I was interested to read that The Riverside has been nominated for a 'Hospitality & Experience Award' at the 25th Sport Industry Awards, and I felt a pang of jealousy that our own Hammersmith End facilities appear to have been overlooked for something similar. So perhaps we should nominate the Hammy End Toilets for an award of their own, at the same upcoming awards ceremony?
What categories do you think the Hammy End toilets would indeed excel at? Something along the lines of: 'Most Inconvenient Conveniences,' 'Longest Queues and Greatest Congestion Award,' 'Taking the 'P' Award,' etc? I hope you won't all resort to childish toilet humour, as I truly believe we should show solidarity with the club in striving to achieve these prestigious awards.
Bog off
Quote from: H4usuallysitting on February 21, 2026, 03:27:46 PMBog off
Great idea. That's one way to sell out the Southampton game.
Buy One, Get One Free!
You are welcome to have a Dump in our Hammy End Dump.
Quote from: Woolly Mammoth on February 21, 2026, 04:43:35 PMYou are welcome to have a Dump in our Hammy End Dump.
That small toilet in the hammy end, the three or four stalls, is utterly horrible every game.
Those bogs are a disgrace in the Hammy end.
Probably not even health and safety complaint!
Quote from: _Putney_ on February 21, 2026, 04:52:05 PMQuote from: Woolly Mammoth on February 21, 2026, 04:43:35 PMYou are welcome to have a Dump in our Hammy End Dump.
That small toilet in the hammy end, the three or four stalls, is utterly horrible every game.
Absolutely, I have to stand on the seat every time I use it.
Quote from: Woolly Mammoth on February 21, 2026, 04:54:43 PMQuote from: _Putney_ on February 21, 2026, 04:52:05 PMQuote from: Woolly Mammoth on February 21, 2026, 04:43:35 PMYou are welcome to have a Dump in our Hammy End Dump.
That small toilet in the hammy end, the three or four stalls, is utterly horrible every game.
Absolutely, I have to stand on the seat every time I use it.
:slap:
I genuinely feel sorry for those who have to clean it.
Quote from: _Putney_ on February 21, 2026, 05:51:23 PMQuote from: Woolly Mammoth on February 21, 2026, 04:54:43 PMQuote from: _Putney_ on February 21, 2026, 04:52:05 PMQuote from: Woolly Mammoth on February 21, 2026, 04:43:35 PMYou are welcome to have a Dump in our Hammy End Dump.
That small toilet in the hammy end, the three or four stalls, is utterly horrible every game.
Absolutely, I have to stand on the seat every time I use it.
:slap:
I genuinely feel sorry for those who have to clean it.
That's if there is any bog roll left to use!
Got to say, and appreciate some may feel i can be somewhat negative at times. The hammy end toilets are a total disgrace. As a 42 year old man taking a 5 year old girl to the football, there is very little suitable options to take a child to the toilet when you need a cubicle etc. Its pretty shameful given the ticket price increases
Probably still use Izal!
Could be a competition with the golden Lion for worst bog!
I'm in Johnny Haynes and am slightly fascinated at the notoriety of the infamous Hammy End loos. What makes them so terrible?
JH ones are alright.
Quote from: FFCpmd on February 21, 2026, 03:05:38 PMI was interested to read that The Riverside has been nominated for a 'Hospitality & Experience Award' at the 25th Sport Industry Awards, and I felt a pang of jealousy that our own Hammersmith End facilities appear to have been overlooked for something similar. So perhaps we should nominate the Hammy End Toilets for an award of their own, at the same upcoming awards ceremony?
What categories do you think the Hammy End toilets would indeed excel at? Something along the lines of: 'Most Inconvenient Conveniences,' 'Longest Queues and Greatest Congestion Award,' 'Taking the 'P' Award,' etc? I hope you won't all resort to childish toilet humour, as I truly believe we should show solidarity with the club in striving to achieve these prestigious awards.
