal Skin, ask any Rabbit.
Perhpas we should employ a load of animals
Many animals eat feces—a behavior known as coprophagy—to extract leftover nutrients, vitamins, and gut bacteria. Common examples include rabbits, rodents (guinea pigs, hamsters), capybaras, and insects like dung beetles. Others include dogs, gorillas, and young elephants, often for nutrients or digestive health.
Here are key examples of animals that eat poop:
Rabbits and Hares: These animals eat specialized, soft feces called cecotropes to break down fibrous food, a process called cecotrophy, which is necessary for their survival.
Rodents (Guinea Pigs, Mice, Hamsters): Re-ingest feces to extract vitamins B and K, as well as nutrients missed in the first pass.
Capybaras: As the world's largest rodent, they eat their own poop in the morning to digest tough grasses.
Dogs: Often consume their own or other animals' poop (such as from cats or deer), which can be due to nutritional gaps or simply habit.
Insects (Dung Beetles, Flies): Rely almost entirely on feces for nutrition.
Baby Mammals (Elephants, Hippos, Pandas): Eat the feces of adults to acquire the necessary gut bacteria to digest vegetation, according to this Facebook post from the National Zoo.
Other Animals: Koalas, red foxes, chimpanzees, and gorillas have also been documented eating poop.
Why do they do it?
Nutritional Value: Feces often still contain significant protein and fiber.
Digestion Aids: Eating feces can help build gut bacteria needed to break down tough food.
Survival: In lean times, it provides an extra source of calories
No home game between 21 March and 25 April. Club could have hired a large gang of labourers, had the HE toilets demolished and replaced with something suitable for the 21st century with probably a few days to spare. Chance missed!
The HE hand driers are useless. Just thought I'd get that off my chest.
Quote from: Ludlow Richard on April 03, 2026, 01:07:06 PMNo home game between 21 March and 25 April. Club could have hired a large gang of labourers, had the HE toilets demolished and replaced with something suitable for the 21st century with probably a few days to spare. Chance missed!
The HE hand driers are useless. Just thought I'd get that off my chest.
Why is there a hand dryer on your chest ?
Quote from: Woolly Mammoth on April 03, 2026, 01:26:22 PMQuote from: Ludlow Richard on April 03, 2026, 01:07:06 PMNo home game between 21 March and 25 April. Club could have hired a large gang of labourers, had the HE toilets demolished and replaced with something suitable for the 21st century with probably a few days to spare. Chance missed!
The HE hand driers are useless. Just thought I'd get that off my chest.
Why is there a hand dryer on your chest ?
Must have a hairy chest
Quote from: Woolly Mammoth on April 04, 2026, 09:16:40 AMQuote from: mrmicawbers on April 01, 2026, 08:14:43 PMWhay amazes me is we have ten pages on the toilets in the Hammersmith end???
Because there is a likelihood that these ten pages will come in very handy in the absence of your standard toilet roll, which evidence has deduced that the club are currently out of stock.
Although I suspect only absent at the Excrement End.
The Riverside Stand no doubt has a profusion of the stuff in every corner.
Quote from: Woolly Mammoth on April 04, 2026, 09:23:45 AMQuote from: Woolly Mammoth on April 04, 2026, 09:16:40 AMQuote from: mrmicawbers on April 01, 2026, 08:14:43 PMWhay amazes me is we have ten pages on the toilets in the Hammersmith end???
Because there is a likelihood that these ten pages will come in very handy in the absence of your standard toilet roll, which evidence has deduced that the club are currently out of stock.
Although I suspect only absent at the Excrement End.
The Riverside Stand no doubt has a profusion of the stuff in every corner.
Only cashmere silky bog roll in the riverside!
Quote from: H4usuallysitting on March 06, 2026, 11:41:43 AMCrikey.... I'm getting serious.....the club could even make money out of new modular bog's....people might even pay for a brick (on the outside) with their name on it..... something like...H4 dumped here
They'd be an improvement!!
Quote from: mrmicawbers on April 01, 2026, 08:14:43 PMWhay amazes me is we have ten pages on the toilets in the Hammersmith end???
Is that all, blimey ime surprised it should be double that.
Quote from: FFC007 on April 27, 2026, 09:50:07 PMQuote from: H4usuallysitting on March 06, 2026, 11:41:43 AMCrikey.... I'm getting serious.....the club could even make money out of new modular bog's....people might even pay for a brick (on the outside) with their name on it..... something like...H4 dumped here
They'd be an improvement!!
Quote from: FFC007 on April 04, 2026, 11:25:40 AMQuote from: Woolly Mammoth on April 04, 2026, 09:23:45 AMQuote from: Woolly Mammoth on April 04, 2026, 09:16:40 AMQuote from: mrmicawbers on April 01, 2026, 08:14:43 PMWhay amazes me is we have ten pages on the toilets in the Hammersmith end???
