News:

Use a VPN to stream games Safely and Securely 🔒
A Virtual Private Network can also allow you to
watch games Not being broadcast in the UK For
more Information and how to Sign Up go to
https://go.nordvpn.net/SH4FE

Main Menu


The Youngsters

Started by Wearethewhites, October 10, 2015, 10:49:45 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

alfie

Quote from: Asotosyios on October 11, 2015, 03:39:24 PM
Quote from: Lighthouse on October 11, 2015, 11:19:01 AM
Quote from: Woolly Mammoth on October 11, 2015, 01:40:24 AM
Quote from: Lighthouse on October 10, 2015, 11:32:30 PM
If he was good enough he would have played more. Playing the youngsters didn't work and sadly as we were relegated and gave them a chance. Some succeeded and some didn't. Given more time I am sure they will come good. But at clubs like Fulham we can't mess about waiting for players to come good. I am still waiting for Dembele to move up and be consistent.

Astonishing. That you are quick to state that we cannot mess around waiting for youngsters to come good, bearing in mind that some of them are good prospects, and yet to bang on about giving the Fulham manager more time, despite showing and proving that he is a poor prospect and is delaying and damaging Fulhams chances to progress. I would say that is Double Standards of the highest order, and you have decided that without impartiality. In other words you are stating that Fulham haven't got time to wait for youngsters to come through. Yet the Manager can have far more time to continue to carry on his incompetence.
I find that difficult to comprehend.
Some people may even say that's hypocrisy.  You cannot have it both ways. If you genuinely want Fulham to progress at a reasonable decent pace, that's called ambition and having aspirations,  as opposed to dragging our feet which will get the club nowhere, as the club will be stranded in the second tier or below Indefinitely. That could be called apathy and lethargic.



:005: Goodness settle down. Your hatred for our manager seems to be clouding every opinion in every post. He will be gone soon enough. Then you will be able to hate something else.  Now try and concentrate on what the thread is about without this hatred and bile spilling over.

A club like ours cannot spend ages nurturing the youngsters as we once did.
Seems we have done very well in bringing youngsters through the fact that some of them are not going to make it is a fact of life. Now you hate Symons, yes I understand that.



I am afraid I cannot agree with that - this is exactly what clubs like Fulham should be doing: nurturing young players. We will never be able to compete financially with the "big" clubs, so building a strong academy should be one of our priorities. That could work by both bringing some players up for the first team and selling others for a nice profit like we did with Roberts.

If you mean that we cannot do that because our only target should be to get back to the Premier League, I would argue that we should/could do both if we find the right balance. Obviously, you cannot bring 10 kids up from the U21 and then claim that promotion is your target. But if you have a core of veteran or more experienced players, you can gradually introduce 2-3 youngsters in the team depending on their quality. At the same time, you should loan out others that you judge they are too good for U21 football but not quite there for Championship football.

In Hyndman's case, he was brought up last year by Maggatt and was pretty impressive or very good in most of the games he played. I was positively surprised as I was not aware of him and expected to see even more. He did feature 5 times under Kit with 11 more on the bench before we went away for the World Cup and then got injured. One would expect that he would be around the team this year and get more chances to play. He's behind Parker, Christensen and Tunnicliffe on the depth chart at the end of last season and then the club adds O'Hara and Mattila in central midfield and also Cairney and Pringle that can play as CM even though they are being used as wingers. Where does this leave Hyndman then? Probably in U21 for another year, as he has only seen the pitch for 8 minutes against Stoke so far this season.