Here's a few:
The Limpest Powered Hand Dryer Award
The Worst Disabled Facilities Award
The Slowest Cistern Filling Award
The Award for Least Money Spent on Improving Toilets over the Past Thirty Years
The Award for the Greatest Contrast between the Directors' Facilities and the Facilities for the Fans
Quote from: hopper on February 21, 2026, 09:26:25 PMI'm in Johnny Haynes and am slightly fascinated at the notoriety of the infamous Hammy End loos. What makes them so terrible?
Richard The Third
There is more hygiene in a cattle shed containing a hundred head of Buffalo 🦬 🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬 🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬 🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬🦬
Quote from: Ludlow Richard on February 21, 2026, 10:44:49 PMQuote from: FFCpmd on February 21, 2026, 03:05:38 PMI was interested to read that The Riverside has been nominated for a 'Hospitality & Experience Award' at the 25th Sport Industry Awards, and I felt a pang of jealousy that our own Hammersmith End facilities appear to have been overlooked for something similar. So perhaps we should nominate the Hammy End Toilets for an award of their own, at the same upcoming awards ceremony?
What categories do you think the Hammy End toilets would indeed excel at? Something along the lines of: 'Most Inconvenient Conveniences,' 'Longest Queues and Greatest Congestion Award,' 'Taking the 'P' Award,' etc? I hope you won't all resort to childish toilet humour, as I truly believe we should show solidarity with the club in striving to achieve these prestigious awards.
Here's a few:
The Limpest Powered Hand Dryer Award
The Worst Disabled Facilities Award
The Slowest Cistern Filling Award
The Award for Least Money Spent on Improving Toilets over the Past Thirty Years
The Award for the Greatest Contrast between the Directors' Facilities and the Facilities for the Fans
Can add the worst baby changing facilities, certainly for dads, not sure what the women's toilets have in them
Will the awards ceremony be on a Turdsday ?
Maybe alert international rescue? ::beer::
https://www.fulhamfc.com/fans/fan-advisory-board/contact-us/
In all seriousness, does anyone know if Hammersmith and Fulham Council have any power to act on the inadequacy of the HE End facilities?
Quote from: Southcoastffc on February 22, 2026, 10:42:53 AMIn all seriousness, does anyone know if Hammersmith and Fulham Council have any power to act on the inadequacy of the HE End facilities?
Quite possible, not sure they can act on the state of them, but there could maybe be questions over the amount of certain facilities such as disabled toilets, changing facilities etc. I am not up on planning RE stadiums but I expect there will be a minimum amount of cubicles requires per X male spectators and X Female. On the male cubicles there is almost none in the hammy end
FFC have put up a warning sign in the aforementioned facilities. It reads:
Please do not stand on the seats, the crabs in here can jump six feet. If you think thats rather high, go next door, the b@stards fly.
Quote from: hopper on February 21, 2026, 09:26:25 PMI'm in Johnny Haynes and am slightly fascinated at the notoriety of the infamous Hammy End loos. What makes them so terrible?
JH ones are alright.
By kick off, there is a half inch of p1ss on the floor. They're all small. Many of them you can see into at the right angle. They smell horrible. Wouldn't bother with the sink, and most dont, so hardly any hand washing. That's the urinals. Now for the stalls. Most of them have 10 kilos of sh1t in them each. Don't both flushing, makes no difference! Oh, and there's a total 5 stalls maybe? Spread across the whole stand.
Quote from: _Putney_ on February 22, 2026, 01:09:18 PMQuote from: hopper on February 21, 2026, 09:26:25 PMI'm in Johnny Haynes and am slightly fascinated at the notoriety of the infamous Hammy End loos. What makes them so terrible?
JH ones are alright.
By kick off, there is a half inch of p1ss on the floor. They're all small. Many of them you can see into at the right angle. They smell horrible. Wouldn't bother with the sink, and most dont, so hardly any hand washing. That's the urinals. Now for the stalls. Most of them have 10 kilos of sh1t in them each. Don't both flushing, makes no difference! Oh, and there's a total 5 stalls maybe? Spread across the whole stand.
