NFR: Brits abroad

[CorkedHat]

I was in a bar in Paris and at the next table was a Yorkshireman who was becoming agitated because he couldn't speak French to make the waiter understand that he wanted a splash of lime in his lager. The more he tried to explain, the less the waiter understood. In the end I thought the Englishman was going to have an apoplexy, so I helpfully told the waiter in French what the bloke wanted.
The waiter came over to our table and said quietly in an Essex accent, "Yeah I know what the silly old bastard wants, but I thought I'd wind him up."

[YankeeJim]

I was in a bar in Paris and at the next table was a Yorkshireman who was becoming agitated because he couldn't speak French to make the waiter understand that he wanted a splash of lime in his lager. The more he tried to explain, the less the waiter understood. In the end I thought the Englishman was going to have an apoplexy, so I helpfully told the waiter in French what the bloke wanted.
The waiter came over to our table and said quietly in an Essex accent, "Yeah I know what the silly old bastard wants, but I thought I'd wind him up."

Mr. Hat, wonderful to see you posting. Hope all is well. Will we get a Christmas poem this year?

[CorkedHat]

Good Day Mr Jim
I am exceedingly well thank you. I don't know about a Christmas Poem this year. For a start there are far too many people on FOF these days and in my dotage I always manage to offend someone by omitting them. Secondly I am all written out – I have had two books published in the past three months, and I have been commissioned to write another which has a deadline of June next year. However, I shall see how I go.

[YankeeJim]

Good Day Mr Jim
I am exceedingly well thank you. I don't know about a Christmas Poem this year. For a start there are far too many people on FOF these days and in my dotage I always manage to offend someone by omitting them. Secondly I am all written out – I have had two books published in the past three months, and I have been commissioned to write another which has a deadline of June next year. However, I shall see how I go.

I do understand that you artist types are sensitive to criticism. I apologize for complaining that you left me out 4 or 5 years ago. LOL
BTW, be sure to let us know the title of the new venture when the time is right, I really enjoyed Shadows of s Winter Sun. Excellent read.

[Lighthouse]

I was lucky enough to go to Italy when the cheap package holidays started in the late 60s. As a kid I was wide eyed with excitement going around Pompeii and Vesuvius. But the folks from Manchester kept complaining about how dusty it all was.

Crossing towards the plane and leaving it was like a free for all fight. Then at the end of the holiday people left the plane in Manchester in shorts, sandals and t shirts and complained they should have been informed before they left Italy, just how cold it was going to be in England.

As an eight year old I despaired at some of the adults.

[Vinnieffc]

I was in a bar in Paris and at the next table was a Yorkshireman who was becoming agitated because he couldn't speak French to make the waiter understand that he wanted a splash of lime in his lager. The more he tried to explain, the less the waiter understood. In the end I thought the Englishman was going to have an apoplexy, so I helpfully told the waiter in French what the bloke wanted.
The waiter came over to our table and said quietly in an Essex accent, "Yeah I know what the silly old bastard wants, but I thought I'd wind him up."

I had a similar experience when I was about 18 and I was transferred to Berlin for a temp work experience by the company I worked for. I checked into a hotel and in my best O-Level German asked for a single room with a shower. The receptionist retorted with a flood of German that totally bamboozled me. In my desperation, I came out with the safety net of "Sprechen Sie Englisch ?" He replied "Yeah mate, I'm from Bermondsey but you were doing so well I didn't want to interrupt".

[Logicalman]

I was lucky enough to go to Italy when the cheap package holidays started in the late 60s. As a kid I was wide eyed with excitement going around Pompeii and Vesuvius. But the folks from Manchester kept complaining about how dusty it all was.

Crossing towards the plane and leaving it was like a free for all fight. Then at the end of the holiday people left the plane in Manchester in shorts, sandals and t shirts and complained they should have been informed before they left Italy, just how cold it was going to be in England.

As an eight year old I despaired at some of the adults.

Just goes to show Mr LH, thinks never really change, and people even less, even over a half-Century!!!

[MasterHaynes]

while staying in a hotel in Venice each night an english family dined next to us and regularly complained about the choices at the self serve italian food buffet. We came down one night and the father greeted us with 'its good english food tonight at last' the english food was ...Pizza.

[King_Crud]

I was in a bar in Paris and at the next table was a Yorkshireman who was becoming agitated because he couldn't speak French to make the waiter understand that he wanted a splash of lime in his lager. The more he tried to explain, the less the waiter understood. In the end I thought the Englishman was going to have an apoplexy, so I helpfully told the waiter in French what the bloke wanted.
The waiter came over to our table and said quietly in an Essex accent, "Yeah I know what the silly old bastard wants, but I thought I'd wind him up."

I was at a karaoke bar in Paris a few years ago. I overheard an Australian talking at the next table (I'm originally from Australia) so I said hello and made a bit of small chat. The guy turned out to be a complete bogan boofhead who should never be allowed to leave "The Greatest Country In the World". I stopped talking to him when he complained that no one was singing in English, everyone kept singing in French.

We were in Paris. In France. Where they speak French.

[dgnffc]

On a similar theme, we were on holiday in Tuscany and the only other family staying in this small hotel were British Asians. The food was all home-cooked lovely local dishes, but the husband insisted on having chillies he'd brought out with him with every meal, before even tasting it.

[Logicalman]

On the subject of food, I have to say I still haven't managed to get used to the 'Southern' way of cooking yet. Everything fried of all things. The fried turkey wasn't as bad as I thought it might be, a little crispy by edible, but some of the other fried items just don't stay down well.

Perhaps I need to go another 300 miles south and get heavily into the Cajun stuff.