If the club thought that he is good enough for this level, they should have given him more chances this season. As I said before, this doesn't necessarily mean a guarantee place in the first eleven, but to be more involved with the first team. Or if they thought that he is close, but not yet there they should sit down with him and his agents and explain that and try to get a new deal done and send him on loan to a League 1 team. But when nothing happens and he just continues playing for the U21, I cannot really blame him when he says he wants to move somewhere else where he will get more playing time.
I like what you have said, but do you know for a fact that the club have not spoken with him and told him what their position is?
Story of my life
"I was looking back to see if she was looking back to see if i was looking back at her"
Sadly she wasn't

Asotosyios

Quote from: alfie on October 12, 2015, 11:21:17 AM
Quote from: Asotosyios on October 11, 2015, 03:39:24 PM
Quote from: Lighthouse on October 11, 2015, 11:19:01 AM
Quote from: Woolly Mammoth on October 11, 2015, 01:40:24 AM
Quote from: Lighthouse on October 10, 2015, 11:32:30 PM
If he was good enough he would have played more. Playing the youngsters didn't work and sadly as we were relegated and gave them a chance. Some succeeded and some didn't. Given more time I am sure they will come good. But at clubs like Fulham we can't mess about waiting for players to come good. I am still waiting for Dembele to move up and be consistent.

Astonishing. That you are quick to state that we cannot mess around waiting for youngsters to come good, bearing in mind that some of them are good prospects, and yet to bang on about giving the Fulham manager more time, despite showing and proving that he is a poor prospect and is delaying and damaging Fulhams chances to progress. I would say that is Double Standards of the highest order, and you have decided that without impartiality. In other words you are stating that Fulham haven't got time to wait for youngsters to come through. Yet the Manager can have far more time to continue to carry on his incompetence.
I find that difficult to comprehend.
Some people may even say that's hypocrisy.  You cannot have it both ways. If you genuinely want Fulham to progress at a reasonable decent pace, that's called ambition and having aspirations,  as opposed to dragging our feet which will get the club nowhere, as the club will be stranded in the second tier or below Indefinitely. That could be called apathy and lethargic.



:005: Goodness settle down. Your hatred for our manager seems to be clouding every opinion in every post. He will be gone soon enough. Then you will be able to hate something else.  Now try and concentrate on what the thread is about without this hatred and bile spilling over.

A club like ours cannot spend ages nurturing the youngsters as we once did.
Seems we have done very well in bringing youngsters through the fact that some of them are not going to make it is a fact of life. Now you hate Symons, yes I understand that.



I am afraid I cannot agree with that - this is exactly what clubs like Fulham should be doing: nurturing young players. We will never be able to compete financially with the "big" clubs, so building a strong academy should be one of our priorities. That could work by both bringing some players up for the first team and selling others for a nice profit like we did with Roberts.

If you mean that we cannot do that because our only target should be to get back to the Premier League, I would argue that we should/could do both if we find the right balance. Obviously, you cannot bring 10 kids up from the U21 and then claim that promotion is your target. But if you have a core of veteran or more experienced players, you can gradually introduce 2-3 youngsters in the team depending on their quality. At the same time, you should loan out others that you judge they are too good for U21 football but not quite there for Championship football.

In Hyndman's case, he was brought up last year by Maggatt and was pretty impressive or very good in most of the games he played. I was positively surprised as I was not aware of him and expected to see even more. He did feature 5 times under Kit with 11 more on the bench before we went away for the World Cup and then got injured. One would expect that he would be around the team this year and get more chances to play. He's behind Parker, Christensen and Tunnicliffe on the depth chart at the end of last season and then the club adds O'Hara and Mattila in central midfield and also Cairney and Pringle that can play as CM even though they are being used as wingers. Where does this leave Hyndman then? Probably in U21 for another year, as he has only seen the pitch for 8 minutes against Stoke so far this season.

If the club thought that he is good enough for this level, they should have given him more chances this season. As I said before, this doesn't necessarily mean a guarantee place in the first eleven, but to be more involved with the first team. Or if they thought that he is close, but not yet there they should sit down with him and his agents and explain that and try to get a new deal done and send him on loan to a League 1 team. But when nothing happens and he just continues playing for the U21, I cannot really blame him when he says he wants to move somewhere else where he will get more playing time.
I like what you have said, but do you know for a fact that the club have not spoken with him and told him what their position is?