Bloody hell, sounds grim. Sort it out Fulham.
The next time I visit the cottage - I'm bringing one of these beauties
https://www.argos.co.uk/product/5194258?utm_custom6=LIA&deeplink=true&gclsrc=aw.ds&&cmpid=GS001&_$ja=tsid:59157|acid:278-707-7346|cid:20213315256|agid:|tid:|crid:|nw:x|rnd:14841790276961586986|dvc:m|adp:|mt:|loc:9045156&utm_source=Google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=20213315256&utm_term=5194258&utm_content=shopping&utm_custom1=&utm_custom2=278-707-7346&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=19672034294&gbraid=0AAAAAD9II9nCNemX4f23_2ZGueVk63AsZ&gclid=Cj0KCQiA7-rMBhCFARIsAKnLKtA6KxI8iaHrmPEyiBjkr087ScRTYY5V_9O0YBhIRTo9wg0cnE04klUaArqdEALw_wcB
I take a Thermos flask with me as an alternative and fill it when needs must. Then I have something to keep me warm. Of course as I am old I sometimes forger and open the flask for a drink.
When were the bogs last refurbished?
1900s? ::wine::
Quote from: hopper on February 22, 2026, 01:12:05 PMQuote from: _Putney_ on February 22, 2026, 01:09:18 PMQuote from: hopper on February 21, 2026, 09:26:25 PMI'm in Johnny Haynes and am slightly fascinated at the notoriety of the infamous Hammy End loos. What makes them so terrible?
JH ones are alright.
By kick off, there is a half inch of p1ss on the floor. They're all small. Many of them you can see into at the right angle. They smell horrible. Wouldn't bother with the sink, and most dont, so hardly any hand washing. That's the urinals. Now for the stalls. Most of them have 10 kilos of sh1t in them each. Don't both flushing, makes no difference! Oh, and there's a total 5 stalls maybe? Spread across the whole stand.
Bloody hell, sounds grim. Sort it out Fulham.
Could be worse, could have a chelsea badge over it.
Quote from: FFC007 on February 22, 2026, 01:49:11 PMWhen were the bogs last refurbished?
1900s? ::wine::
Just before the Boar War
My vote for the Hammy End bogs would be: "The shittiest, nastiest, most degrading bogs of the decade" award.
It's the club's new ploy to get people in the ground early & avoid the pre kickoff build up.
Not as good as the £2 pint mind.
Quote from: FFC007 on February 21, 2026, 06:11:17 PMQuote from: _Putney_ on February 21, 2026, 05:51:23 PMQuote from: Woolly Mammoth on February 21, 2026, 04:54:43 PMQuote from: _Putney_ on February 21, 2026, 04:52:05 PMQuote from: Woolly Mammoth on February 21, 2026, 04:43:35 PMYou are welcome to have a Dump in our Hammy End Dump.
That small toilet in the hammy end, the three or four stalls, is utterly horrible every game.
Absolutely, I have to stand on the seat every time I use it.
:slap:
I genuinely feel sorry for those who have to clean it.
That's if there is any bog roll left to use!
That used to be a Ladies a few years back. I have no idea why they changed it to Gents but after reading this thread I hope to God they don't change it back!
Surely the amount of bogs in relation to the maximum capacity of that stand is also insufficient?
Quote from: FFC007 on February 22, 2026, 05:55:22 PMSurely the amount of bogs in relation to the maximum capacity of that stand is also insufficient?
It's not insufficient - it's effluent
Quote from: Woolly Mammoth on February 21, 2026, 04:54:43 PMQuote from: _Putney_ on February 21, 2026, 04:52:05 PMQuote from: Woolly Mammoth on February 21, 2026, 04:43:35 PMYou are welcome to have a Dump in our Hammy End Dump.
That small toilet in the hammy end, the three or four stalls, is utterly horrible every game.
Absolutely, I have to stand on the seat every time I use it.
