Author Topic: NFR Joke but may cause offence to Old Ladies Condom Makers Humpy Animals  (Read 2299 times)

Offline Peabody

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Jane and Arlene are outside their nursing home, having a drink and
a smoke, when it starts to rain. Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the
end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.

Arlene: What in the hell is that?

Jane: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.

Arlene: Where did you get it?

Jane: You can get them at any pharmacy.

The next day, Arlene hobbles herself into the local pharmacy and
announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.

The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely
(she is, after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what
brand of condom she prefers.

'Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel.'
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
« Last Edit: October 02, 2014, 05:55:58 PM by Peabody »

Offline love4ffc

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Re: NFR Joke but may cause offence to Old Ladies Condom Makers Humpy Animals
« Reply #1 on: October 02, 2014, 07:40:39 PM »
 064.gif Good one Mr. P.  Can't believe I am the first one to post saying so.  I can see now a whole new marketing angle for condom manufactures.   

Don't worry folks about your fags getting wet.  Just use the condom of choice for the Marlboro Man! 

Oh dear...I used the word fag.  I'm sure I'll get some stick for that.   

Offline blingo

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Re: NFR Joke but may cause offence to Old Ladies Condom Makers Humpy Animals
« Reply #2 on: October 02, 2014, 08:04:02 PM »
made me lol MrP. :))


Offline rogerpnowinFlorida

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Re: NFR Joke but may cause offence to Old Ladies Condom Makers Humpy Animals
« Reply #3 on: October 02, 2014, 08:36:35 PM »
Excuse me, I have to take offence at this thread.

I am an old dromedary in Whipsnade Zoo and can assure you that I have never used a condom.
We are shot up with some stuff that makes me flaccid constantly and
beside there is only one female In here and in the words of the soldier in the
French Foreign Legion joke "I wouldn't rush into town to cop for her"
 I would never have allowed an 80 year old woman put it on me either.
And what right has a pharmacist got to look at an old lady strangely

And why you have used the names Jane and Arlene is also objectionable.
They are by extreme coincidence, hyenas in the next cage and neither of
them smoke or drink, but when I told them about your thread they burst into
uncontrollable laughter.

I also object to love4ffc's use of the word 'fag' as he expected

A very objectionable post and in bad taste all round

Offline domprague

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Re: NFR Joke but may cause offence to Old Ladies Condom Makers Humpy Animals
« Reply #4 on: October 02, 2014, 08:40:58 PM »
That was funnier than the joke, which was also pretty funny.

Excuse me, I have to take offence at this thread.

I am an old dromedary in Whipsnade Zoo and can assure you that I have never used a condom.
We are shot up with some stuff that makes me flaccid constantly and
beside there is only one female In here and in the words of the soldier in the
French Foreign Legion joke "I wouldn't rush into town to cop for her"
 I would never have allowed an 80 year old woman put it on me either.
And what right has a pharmacist got to look at an old lady strangely

And why you have used the names Jane and Arlene is also objectionable.
They are by extreme coincidence, hyenas in the next cage and neither of
them smoke or drink, but when I told them about your thread they burst into
uncontrollable laughter.

I also object to love4ffc's use of the word 'fag' as he expected

A very objectionable post and in bad taste all round

Offline love4ffc

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Re: NFR Joke but may cause offence to Old Ladies Condom Makers Humpy Animals
« Reply #5 on: October 03, 2014, 12:13:47 AM »
Figures that Roger would object to this post and my use of the word "Fag".  You need to get off your high horse there old man and leave descent folk alone.  

Edit - forget to mispel a coupe of wrods. 


Offline rogerpnowinFlorida

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Re: NFR Joke but may cause offence to Old Ladies Condom Makers Humpy Animals
« Reply #6 on: October 03, 2014, 12:29:23 AM »
Figures that Roger would object to this post and my use of the word "Fag".  You need to get off your high horse there old man and leave descent folk alone. 

Edit - forget to mispel a coupe of wrods. 


No, I was objecting to the reference to fags.
In the old days, and perhaps even now at some of the more exclusive boarding schools
The senior boys had fags.
 These were younger boys, probably first year who were the
'lackeys' and 'gophers' of the older boys. 
Generally each senior had a junior fag who was at his beck and call, nothing particularly
sinister, normally.
They're mentioned in some Dickens novels and books like Tom Browns School Days and
some TV series about 'snob schools'

So there.
I gave up fags 3 years ago this month. From 60-70 a day to zero.