I don't know that - they are just assumptions on my part. However, if we didn't think he is going to make it or he and his agent rejected Fulham's new contract offer, I would expect us to try to sell him during the summer (if I remember well, there was some interest) and not keep him for another year and lose him for nothing. Perhaps there were no offers or we thought we could convince him to sign a new deal later in the season - this would be very difficult though if we were not prepared to give him any playing time.


Black and White Blood

I don't believe in player power but I believe Hyndman was the pick of the Bunch, ( along with Tom C ) we should have played him more, he is good enough


Rupert

Quote from: Lighthouse on October 11, 2015, 11:50:54 AM
Still I am rather proud you think I had any credibility to lose. 

Unfortunately the bicycle incident and the pasta incident, along with a misunderstanding of what Sister Monica meant when she announced that she was endorsing your membership of the Quick-Lime club, have left you with a small number of readers who think you can't be all bad, hence you have credibility. But rest assured, I am trying my best to rectify this with a couple of carefully targeted assassinations (remember Charlie the Stoat? Well, it wasn't an accident, see) and a subtle press campaign in the Hackney and Marshes Gazette.
Any fool can criticise, condemn and complain, and most fools do.

Lighthouse

Quote from: Rupert on October 12, 2015, 03:38:13 PM
Quote from: Lighthouse on October 11, 2015, 11:50:54 AM
Still I am rather proud you think I had any credibility to lose. 

Unfortunately the bicycle incident and the pasta incident, along with a misunderstanding of what Sister Monica meant when she announced that she was endorsing your membership of the Quick-Lime club, have left you with a small number of readers who think you can't be all bad, hence you have credibility. But rest assured, I am trying my best to rectify this with a couple of carefully targeted assassinations (remember Charlie the Stoat? Well, it wasn't an accident, see) and a subtle press campaign in the Hackney and Marshes Gazette.


You make the endorsement of my membership sound more than just a grateful Sister repaying a kindness. I am not one to blow my own brass instrument. But it is well known in ecclesiastical  circles that Charles or Charlie The Stoat if you must, has an innocent crush on Sister Monica. Apparently the good Sister has on occasion let slip her disappointment in some of her fellow Sisters. Hence the odd mishap with Sisters involved in choking on Pasta and traffic incidents. Anyway as a 'thank you' to Charles for the unexplained accidents.  The good Sister found out his favourite film was the Disney modern classic 'Frozen'. So she invited him to watch it in her cell. Or it might have been his. Anyway the DVD sound didn't work and to halt what could have been an awful situation. I happened to be passing and thankfully knew all the songs and dialogue to the Film Classic. I was able to add my vocal touches and we all had a fine old time.

Hence the membership endorsement as a thank you.  Now as Elsa. or was the other one sang. Let it go.
The above IS NOT A LEGAL DOCUMENT. It is an opinion.

We may yet hear the horse talk.

I can stand my own despair but not others hope

WayneKerrins

So we couldnt and shouldn't give players like Hyndman a few starts to develop clear potential and possibly have secured him. When arguably he'd showed enough to start more games in his few appearances.

Yet our voluntary billionaire custodian must be given years of slack, including dismissing:  the principle of buyer beware, the concept of accountability (at the top), the plethora of mistakes as any form of a trend, the notion of walking ones talk.

A rookie and seemingly mediocre  manager can learn on the job too.

Wow..


Rupert

Quote from: Lighthouse on October 12, 2015, 07:29:48 PM


You make the endorsement of my membership sound more than just a grateful Sister repaying a kindness. I am not one to blow my own brass instrument. But it is well known in ecclesiastical  circles that Charles or Charlie The Stoat if you must, has an innocent crush on Sister Monica. Apparently the good Sister has on occasion let slip her disappointment in some of her fellow Sisters. Hence the odd mishap with Sisters involved in choking on Pasta and traffic incidents. Anyway as a 'thank you' to Charles for the unexplained accidents.  The good Sister found out his favourite film was the Disney modern classic 'Frozen'. So she invited him to watch it in her cell. Or it might have been his. Anyway the DVD sound didn't work and to halt what could have been an awful situation. I happened to be passing and thankfully knew all the songs and dialogue to the Film Classic. I was able to add my vocal touches and we all had a fine old time.