Lol :slap:
You weren't a gymnast in your younger days Woolly, were you? 🤔
The beams? :guitar-playHDs:
We can all be sure our CEO, Alistair MacIntosh, has never been in never mind use the 'facilities.'
They're a lot better than I seem to remember them being 10 or 15 years ago, that's not saying much mind you.
Riverside is another level altogether though.
When I had a ST in the Hammersmith, ending 12 years ago or so, the toilets were awful. Have they really not done them up since then?!
Quote from: SimonDaviesEnjoyer on February 22, 2026, 09:59:45 PMWhen I had a ST in the Hammersmith, ending 12 years ago or so, the toilets were awful. Have they really not done them up since then?!
They tried once with a stick of Dynamite 🧨
Quote from: FFC007 on February 21, 2026, 04:53:34 PMThose bogs are a disgrace in the Hammy end.
Probably not even health and safety complaint!
They made the film called " The Blob " in there.
Quote from: FFC007 on February 22, 2026, 01:49:11 PMWhen were the bogs last refurbished?
1900s? ::wine::
Well they're no different to when I first used them in 1958. Our club should be ashamed.
Quote from: SimonDaviesEnjoyer on February 22, 2026, 09:59:45 PMWhen I had a ST in the Hammersmith, ending 12 years ago or so, the toilets were awful. Have they really not done them up since then?!
You missed out the middle letters HI there, and it explains a lot.
Quote from: SP on February 22, 2026, 04:33:43 PMIt's the club's new ploy to get people in the ground early & avoid the pre kickoff build up.
Not as good as the £2 pint mind.
The cheap booze really doesn't help when loads get consumed and all that peeing has to be done to get rid!
No wonder the bogs are degrading and smell like a brewery!
Quote from: bigalffc on February 23, 2026, 11:26:00 AMQuote from: FFC007 on February 22, 2026, 01:49:11 PMWhen were the bogs last refurbished?
1900s? ::wine::
Well they're no different to when I first used them in 1958. Our club should be ashamed.
They are different.... they're worse, much more worse
Quote from: hopper on February 21, 2026, 09:26:25 PMI'm in Johnny Haynes and am slightly fascinated at the notoriety of the infamous Hammy End loos. What makes them so terrible?
JH ones are alright.
Try evacuating your bowels in the Hammy end, and if you live to tell the tale your life will never be the same again.
Quote from: Woolly Mammoth on February 24, 2026, 02:13:44 AMQuote from: hopper on February 21, 2026, 09:26:25 PMI'm in Johnny Haynes and am slightly fascinated at the notoriety of the infamous Hammy End loos. What makes them so terrible?
JH ones are alright.
Try evacuating your bowels in the Hammy end, and if you live to tell the tale your life will never be the same again.
And don't forget to bring your own bog roll too.
Quote from: FFC007 on February 24, 2026, 10:50:55 AMQuote from: Woolly Mammoth on February 24, 2026, 02:13:44 AMQuote from: hopper on February 21, 2026, 09:26:25 PMI'm in Johnny Haynes and am slightly fascinated at the notoriety of the infamous Hammy End loos. What makes them so terrible?
JH ones are alright.
Try evacuating your bowels in the Hammy end, and if you live to tell the tale your life will never be the same again.
And don't forget to bring your own bog roll too.
Plus a wire brush, paint remover and a gallon of highly concentrated Dettol Disinfectant.
Personally while the toilets are not great in the Hammy End, the ones under the Johnny Haynes Stand are worse. Older and smaller.
JH ones aren't great either.
Especially if they've been destroyed by previous occupants of said bogs.
Quote from: _Putney_ on February 22, 2026, 01:09:18 PMQuote from: hopper on February 21, 2026, 09:26:25 PMI'm in Johnny Haynes and am slightly fascinated at the notoriety of the infamous Hammy End loos. What makes them so terrible?
JH ones are alright.
