Picayune Tuesday Rules

[Lighthouse]

Football is a simple game. A ball and two goals and a playing area. The rules were simple once too. Now however they have become complicated by needless intrusions from faceless bureaucrats who have nothing better to do than make life complicated.

Our two simple little signings on loan brought up several questions. Can they play for three clubs in a season, can they play in the Europa and can they play full stop? The rules are clear for once and are worth perusing.

Europa League

If a player has in the first part played or set foot on the field in the colours of a team it is considered that he has drunk from the well of Morphias and shall be unable to play for any other team unless the sacrifice of a virgin be rendered unto the Gods.

(Note -  This is fairly clear and so I think it is virgin on the ridiculous to comment further)

Two Club Rule


If a player has played for a club and and he has not known the blade of Mighty Brooking severed slash of pain he will only be allowed to play for a third club if it is from the Oak of the Mighty Spam tree. Forged in the caverns of More Doe in the Forests of Pocketful.

(Note- SO MY UNDERSTANDING IS NEITHER Shorey or Okakakak will be able to play until next Summers Eve under the Full Moon of Terry. Hope this at least makes things clearer to us all)

[The Doctor]

As clear as mud, Mr Ligthouse.  But still clearer than UEFA and the FA like to make things!

[The Equalizer]

There definitely has this sense of something otherworldly in the rules of football. I think Sepp "Hellfire Club" Blatter and Michel "Aleister Crowley" Platini are trying their very darndest to resurrect the spirit of Cthulu at the detriment of every football supporter in the world, whilst still lining their own pockets.