Because there is a likelihood that these ten pages will come in very handy in the absence of your standard toilet roll, which evidence has deduced that the club are currently out of stock.
Although I suspect only absent at the Excrement End.
The Riverside Stand no doubt has a profusion of the stuff in every corner.
Only cashmere silky bog roll in the riverside!
A bit frustrating that the seats aren't heated though
I have to use the disabled toilet in the Hammersmith End. At the Villa game I got into the ground early, perhaps 15 minutes after the turnstiles opened. The disabled toilet was already blocked......
Quote from: Ludlow Richard on April 28, 2026, 05:50:06 PMI have to use the disabled toilet in the Hammersmith End. At the Villa game I got into the ground early, perhaps 15 minutes after the turnstiles opened. The disabled toilet was already blocked......
Must of been Villas squad in there before you.
they are well known for it.
Quote from: sunburywhite on April 03, 2026, 01:01:01 PMPerhpas we should employ a load of animals
Many animals eat feces—a behavior known as coprophagy—to extract leftover nutrients, vitamins, and gut bacteria. Common examples include rabbits, rodents (guinea pigs, hamsters), capybaras, and insects like dung beetles. Others include dogs, gorillas, and young elephants, often for nutrients or digestive health.
Here are key examples of animals that eat poop:
Rabbits and Hares: These animals eat specialized, soft feces called cecotropes to break down fibrous food, a process called cecotrophy, which is necessary for their survival.
Rodents (Guinea Pigs, Mice, Hamsters): Re-ingest feces to extract vitamins B and K, as well as nutrients missed in the first pass.
Capybaras: As the world's largest rodent, they eat their own poop in the morning to digest tough grasses.
Dogs: Often consume their own or other animals' poop (such as from cats or deer), which can be due to nutritional gaps or simply habit.
Insects (Dung Beetles, Flies): Rely almost entirely on feces for nutrition.
Baby Mammals (Elephants, Hippos, Pandas): Eat the feces of adults to acquire the necessary gut bacteria to digest vegetation, according to this Facebook post from the National Zoo.
Other Animals: Koalas, red foxes, chimpanzees, and gorillas have also been documented eating poop.
Why do they do it?
Nutritional Value: Feces often still contain significant protein and fiber.
Digestion Aids: Eating feces can help build gut bacteria needed to break down tough food.
Survival: In lean times, it provides an extra source of calories
Handy educational advice, although not part of my diet, and with your permission may I add to your list certain Sky Sports pundits who talk a load of it, and I include a certain EX presenter of Match of the Day.
Maybe we should do the same as the Atletico Madrid fans,
and throw toilet rolls onto the pitch pre kick off.
Only not in celebration but in protest. it looked very impressive.
Quote from: john dempsey on April 30, 2026, 09:41:05 AMMaybe we should do the same as the Atletico Madrid fans,
and throw toilet rolls onto the pitch pre kick off.
Only not in celebration but in protest. it looked very impressive.
Would be interesting getting bog rolls through the security checks. You could argue that the hammy end bogs don't have any decent wiping material though!
Quote from: FFC007 on April 30, 2026, 09:44:18 AMQuote from: john dempsey on April 30, 2026, 09:41:05 AMMaybe we should do the same as the Atletico Madrid fans,
and throw toilet rolls onto the pitch pre kick off.
Only not in celebration but in protest. it looked very impressive.
Would be interesting getting bog rolls through the security checks. You could argue that the hammy end bogs don't have any decent wiping material though!
As long as the toilet paper is unused i
can't see why there would be a problem.
Quote from: FFC007 on April 30, 2026, 09:44:18 AMQuote from: john dempsey on April 30, 2026, 09:41:05 AMMaybe we should do the same as the Atletico Madrid fans,
and throw toilet rolls onto the pitch pre kick off.
Only not in celebration but in protest. it looked very impressive.
Would be interesting getting bog rolls through the security checks. You could argue that the hammy end bogs don't have any decent wiping material though!
I once managed to get a roll of Lino
through security many years ago, but failed not
long after trying to gain access with a cheese roll.
My next attempt will be to try and get a roll in the hay through security.
Whether that is successful or not, my
Intention at a later date is to attempt to get a Steamer Roller through.
I heard plenty of complaints from AV fans (last Saturday) on the grim state of the loos in the Putney end. A bit rich if you have ever been to Aston in Birmingham. But says a lot about the decision making when you can construct a 21st century swimming pool on top of stand but leave the loos in a Victorian era age.
The bogs aside from the riverside need a full refurb....