By kick off, there is a half inch of p1ss on the floor. They're all small. Many of them you can see into at the right angle. They smell horrible. Wouldn't bother with the sink, and most dont, so hardly any hand washing. That's the urinals. Now for the stalls. Most of them have 10 kilos of sh1t in them each. Don't both flushing, makes no difference! Oh, and there's a total 5 stalls maybe? Spread across the whole stand.
That's probably what caused the Great Plague of London 1665-1666.
Quote from: Woolly Mammoth on February 24, 2026, 09:51:15 PMQuote from: _Putney_ on February 22, 2026, 01:09:18 PMQuote from: hopper on February 21, 2026, 09:26:25 PMI'm in Johnny Haynes and am slightly fascinated at the notoriety of the infamous Hammy End loos. What makes them so terrible?
JH ones are alright.
By kick off, there is a half inch of p1ss on the floor. They're all small. Many of them you can see into at the right angle. They smell horrible. Wouldn't bother with the sink, and most dont, so hardly any hand washing. That's the urinals. Now for the stalls. Most of them have 10 kilos of sh1t in them each. Don't both flushing, makes no difference! Oh, and there's a total 5 stalls maybe? Spread across the whole stand.
That's probably what caused the Great Plague of London 1665-1666.
Probably more hygienic to have a wee in the Thames rather than the 5 stalls.
How an entire stand can have just the five is mind boggling....
Maybe next year they'll think about giving it a refurb...
Quote from: FFC007 on February 25, 2026, 09:21:51 PMQuote from: Woolly Mammoth on February 24, 2026, 09:51:15 PMQuote from: _Putney_ on February 22, 2026, 01:09:18 PMQuote from: hopper on February 21, 2026, 09:26:25 PMI'm in Johnny Haynes and am slightly fascinated at the notoriety of the infamous Hammy End loos. What makes them so terrible?
JH ones are alright.
By kick off, there is a half inch of p1ss on the floor. They're all small. Many of them you can see into at the right angle. They smell horrible. Wouldn't bother with the sink, and most dont, so hardly any hand washing. That's the urinals. Now for the stalls. Most of them have 10 kilos of sh1t in them each. Don't both flushing, makes no difference! Oh, and there's a total 5 stalls maybe? Spread across the whole stand.
That's probably what caused the Great Plague of London 1665-1666.
Probably more hygienic to have a wee in the Thames rather than the 5 stalls.
How an entire stand can have just the five is mind boggling....
Maybe next year they'll think about giving it a refurb...
Or the "Last Rites".
Even Hercules, fresh from the cleansing of the Augean stables, would have said "Sod that" if given the task of flushing out the Hammy End bogs as his next labour... "who wants to be immortal anyway?"
I wonder if like the rest of the stand, the JH khazis are 'listed' ? 🤔
I know the Hammy End bogs should definitely be 'listed'...
For demolition ! 🚽 :slap:
It's no wonder they opened up a long diversion behind the hammy end to get fans to the riverside stand and advertised it..
They can't have the posh hospitality big wigs walking past the stench of the hammy end bogs en route to their Michelin star luncheon! ::scarf::
Quote from: Woolly Mammoth on February 24, 2026, 02:13:44 AMQuote from: hopper on February 21, 2026, 09:26:25 PMI'm in Johnny Haynes and am slightly fascinated at the notoriety of the infamous Hammy End loos. What makes them so terrible?
JH ones are alright.
Try evacuating your bowels in the Hammy end, and if you live to tell the tale your life will never be the same again.
I hope you mean "the Hammy End toilets".........
The Johnny Haynes bogs take me back to my school days.
Also, it's a bloody nightmare trying to get out of the JH stand with people queuing for the bogs at full time.
Quote from: v on February 27, 2026, 02:52:14 AMI wonder if like the rest of the stand, the JH khazis are 'listed' ? 🤔
I know the Hammy End bogs should definitely be 'listed'...
For demolition ! 🚽 :slap:
I would imagine so...
On a side note - which large sporting event have you been to where the toilet have been impressive?