Hence the membership endorsement as a thank you.  Now as Elsa. or was the other one sang. Let it go.

Yet again, your wilful misinterpretation of the true facts beggars belief. The reason the good Sister Monica had the sound down so low was because she did not want to disturb Mother Superior, who was entertaining the Bishop in her own cell at the time, so you barging in, can of Silver Stripe cider in hand, and warbling in your usual rambling, slurring state after two cans of the stuff, most certainly did not please the Sister. What you though of as a warm hug was actually her trying to throttle you, which shows you how far you have driven her to the edge of madness with your antics.

As for whether it was Elsa or Anna who sang, I would not know as I have never seen the cartoon. Thus likening yourself to Olaf means nothing to me, so you need to stop.
Any fool can criticise, condemn and complain, and most fools do.

Lighthouse

Quote from: Rupert on October 13, 2015, 01:03:05 PM
Quote from: Lighthouse on October 12, 2015, 07:29:48 PM


You make the endorsement of my membership sound more than just a grateful Sister repaying a kindness. I am not one to blow my own brass instrument. But it is well known in ecclesiastical  circles that Charles or Charlie The Stoat if you must, has an innocent crush on Sister Monica. Apparently the good Sister has on occasion let slip her disappointment in some of her fellow Sisters. Hence the odd mishap with Sisters involved in choking on Pasta and traffic incidents. Anyway as a 'thank you' to Charles for the unexplained accidents.  The good Sister found out his favourite film was the Disney modern classic 'Frozen'. So she invited him to watch it in her cell. Or it might have been his. Anyway the DVD sound didn't work and to halt what could have been an awful situation. I happened to be passing and thankfully knew all the songs and dialogue to the Film Classic. I was able to add my vocal touches and we all had a fine old time.

Hence the membership endorsement as a thank you.  Now as Elsa. or was the other one sang. Let it go.

Yet again, your wilful misinterpretation of the true facts beggars belief. The reason the good Sister Monica had the sound down so low was because she did not want to disturb Mother Superior, who was entertaining the Bishop in her own cell at the time, so you barging in, can of Silver Stripe cider in hand, and warbling in your usual rambling, slurring state after two cans of the stuff, most certainly did not please the Sister. What you though of as a warm hug was actually her trying to throttle you, which shows you how far you have driven her to the edge of madness with your antics.

As for whether it was Elsa or Anna who sang, I would not know as I have never seen the cartoon. Thus likening yourself to Olaf means nothing to me, so you need to stop.

As you well know, part of my Community Service involves litter patrol in the grounds of the Nunnery. That is where I found the can of cider. I merely picked it up and was looking for a suitable receptacle to place it in.  I don't deny I may have had a drink before my litter duty. It was cold and I don't think anybody and least of all of the good Sister would begrudge me that. The so called throttle by the good Sister that you seem to take great delight in telling. Was a massage of the larynx. My voice needed to be in good form for what turned out to be a wonderful and moving rendition. Even if I say so myself.

I cannot but believe your words are born out of jealousy. Since The Bishop and indeed The Mother Superior have written to you and informed you that you were no longer welcome in the Nunnery since that display of wilful nudity while clutching a Cherub. I do not feel these pages are the best place to hang out your dirty laundry. By the way you still owe me for the last wash. I don't even want to know what that stain was. So in future please go through my solicitors. 'Clean Pants and Clean Reputations' Limited, The Flat over The Chippy.
The above IS NOT A LEGAL DOCUMENT. It is an opinion.