Quote from: FFC007 on April 30, 2026, 05:09:29 PMThe bogs aside from the riverside need a full refurb....
With a Stick of Dynamite 🧨
Who'd have a season ticket in the hammy end using these derogatory bogs!
You should all get compensation for the state of them!
From the season ticket update:
Owing to the nature of our venue, there remain limitations for what can be achieved in some areas of the ground. However, the Club is actively exploring new initiatives surrounding food and drink offerings and service, as well as improvements to amenities where possible. The Club will share further details around these developments and commitment to any planned works in due course.
Quote from: SP on May 01, 2026, 08:47:20 PMFrom the season ticket update:
Owing to the nature of our venue, there remain limitations for what can be achieved in some areas of the ground. However, the Club is actively exploring new initiatives surrounding food and drink offerings and service, as well as improvements to amenities where possible. The Club will share further details around these developments and commitment to any planned works in due course.
In other words.... Pigs might fly!
Quote from: FFC007 on May 01, 2026, 08:46:53 PMWho'd have a season ticket in the hammy end using these derogatory bogs!
You should all get compensation for the state of them!
The club have promised to return my Lilo I left in the Pool at the Riverside Stand.
Quote from: FFC007 on May 01, 2026, 08:46:53 PMWho'd have a season ticket in the hammy end using these derogatory bogs!
Dung Beetles
Quote from: Woolly Mammoth on May 02, 2026, 11:41:10 AMQuote from: FFC007 on May 01, 2026, 08:46:53 PMWho'd have a season ticket in the hammy end using these derogatory bogs!
Dung Beetles
And other forms of rodentia.
According to TripAdvisor's Traveller Ranking of Arenas and Stadiums in the United Kingdom, Fulham's Craven Cottage is the best.
Quote from: Woolly Mammoth on May 03, 2026, 03:32:04 PMAccording to TripAdvisor's Traveller Ranking of Arenas and Stadiums in the United Kingdom, Fulham's Craven Cottage is the best.
What happened to the dung beetles?
Quote from: FFC007 on May 04, 2026, 05:49:24 PMQuote from: Woolly Mammoth on May 03, 2026, 03:32:04 PMAccording to TripAdvisor's Traveller Ranking of Arenas and Stadiums in the United Kingdom, Fulham's Craven Cottage is the best.
What happened to the dung beetles?
They were taken on a barge down the Thames to a
Men's Outfitters.
Whereupon they were kitted out with Camouflage Uniforms, and told you can hide, but you can't run.
Quote from: Woolly Mammoth on May 04, 2026, 07:56:26 PMQuote from: FFC007 on May 04, 2026, 05:49:24 PMQuote from: Woolly Mammoth on May 03, 2026, 03:32:04 PMAccording to TripAdvisor's Traveller Ranking of Arenas and Stadiums in the United Kingdom, Fulham's Craven Cottage is the best.
What happened to the dung beetles?
They were all handed camouflage outfits, and told you can hide, but you can't run.
Going in there you might get the runs.
Quote from: alfie on May 04, 2026, 08:02:01 PMQuote from: Woolly Mammoth on May 04, 2026, 07:56:26 PMQuote from: FFC007 on May 04, 2026, 05:49:24 PMQuote from: Woolly Mammoth on May 03, 2026, 03:32:04 PMAccording to TripAdvisor's Traveller Ranking of Arenas and Stadiums in the United Kingdom, Fulham's Craven Cottage is the best.
What happened to the dung beetles?
They were all handed camouflage outfits, and told you can hide, but you can't run.
Going in there you might get the runs.
And other infectious diseases.
I don't think I've ever seen a cleaner in those hammy bogs during match days. Compare that to the riverside ones which are usually sparkling clean, well maintained and have decent bog paper to use.
The only issue is the wayward queuing in the lobby which is like a maze to navigate.
Quote from: FFC007 on May 04, 2026, 05:49:24 PMQuote from: Woolly Mammoth on May 03, 2026, 03:32:04 PMAccording to TripAdvisor's Traveller Ranking of Arenas and Stadiums in the United Kingdom, Fulham's Craven Cottage is the best.
What happened to the dung beetles?
They were all handed camouflage outfits, and told you can hide, but you can't run.
Quote from: FFC007 on May 04, 2026, 08:32:25 PMQuote from: alfie on May 04, 2026, 08:02:01 PMQuote from: Woolly Mammoth on May 04, 2026, 07:56:26 PMQuote from: FFC007 on May 04, 2026, 05:49:24 PMQuote from: Woolly Mammoth on May 03, 2026, 03:32:04 PMAccording to TripAdvisor's Traveller Ranking of Arenas and Stadiums in the United Kingdom, Fulham's Craven Cottage is the best.
What happened to the dung beetles?