Maybe people should of taken their old mums
advice and gone for a wee before going out.
Quote from: sunburywhite on March 01, 2026, 12:22:54 PMOn a side note - which large sporting event have you been to where the toilet have been impressive?
The facilities at Lord's and the Oval are pretty decent.
It'll be even worse in there this afternoon with all the rain...
Slippery pee and rain water on the floor... lovely. ::angry::
Some of the Richard's are still alive hours after the event in this cattle shed that call Ablutions.
I have seen more hygienic facilities in a sewer.
The least the club can do is provide every one with a Gas Mask and a shovel, especially if someone is giving birth to a 10 pound Richard.
My mate went to the game and he's reported the hammy bogs were utterly destroyed by full time...
Sopping wet, bog roll all over the floor and quite frankly if someone doesn't fall over in there soon and hurt themselves, it'll be remarkable.
Facebook Group Post about the toilets (https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1EwPZ1Nayb/)
:guitar-playHDs: :guitar-playHDs: :slap:
Quote from: _Putney_ on March 01, 2026, 11:44:06 PMFacebook Group Post about the toilets (https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1EwPZ1Nayb/)
:guitar-playHDs: :guitar-playHDs: :slap:
Exhibit A.
Absolutely vile.
Quote from: FFC007 on March 02, 2026, 06:03:46 AMQuote from: _Putney_ on March 01, 2026, 11:44:06 PMFacebook Group Post about the toilets (https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1EwPZ1Nayb/)
:guitar-playHDs: :guitar-playHDs: :slap:
Exhibit A.
Absolutely vile.
Exhibit B.
Tetanus Injection for all clientele that have had the misfortune of being within 50 yards of this man made sewer.
I have swam in cleaner swamps in Africa.
Quote from: Woolly Mammoth on March 02, 2026, 08:45:33 AMQuote from: FFC007 on March 02, 2026, 06:03:46 AMQuote from: _Putney_ on March 01, 2026, 11:44:06 PMFacebook Group Post about the toilets (https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1EwPZ1Nayb/)
:guitar-playHDs: :guitar-playHDs: :slap:
Exhibit A.
Absolutely vile.
Exhibit B.
Tetanus Injection for all clientele that have had the misfortune of being within 50 yards of this man made sewer.
I have swam in cleaner swamps in Africa.
Exhibit C.
Flushing the Ground Managers head round the U bend.
As bad as the toilets are they are less full of s--t,
than Tottenhams Boardroom...
Surely the local environment officers should be paying these bogs a visit for themselves and seeing how inhumane they are.
All I'll say on the topic is that if the opportunity to watch a game of cricket at Eden Gardens presents itself, take it but be warned. One's view of Fulham's facilities might become rather more, ahem, glass-half-full.
The riverside bogs are very nice indeed.... Particularly in the hospitality section!
Never been in the Putney end for a match so can't comment on the state of those.
Quote from: FFC007 on March 02, 2026, 11:18:26 AMSurely the local environment officers should be paying these bogs a visit for themselves and seeing how inhumane they are.
It must be a Health and Safety issue,I wonder if the Council are aware?
Quote from: battersea boy on March 02, 2026, 05:47:58 PMQuote from: FFC007 on March 02, 2026, 11:18:26 AMSurely the local environment officers should be paying these bogs a visit for themselves and seeing how inhumane they are.
It must be a Health and Safety issue,I wonder if the Council are aware?
If they are aware then they'd be closed down instantly... they are degraded.
Quote from: battersea boy on March 02, 2026, 05:47:58 PMQuote from: FFC007 on March 02, 2026, 11:18:26 AMSurely the local environment officers should be paying these bogs a visit for themselves and seeing how inhumane they are.
It must be a Health and Safety issue,I wonder if the Council are aware?
I'm sure they'll be plenty of moans tomorrow night. Perhaps they should supply face masks for punters using the bogs.
Unbelievable the club shop doesn't sell Fulham FC wellingtons in the club colours for fans having to wade through the sea of gunk in those khazis 😩
They'd make a killing.
