NFR - Fernando Torres Jokes.

[Luke]

Fernando Torres walks into a bar and says, "I'll have a couple of shots, please."
The barman says, "That's not like you."

What's the difference between Fernando Torres and Wayne Bridge?
John Terry appreciates Wayne Bridge's misses.

Fernando Torres goes to the library and asks for a book on the net.
Librarian says, "It's 12 yards in front of you."
90 minutes later Torres comes back and says, "I can't find it."

Sent Fernando Torres a nice tweet today to cheer him up, he hasn't replied though, probably missed it.   

I heard that Fernando Torres was due to appear in the new tv programme "made in Chelsea" but apparently he missed the first 3 months of shooting.

Interview with West Ham personnel.
Q. At what stage did you know you were down?
A. When Torres scored against us.

:drums:

[The King]

Is that Not Funny Rated jokes?

[Fletchino]

Have you heard the next mr men book will be based of fernando Torres.
It will be called mr sitter

[MrFantastic]

50 million pounds to get him 6 million pounds yearly salary the joke is on chealse and abramovich there

[Fletchino]

It would be interesting to find out in a year or 2 when torres has moved on the combined loss on Torres and shevchenko I wonder if it tops £100 million

[The Doctor]

What's the difference between Torres' hair and his Chelsea career?

His hair has highlights

[zzamora]

That torres tweet joke is actually from my sickipedia account!

Its from the zzamora account, and thats mine   098.gif

[Logicalman]

Whenever I see this prat, I still recall the infamous story from just two seasons ago .......


Fernando Torres: I will not join Manchester City because I want my daughter to have a Scouse accent, la


Fernando Torres has dismissed the idea of a mega-money move to Manchester City - because he wants his family to grow up as Scousers.

The Spanish striker insisted yesterday that he feels as though he was almost born and bred on Merseyside, after settling in so well at the Anfield club.

And with City making strong noises about a record-breaking attempt to sign him, the striker dismissed the idea because he wants his children to grow up with Liverpool in their blood.

There has even been talk of a £75million bid to match the world record fee Real Madrid paid for Cristiano Ronaldo, but Torres insisted yesterday that any English club is wasting their time in trying to lure him away from Liverpool.

His baby daughter Nora was born earlier this year, and he revealed that he wants her to grow up with a Scouse accent.

"I really feel at home here. From the first day I came I have felt that Anfield is my home - I feel like I am from Liverpool, and I want that for my family too," he said.

"I hope to be here for a long time and if my daughter speaks English and Scouse, I will be proud. For me, Anfield is the best place in England.

"This is my home, and it helps that I have learned the language. Have I picked up any Scouse? Deffo! I am picking up words all the time."

Torres is is now in his third season with Liverpool and is well on the way to becoming an Anfield legend after an impressive 48 league goals in just 67 appearances.

He needs two more to shatter the record for the quickest half century of goals in the club's history - held jointly by Sam Raybould and Albert Stubbins - and if he gets it in the next 12 matches then he will beat their mark by a staggering 30 games.

Yet even though he feels so at home and the fans idolise him as one of the greatest the club has ever seen, he insisted that he will only feel he has truly arrived at Liverpool when he wins a trophy for the club.

"The fans have seen some of the best players in the world playing for Liverpool, and now they sing my name, which is incredible for me, just incredible," he said.

"It's amazing to score at Anfield and amazing to score in front of the Kop. When I hear people sing my name it's the best feeling I can have on the pitch.

"But really, I would like to be remembered as a player who won things for Liverpool. I have plenty of years here, I am sure about that, and I hope the trophies will come soon.

"I have only been here two years, and not won anything yet, only scored some goals. But I hope in a few years I can write another book, explaining about the trophies I have won at Liverpool."






.... I guess he was looking forward to the first time she brought home a set of wheel trims as well!!!!!!

[Mitch]

I have a link with a bodyguard of Abramovich and I've been told the actual fee for Torres was nearer £35 million with the rest in add on's up to around £45 million. So the loss won't be quite as bad, but still - £35 million!

It does however make Andy Carroll look an even worse purchase.