They were all handed camouflage outfits, and told you can hide, but you can't run.
Going in there you might get the runs.
And other infectious diseases.
I don't think I've ever seen a cleaner in those hammy bogs during match days. Compare that to the riverside ones which are usually sparkling clean, well maintained and have decent bog paper to use.
The only issue is the wayward queuing in the lobby which is like a maze to navigate.
Quote from: FFC007 on May 04, 2026, 08:32:25 PMQuote from: alfie on May 04, 2026, 08:02:01 PMQuote from: Woolly Mammoth on May 04, 2026, 07:56:26 PMQuote from: FFC007 on May 04, 2026, 05:49:24 PMQuote from: Woolly Mammoth on May 03, 2026, 03:32:04 PMAccording to TripAdvisor's Traveller Ranking of Arenas and Stadiums in the United Kingdom, Fulham's Craven Cottage is the best.
What happened to the dung beetles?
They were all handed camouflage outfits, and told you can hide, but you can't run.
Going in there you might get the runs.
And other infectious diseases.
I don't think I've ever seen a cleaner in those hammy bogs during match days. Compare that to the riverside ones which are usually sparkling clean, well maintained and have decent bog paper to use.
The only issue is the wayward queuing in the lobby which is like a maze to navigate.
There are no living cleaners left, they have all gone to the great Dung Heap in the Sky.
The only ex cleaner left in living memory, now has to live in a house made of Carbolic Soap under armed guard. Whereupon it is Located at Dung Hill where other brave souls are laid to rest.
Further more he is also condemned to suffering from Dysentery and Beriberi.
Due to the effects it had on his health and well being.
In the meantime he has spent his spare time breeding Ant Eaters and Sloths plus writing a book which is a best seller titled " How to have a Dump at the Excrement End and Live to tell the Tale. "
On page one he advises to dump the Bog Rolls and use the Dead Sea Scrolls and other Parchments.
Although he did say in extreme cases to use a Wire Brush dipped in Paint Remover.
As a last resort a Flame Thrower is advised.
This cleaner is seriously considering attending night classes to enable him to go on a crash course to learn how to have a Dump standing up fully clothed at the Hammersmith End undetected, whilst standing on his seat.
There is also a similar course for non footballing clientele by doing similar whilst waiting at a bus stop, and there are advanced courses of the same whilst walking across a Zebra Crossing in Oxford Street, but only with the agreement of the Zebra.
The only other way round this is to bring your own Camel to Craven Cottage and then you can blame him for evacuating his bowels for any mess you may leave behind supplied by your own behind.
On match days he runs a consultancy he named Diahoreah which is free of charge to all victims and casualties of these world famous bogs by welcoming you to his surgery providing you wear a suit of Armour and have had a Tetanus Injection within the last 6 months.
Quote from: SP on May 01, 2026, 08:47:20 PMFrom the season ticket update:
Owing to the nature of our venue, there remain limitations for what can be achieved in some areas of the ground. However, the Club is actively exploring new initiatives surrounding food and drink offerings and service, as well as improvements to amenities where possible. The Club will share further details around these developments and commitment to any planned works in due course.
In "Due Course" I ask myself.
Where have I heard that phrase before.
In other words don't hold your breath, ( unless you're entering the Excrement End ).
I look forward to the pics on social media later when all the bogs are blocked and overflowing 💩💩💩💩💩💩
Quote from: Woolly Mammoth on April 30, 2026, 02:23:55 PMQuote from: FFC007 on April 30, 2026, 09:44:18 AMQuote from: john dempsey on April 30, 2026, 09:41:05 AMMaybe we should do the same as the Atletico Madrid fans,
and throw toilet rolls onto the pitch pre kick off.
Only not in celebration but in protest. it looked very impressive.
Would be interesting getting bog rolls through the security checks. You could argue that the hammy end bogs don't have any decent wiping material though!
I once managed to get a roll of Lino
through security many years ago, but failed not
long after trying to gain access with a cheese roll.
My next attempt will be to try and get a roll in the hay through security.
Whether that is successful or not, my
Intention at a later date is to attempt to get a Steamer Roller through.
Or a forklift?
Quote from: Adelaide 20 on April 30, 2026, 03:58:49 PMI heard plenty of complaints from AV fans (last Saturday) on the grim state of the loos in the Putney end. A bit rich if you have ever been to Aston in Birmingham. But says a lot about the decision making when you can construct a 21st century swimming pool on top of stand but leave the loos in a Victorian era age.
Quite agree with comparison of the hammy bogs with the state of the art swimming pool.....particularly when the cost of bog renewal looks modest compared with the players' weekly wage bill.
Clearly again a case of "Welcome moneyed tourists" versus "Regular supporters - know your place".