Picayune Sunday Trumpet Blowing

[Lighthouse]

Atishoo Shipahoy hates football. He remembers the joy of joining Fulham. 'In my country only one in a million people can blow their own trumpet. But here a lot more can. I decided to try and blow mine. I thought I was ready and need to go to the World Cup. But I made a mistake as the World Cup was being held next door and I came here. But I have kept off the pitch in the only way I know. Sent off and now an ankle injury. Trumpet blowing is a dangerous thing to try'

But manager Hodgkiss puts a different spin on it. ' Look it wasn't my decision but I fully support it. Sending valuable players out to blow there own trumpets is just something we had to do. The bee shirt was a real pull for the lad. Trumpet Blowing and a funny costume. We couldn't say no'

'We have a good young lad who speaks no English, But I said to him. I speaka eyetileian and weel learn you trumpeter blowing thereof and there in. So Okakaka needs to sit on the bench and learn our game. The feel of a bench or seat, wood or plastic, at our level it doesn't really matter. But that firm feeling of hard wood on Buttock. You can't beat it. But Okakak will be ready on the last game. We will be down the Sun will be out, he will shine like a diamond in the....'

15 Million pound Striker Chris Smalling admits he owes Fulham a lot. ' About 15 Million quid I think. But there is nothing like seeing that shot arrow into the top of the stands and think. I am like my hero BZ. No I shall miss this place. Like buggery I will'

Last word to captian Daniel O Murphy. 'I used to b able to put the trumpet to my lips and blow. You know how to blow don't you? If you do can you remind me because I keep missing my face with it'

[RidgeRider]

Brilliant!