[rogerpbackinMidEastUS]

No disrespect but many Americans are absolutetly useless at geography.
I think it's the weekest of all their 'curiculum subjects'.

Althought they know a load about Downton Abbey

Someone asked me if France is the capital of Paris.

I heard someone on the radio the other day (the extremely annoying, entertaining and worldly Sandy Rios and Tea party member) said "The group of countries known as The Netherlands........"
She followed that by saying. "My husband and I were in London a few weeks ago and arrived late at our hotel. The restaurant was shut and the manager arranged for us to get something to eat. It was awful, mind you you'd have to search a long way in England to get decent food"   Perhaps she meant a burger, hot dog, fatty ribs, bologna or macaroni and cheese.
Those old enough to remember the Beirut bombings, something like 95% of American tourists cancelled their trips to London because Beirut was to close to London.
About as close as Miami to Seattle.

Other than that (which is only a minor point and makes me chuckle) I like it here.

[dgnffc]

I was once in a cab from O'hare to downtown Chicago and the driver says to me "You're from Europe, right?"

"Yes" I replied

"Can you tell me is France the capital of Germany or Germany the capital of France?"

:58:

[cottage cheese]

No disrespect but many Americans are absolutetly useless at geography.
I think it's the weekest of all their 'curiculum subjects'.

Althought they know a load about Downton Abbey

Someone asked me if France is the capital of Paris.

I heard someone on the radio the other day (the extremely annoying, entertaining and worldly Sandy Rios and Tea party member) said "The group of countries known as The Netherlands........"
She followed that by saying. "My husband and I were in London a few weeks ago and arrived late at our hotel. The restaurant was shut and the manager arranged for us to get something to eat. It was awful, mind you you'd have to search a long way in England to get decent food"   Perhaps she meant a burger, hot dog, fatty ribs, bologna or macaroni and cheese.
Those old enough to remember the Beirut bombings, something like 95% of American tourists cancelled their trips to London because Beirut was to close to London.
About as close as Miami to Seattle.

Other than that (which is only a minor point and makes me chuckle) I like it here.

Trust me you have not seen the worst of it. I went to Vietnam over the summer and was shocked by how little most Americans aged roughly between 21-26 had no idea of the world outside of America. One instant which will remain with me to the grave was meeting some children who had been born with disabilities due to Agent Orange and most of the Americans in the group thought  that the Americans went into Vietnam to help prevent the Chinese from dropping Napalm etc....I am not kidding here and nor were they. I dont think my jaw has ever dropped so low when in a conversation.

What were they taught at school????

[YankeeJim]

No disrespect but many Americans are absolutetly useless at geography.
I think it's the weekest of all their 'curiculum subjects'.

Althought they know a load about Downton Abbey

Someone asked me if France is the capital of Paris.

I heard someone on the radio the other day (the extremely annoying, entertaining and worldly Sandy Rios and Tea party member) said "The group of countries known as The Netherlands........"
She followed that by saying. "My husband and I were in London a few weeks ago and arrived late at our hotel. The restaurant was shut and the manager arranged for us to get something to eat. It was awful, mind you you'd have to search a long way in England to get decent food"   Perhaps she meant a burger, hot dog, fatty ribs, bologna or macaroni and cheese.
Those old enough to remember the Beirut bombings, something like 95% of American tourists cancelled their trips to London because Beirut was to close to London.
About as close as Miami to Seattle.

Other than that (which is only a minor point and makes me chuckle) I like it here.

Trust me you have not seen the worst of it. I went to Vietnam over the summer and was shocked by how little most Americans aged roughly between 21-26 had no idea of the world outside of America. One instant which will remain with me to the grave was meeting some children who had been born with disabilities due to Agent Orange and most of the Americans in the group thought  that the Americans went into Vietnam to help prevent the Chinese from dropping Napalm etc....I am not kidding here and nor were they. I dont think my jaw has ever dropped so low when in a conversation.

What were they taught at school????

Trouble is they aren't taught anything at school. You have to keep them dumb if you expect them to vote for leftism.
Vietnam IS a naturally beautiful country, is it not?

[Forever Fulham]

No disrespect but many Americans are absolutetly useless at geography.
I think it's the weekest of all their 'curiculum subjects'.

Althought they know a load about Downton Abbey

Someone asked me if France is the capital of Paris.

I heard someone on the radio the other day (the extremely annoying, entertaining and worldly Sandy Rios and Tea party member) said "The group of countries known as The Netherlands........"
She followed that by saying. "My husband and I were in London a few weeks ago and arrived late at our hotel. The restaurant was shut and the manager arranged for us to get something to eat. It was awful, mind you you'd have to search a long way in England to get decent food"   Perhaps she meant a burger, hot dog, fatty ribs, bologna or macaroni and cheese.
Those old enough to remember the Beirut bombings, something like 95% of American tourists cancelled their trips to London because Beirut was to close to London.
About as close as Miami to Seattle.

Other than that (which is only a minor point and makes me chuckle) I like it here.

Trust me you have not seen the worst of it. I went to Vietnam over the summer and was shocked by how little most Americans aged roughly between 21-26 had no idea of the world outside of America. One instant which will remain with me to the grave was meeting some children who had been born with disabilities due to Agent Orange and most of the Americans in the group thought  that the Americans went into Vietnam to help prevent the Chinese from dropping Napalm etc....I am not kidding here and nor were they. I dont think my jaw has ever dropped so low when in a conversation.

What were they taught at school????

Trouble is they aren't taught anything at school. You have to keep them dumb if you expect them to vote for leftism.
Vietnam IS a naturally beautiful country, is it not?

Let's not inject political beliefs into the discussion.  It will surely piss off at least half of the board.