Friday joke time

[Burt]

From the Edinburgh fringe:

"Working at the job centre has to be a tense job - knowing that if you get fired, you still have to come in the next day" - Adam Rowe

"I've got a new job collecting all the jumpers left in the park at the weekends but it's not easy. They keep moving the goalposts" - Darren Walsh

"I had a job drilling holes for water - it was well boring" - Leo Kearse

"I took out a loan to pay for an exorcism. If I don't pay it back, I'm going to get repossessed" - Olaf Falafel

[toshes mate]

"I like to imagine the guy who invented the umbrella was going to call it the 'brella'. But he hesitated" - Andy Field

"A friend tricked me into going to Wimbledon by telling me it was a men's singles event" - Angela Barnes

"I went to a pub quiz in Liverpool, had a few drinks so wasn't much use. Just for a laugh I wrote The Beatles or Steven Gerrard for every answer ... came second."  - Will Duggan

[Andy S]

Mother superior was having a relaxing bath when a novice nun knocked on the door "Mother Superior there is a blind man to see you" well if he's blind he won't see me thinks the mother "Show him in Sister" she calls back. The blind man comes in and says "where do you want the blind lady"........

[Mince n Tatties]

Very good them all.😁

[Woolly Mammoth]

What was the best thing before sliced bread ?

[Woolly Mammoth]

I saw this TV in a shop window for sale, for only one pound, but volume stuck on high.
I thought, I can't turn that down.