We may yet hear the horse talk.

I can stand my own despair but not others hope

Asotosyios

Quote from: Lighthouse on October 11, 2015, 05:24:22 PM
We did introduce 3 or 4 players from the youth team. Some were successful and are in the team or on the verge. Others haven't and were sold on for a huge profit or want to leave. My point about nurturing players is we cannot spend time when they are not going to make the grade we require in the time we require it. Bigger clubs can and do bring players from other youth teams in and spend time loaning them out etc. The leagues are full of good youth players that are in the mid twenties who had to move on from clubs. This wasn't the fault of their original club.

As for including Emmerson in a few more squads with so many players ahead of him. Well there was no point. I too thought he was very good on the little we have seen of him. But clearly others didn't and he wanted to leave. The two things may be connected.

He may want to leave because he doesn't get to play at all and feels that people at the club do not rate him highly enough.
It's totally fine if the people at the club think he is not going to make it, but: if that's the case, why do we want him to sign a new contract instead of selling him (even for a small fee) and move on? The way things are now, we will lose him for nothing in the summer.
If we do like him though and think he could do a job for us, I think we should have planned to give him more time (either by not signing Mattila for example, or rotating the squad more).


Rupert

Quote from: Lighthouse on October 13, 2015, 03:40:33 PM
As you well know, part of my Community Service involves litter patrol in the grounds of the Nunnery. That is where I found the can of cider. I merely picked it up and was looking for a suitable receptacle to place it in.  I don't deny I may have had a drink before my litter duty. It was cold and I don't think anybody and least of all of the good Sister would begrudge me that. The so called throttle by the good Sister that you seem to take great delight in telling. Was a massage of the larynx. My voice needed to be in good form for what turned out to be a wonderful and moving rendition. Even if I say so myself.

I cannot but believe your words are born out of jealousy. Since The Bishop and indeed The Mother Superior have written to you and informed you that you were no longer welcome in the Nunnery since that display of wilful nudity while clutching a Cherub. I do not feel these pages are the best place to hang out your dirty laundry. By the way you still owe me for the last wash. I don't even want to know what that stain was. So in future please go through my solicitors. 'Clean Pants and Clean Reputations' Limited, The Flat over The Chippy.

Jealousy? Jealousy???? Just because I am temporarily barred from the Nunnery? Nonsense!

And may I say, it is a low blow bringing up the nudity issue, the novices have as much right as anyone else to indulge in art, the painting class needed a model and I happened to be in the vicinity. If anything, the jealousy is on the Bishop's part, he was supposed to be the model, was late, and was miffed that I his taken his place. Mind you, I still wonder why the novices thought I was there to chastise them too, I doubt if they ever do anything remotely sinful.

As I have said, the stain, as you insist in calling it, will come out, but you have taken the TV advert too literally. You need to add water to the washing powder too, you see, then you need to scrub the trousers. My wife told me that last week, when I went into her room to feed her. She asked me to remember her to you, by the way, she says she still has nightmares from the memory of that chiffon dress you wore at the wedding, hence I have to keep her safely in confinement. So it is all your fault, as usual.
Any fool can criticise, condemn and complain, and most fools do.

Woolly Mammoth

Quote from: Woolly Mammoth on October 11, 2015, 10:06:07 PM
Quote from: Lighthouse on October 11, 2015, 11:50:54 AM
Quote from: Arthur on October 11, 2015, 11:22:00 AM
Quote from: Woolly Mammoth on October 11, 2015, 01:40:24 AM
Quote from: Lighthouse on October 10, 2015, 11:32:30 PM
But at clubs like Fulham we can't mess about waiting for players to come good. I am still waiting for Dembele to move up and be consistent.

Astonishing. That you are quick to state that we cannot mess around waiting for youngsters to come good, bearing in mind that some of them are good prospects, and yet to bang on about giving the Fulham manager more time...

Agree, WM.