Quote from: v on March 03, 2026, 11:08:41 PMUnbelievable the club shop doesn't sell Fulham FC wellingtons in the club colours for fans having to wade through the sea of gunk in those khazis 😩
They'd make a killing.
That'd help our transfer budget no end! Add to that a good stock of lime green bog roll to go with it..
Happy days.
Quote from: FFC007 on March 02, 2026, 11:18:26 AMSurely the local environment officers should be paying these bogs a visit for themselves and seeing how inhumane they are.
He would have done, only he died of berry berry and blood poisoning just after the inspection.
There's much worse I've had to contend with - QPR, Pompey, etc.
Quote from: Burt on March 04, 2026, 09:43:05 AMThere's much worse I've had to contend with - QPR, Pompey, etc.
But they don't spend lavishly on a stand for hospitality and tourists...
Quote from: FFC007 on March 02, 2026, 11:18:26 AMSurely the local environment officers should be paying these bogs a visit for themselves and seeing how inhumane they are.
Only if they are made aware.
Great thread, this would make an epic movie.
I dread to think what they'll be like tonight...
Probably more people posting on social media about trap after trap being obliterated!
Just wondering there is a lot of chat about whether the council or environmental service know, has anyone been in touch with them.
No bog reports from last night?! ::scarf::
I'm very disappointed! :slap:
Quote from: FFC007 on March 05, 2026, 10:52:40 AMNo bog reports from last night?! ::scarf::
I'm very disappointed! :slap:
That's because nobody could get anywhere near them without the protection of a Deep Sea Diving Bell.
Quote from: Woolly Mammoth on March 05, 2026, 09:15:03 PMQuote from: FFC007 on March 05, 2026, 10:52:40 AMNo bog reports from last night?! ::scarf::
I'm very disappointed! :slap:
That's because nobody could get anywhere near them without the protection of a Deep Sea Diving Bell.
Plus spare oxygen tanks strapped to their person :slap:
The award goes to the profusion of Dung Beatles who initially frequented the premises, but a few minutes after savouring the atmosphere.
Decided enough was enough and vacated the infected areas in their droves to seek medical attention at the nearest Veterinary Hub before they become extinct.
Are there any other bogs in such a derelict condition in the footballing dynasty?
Quote from: FFC007 on March 15, 2026, 09:26:45 PMAre there any other bogs in such a derelict condition in the footballing dynasty?
No there certainly is not, even the local Tramp refused to use them when offered.
Quote from: Woolly Mammoth on March 16, 2026, 12:00:53 AMQuote from: FFC007 on March 15, 2026, 09:26:45 PMAre there any other bogs in such a derelict condition in the footballing dynasty?
No there certainly is not, even the local Tramp refused to use them when offered.
::scarf::
Quote from: alfie on March 04, 2026, 03:29:18 PMJust wondering there is a lot of chat about whether the council or environmental service know, has anyone been in touch with them.
Only with a 40 foot Barge Pole
Quote from: FFC007 on March 02, 2026, 11:18:26 AMSurely the local environment officers should be paying these bogs a visit for themselves and seeing how inhumane they are.
The club should be flushed with embarrassment.
Quote from: FFC007 on March 05, 2026, 10:52:40 AMNo bog reports from last night?! ::scarf::
I'm very disappointed! :slap:
A bloke I know told me recently that the club deliberately leave the Hammy Gents in that condition, to avoid punters getting too comfortable and end up missing any of the action on the pitch.
Are the bogs still functioning today?
Or are they wrecked already. :slap:
Already overcome by Richard the Thirds, reminds me of a large swamp in Africa after a huge herd of Buffalo, Hippos and Elephants have bathed in it.
Think of it this way. That humidity you feel when you walk into the toilets isn't clean water in the air....
Quote from: _Putney_ on March 21, 2026, 03:14:48 PMThink of it this way. That humidity you feel when you walk into the toilets isn't clean water in the air....