Offline Logicalman

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Re: NFR Joke but may cause offence to Old Ladies Condom Makers Humpy Animals
« Reply #7 on: October 03, 2014, 12:47:13 AM »
Figures that Roger would object to this post and my use of the word "Fag".  You need to get off your high horse there old man and leave descent folk alone. 

Edit - forget to mispel a coupe of wrods. 


No, I was objecting to the reference to fags.
In the old days, and perhaps even now at some of the more exclusive boarding schools
The senior boys had fags.
 These were younger boys, probably first year who were the
'lackeys' and 'gophers' of the older boys. 
Generally each senior had a junior fag who was at his beck and call, nothing particularly
sinister, normally.
They're mentioned in some Dickens novels and books like Tom Browns School Days and
some TV series about 'snob schools'

So there.
I gave up fags 3 years ago this month. From 60-70 a day to zero.

Yeah, they say giving up booze and smokes help you live longer - patently untrue of course, it just seems so!!

Offline love4ffc

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Re: NFR Joke but may cause offence to Old Ladies Condom Makers Humpy Animals
« Reply #8 on: October 03, 2014, 06:10:34 PM »
gave up the smoke when my daughter was born.  Still have cravings every now and then.  Don't know if I could give up the booze as it is the only things keeping me.......................


Offline Berserker

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Re:
« Reply #9 on: October 03, 2014, 06:11:42 PM »
Chocolate in my case, oh and tea

Offline YankeeJim

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Re: NFR Joke but may cause offence to Old Ladies Condom Makers Humpy Animals
« Reply #10 on: October 03, 2014, 06:15:34 PM »
Excuse me, I have to take offence at this thread.

I am an old dromedary in Whipsnade Zoo and can assure you that I have never used a condom.
We are shot up with some stuff that makes me flaccid constantly and
beside there is only one female In here and in the words of the soldier in the
French Foreign Legion joke "I wouldn't rush into town to cop for her"
 I would never have allowed an 80 year old woman put it on me either.
And what right has a pharmacist got to look at an old lady strangely

And why you have used the names Jane and Arlene is also objectionable.
They are by extreme coincidence, hyenas in the next cage and neither of
them smoke or drink, but when I told them about your thread they burst into
uncontrollable laughter.

I also object to love4ffc's use of the word 'fag' as he expected

A very objectionable post and in bad taste all round


It appears that you have run out of the Valium I gave you in Jacksonville.
Glad to see you back in form.     082.gif

Offline love4ffc

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Re: NFR Joke but may cause offence to Old Ladies Condom Makers Humpy Animals
« Reply #11 on: October 03, 2014, 06:15:48 PM »
Ahh...see the joy you bring Mr. P. with your jokes.  What a grand discussion this is and we have the wit of Roger to boot.  


Offline Logicalman

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Re: NFR Joke but may cause offence to Old Ladies Condom Makers Humpy Animals
« Reply #12 on: October 04, 2014, 02:41:10 AM »
Ahh...see the joy you bring Mr. P. with your jokes.  What a grand discussion this is and we have the wit of Roger to boot.  

You just cannot keep going round booting Rogers wit, don't you now?

Offline andersons11

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Re: NFR Joke but may cause offence to Old Ladies Condom Makers Humpy Animals
« Reply #13 on: October 06, 2014, 12:52:48 PM »
Ahh...see the joy you bring Mr. P. with your jokes.  What a grand discussion this is and we have the wit of Roger to boot. 
I think hes implying we would rather play route one football with Roger's wit.
You just cannot keep going round booting Rogers wit, don't you now?

Offline YankeeJim

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Re: NFR Joke but may cause offence to Old Ladies Condom Makers Humpy Animals
« Reply #14 on: October 07, 2014, 06:35:49 PM »
Ahh...see the joy you bring Mr. P. with your jokes.  What a grand discussion this is and we have the wit of Roger to boot.  

You just cannot keep going round booting Rogers wit, don't you now?


Truth be told, I just trying to incite him. He is so funny when motivated.   082.gif