A loss of credibility on the part of LH, who has chided many on here - myself included - for, in his view, expecting too much of Kit, too soon.

On the other hand, Lord forbid that, after a run of 10 games, our promising 19 year-old striker is not yet producing his best form every week.

I think by 'chided' you mean not agreed with your opinion. Still I am rather proud you think I had any credibility to lose. The problem is, I have never started a 'keep the manager' thread. Only added my opinion to a few of the many calling for his head. The get 'Kit out' posts turning up in threads that were not primarily get the manager threads has overflowed into 'get the unbelievers' for not agreeing. Unlike both yourself and WM I have NEVER made it personal. You have an opinion on the manager I don't agree with. But that is as far as it goes.

Lighthouse. Have you been sniffing glue again, I have never mentioned the word hate, or hatred, or hateful. But in your last thread alone you mentioned hatred twice and hate once, I have never mentioned those words, so not only are you guilty of puting them in my mouth, but by your admission you are guilty of being accused of defamation of my impeccable character. You are lambasting my godly reputation with falsehoods of epic proportions. You are attempting to stain my pillar of the community and salt of the earth status.
Not only am I a man of the people, I am a man for the people.
But with your permission may I rewind back to the subject in hand. You have gone and done it again, stating that the club hasn't got time to bring in youngsters, but plenty of time for Kit to take us all down a Cul de sac and run out of 5 Star.
So my deduction in this whole saga, is that any hate comes from you hating my level headed and impartial and astute opinions, because they do not run in accordance with yours, and that is hateful.
Better men than me would demand an apology for these false accusations, but I am a reasonable man, and I understand how frustrating it is being in the minority as you clearly are.
Nothing wrong with that, but just do not use the words hate or hatred quite so loosely, otherwise you lose your argument and views by these ill judged non prudent remarks. You need to use a little more decorum and if you are, cease sniffing glue man, otherwise you end up getting stuck on it.   
Its not the man in the fight, it's the fight in the man.  🐘

Never forget your Roots.

Lighthouse

Quote from: Rupert on October 14, 2015, 09:56:28 AM
Quote from: Lighthouse on October 13, 2015, 03:40:33 PM
As you well know, part of my Community Service involves litter patrol in the grounds of the Nunnery. That is where I found the can of cider. I merely picked it up and was looking for a suitable receptacle to place it in.  I don't deny I may have had a drink before my litter duty. It was cold and I don't think anybody and least of all of the good Sister would begrudge me that. The so called throttle by the good Sister that you seem to take great delight in telling. Was a massage of the larynx. My voice needed to be in good form for what turned out to be a wonderful and moving rendition. Even if I say so myself.

I cannot but believe your words are born out of jealousy. Since The Bishop and indeed The Mother Superior have written to you and informed you that you were no longer welcome in the Nunnery since that display of wilful nudity while clutching a Cherub. I do not feel these pages are the best place to hang out your dirty laundry. By the way you still owe me for the last wash. I don't even want to know what that stain was. So in future please go through my solicitors. 'Clean Pants and Clean Reputations' Limited, The Flat over The Chippy.

Jealousy? Jealousy???? Just because I am temporarily barred from the Nunnery? Nonsense!

And may I say, it is a low blow bringing up the nudity issue, the novices have as much right as anyone else to indulge in art, the painting class needed a model and I happened to be in the vicinity. If anything, the jealousy is on the Bishop's part, he was supposed to be the model, was late, and was miffed that I his taken his place. Mind you, I still wonder why the novices thought I was there to chastise them too, I doubt if they ever do anything remotely sinful.

As I have said, the stain, as you insist in calling it, will come out, but you have taken the TV advert too literally. You need to add water to the washing powder too, you see, then you need to scrub the trousers. My wife told me that last week, when I went into her room to feed her. She asked me to remember her to you, by the way, she says she still has nightmares from the memory of that chiffon dress you wore at the wedding, hence I have to keep her safely in confinement. So it is all your fault, as usual.

Yes I did outshine the bride that day. Despite being uninvited I thought I could just slip into the four hour ceremony. The slipping and knocking over the wedding party was an error. But who could tell that a thirty stone, bearded man with a limp, dressed head to toe in Pink Chiffon with just a hint of taffeta. With tapioca dripping down the front and muttering 'it'll never last you know'? Would cause such a stir. My goodness I can carry off that look.   
The above IS NOT A LEGAL DOCUMENT. It is an opinion.

We may yet hear the horse talk.

I can stand my own despair but not others hope


Rupert

Quote from: Lighthouse on October 15, 2015, 09:59:28 AM
Quote from: Rupert on October 14, 2015, 09:56:28 AM
Quote from: Lighthouse on October 13, 2015, 03:40:33 PM
As you well know, part of my Community Service involves litter patrol in the grounds of the Nunnery. That is where I found the can of cider. I merely picked it up and was looking for a suitable receptacle to place it in.  I don't deny I may have had a drink before my litter duty. It was cold and I don't think anybody and least of all of the good Sister would begrudge me that. The so called throttle by the good Sister that you seem to take great delight in telling. Was a massage of the larynx. My voice needed to be in good form for what turned out to be a wonderful and moving rendition. Even if I say so myself.

I cannot but believe your words are born out of jealousy. Since The Bishop and indeed The Mother Superior have written to you and informed you that you were no longer welcome in the Nunnery since that display of wilful nudity while clutching a Cherub. I do not feel these pages are the best place to hang out your dirty laundry. By the way you still owe me for the last wash. I don't even want to know what that stain was. So in future please go through my solicitors. 'Clean Pants and Clean Reputations' Limited, The Flat over The Chippy.

Jealousy? Jealousy???? Just because I am temporarily barred from the Nunnery? Nonsense!

And may I say, it is a low blow bringing up the nudity issue, the novices have as much right as anyone else to indulge in art, the painting class needed a model and I happened to be in the vicinity. If anything, the jealousy is on the Bishop's part, he was supposed to be the model, was late, and was miffed that I his taken his place. Mind you, I still wonder why the novices thought I was there to chastise them too, I doubt if they ever do anything remotely sinful.

As I have said, the stain, as you insist in calling it, will come out, but you have taken the TV advert too literally. You need to add water to the washing powder too, you see, then you need to scrub the trousers. My wife told me that last week, when I went into her room to feed her. She asked me to remember her to you, by the way, she says she still has nightmares from the memory of that chiffon dress you wore at the wedding, hence I have to keep her safely in confinement. So it is all your fault, as usual.

Yes I did outshine the bride that day. Despite being uninvited I thought I could just slip into the four hour ceremony. The slipping and knocking over the wedding party was an error. But who could tell that a thirty stone, bearded man with a limp, dressed head to toe in Pink Chiffon with just a hint of taffeta. With tapioca dripping down the front and muttering 'it'll never last you know'? Would cause such a stir. My goodness I can carry off that look.   

A limp what?  :005:

But, I digress. It was not so much the demolishing of the cake that mattered, my new in-laws ate it all anyway, muddy footprints and all, nor the breach of security (her family again, her first cousin was head of security and has paid the price), but you had the back of the dress tucked into your underwear, having obviously needed a toilet break before your arrival. I mean, yellow Y fronts with orange spots? Really? Who wears Y fronts nowadays, eh? Eh?

By the by, I checked and it appears your solicitors are a dry cleaning firm, so I'd ignore their advice over your dirty laundry, they are only out to make a profit from you, unlike my solicitors Grabbit, Leggit and Hyde.
Any fool can criticise, condemn and complain, and most fools do.

Lighthouse

Sorry that should read 'Limp Wedding Arrangement'
The above IS NOT A LEGAL DOCUMENT. It is an opinion.

We may yet hear the horse talk.

I can stand my own despair but not others hope