The aroma reminds me of a Cairo Sewer during the dry season.
Quote from: Woolly Mammoth on March 21, 2026, 03:36:59 PMQuote from: _Putney_ on March 21, 2026, 03:14:48 PMThink of it this way. That humidity you feel when you walk into the toilets isn't clean water in the air....
The aroma reminds me of a Cairo Sewer during the dry season.
LOL
Quote from: _Putney_ on March 21, 2026, 03:14:48 PMThink of it this way. That humidity you feel when you walk into the toilets isn't clean water in the air....
Eau de bogette....
Quote from: _Putney_ on February 21, 2026, 05:51:23 PMQuote from: Woolly Mammoth on February 21, 2026, 04:54:43 PMQuote from: _Putney_ on February 21, 2026, 04:52:05 PMQuote from: Woolly Mammoth on February 21, 2026, 04:43:35 PMYou are welcome to have a Dump in our Hammy End Dump.
That small toilet in the hammy end, the three or four stalls, is utterly horrible every game.
Absolutely, I have to stand on the seat every time I use it.
:slap:
I genuinely feel sorry for those who have to clean it.
I hope they pay well to clean those bogs after a matchday!
Quote from: FFC007 on March 24, 2026, 09:50:07 PMQuote from: _Putney_ on February 21, 2026, 05:51:23 PMQuote from: Woolly Mammoth on February 21, 2026, 04:54:43 PMQuote from: _Putney_ on February 21, 2026, 04:52:05 PMQuote from: Woolly Mammoth on February 21, 2026, 04:43:35 PMYou are welcome to have a Dump in our Hammy End Dump.
That small toilet in the hammy end, the three or four stalls, is utterly horrible every game.
Absolutely, I have to stand on the seat every time I use it.
:slap:
I genuinely feel sorry for those who have to clean it.
I hope they pay well to clean those bogs after a matchday!
They use a stick of Dynamite in each cubicle. 🧨
Quote from: Woolly Mammoth on March 24, 2026, 11:50:53 PMQuote from: FFC007 on March 24, 2026, 09:50:07 PMQuote from: _Putney_ on February 21, 2026, 05:51:23 PMQuote from: Woolly Mammoth on February 21, 2026, 04:54:43 PMQuote from: _Putney_ on February 21, 2026, 04:52:05 PMQuote from: Woolly Mammoth on February 21, 2026, 04:43:35 PMYou are welcome to have a Dump in our Hammy End Dump.
That small toilet in the hammy end, the three or four stalls, is utterly horrible every game.
Absolutely, I have to stand on the seat every time I use it.
:slap:
I genuinely feel sorry for those who have to clean it.
I hope they pay well to clean those bogs after a matchday!
They use a stick of Dynamite in each cubicle. 🧨
The odour would neutralise the detonator in seconds...
Quote from: FFC007 on March 25, 2026, 09:54:10 AMQuote from: Woolly Mammoth on March 24, 2026, 11:50:53 PMQuote from: FFC007 on March 24, 2026, 09:50:07 PMQuote from: _Putney_ on February 21, 2026, 05:51:23 PMQuote from: Woolly Mammoth on February 21, 2026, 04:54:43 PMQuote from: _Putney_ on February 21, 2026, 04:52:05 PMQuote from: Woolly Mammoth on February 21, 2026, 04:43:35 PMYou are welcome to have a Dump in our Hammy End Dump.
That small toilet in the hammy end, the three or four stalls, is utterly horrible every game.
Absolutely, I have to stand on the seat every time I use it.
:slap:
I genuinely feel sorry for those who have to clean it.
I hope they pay well to clean those bogs after a matchday!
They use a stick of Dynamite in each cubicle. 🧨
The odour would neutralise the detonator in seconds...
With your permission may I try this incendiary device instead. 💣 or should I go back to basics and give the premises the 🪓 AXE.
Urinals consistently get blocked, I was in touch with the club over this 2 years ago and they said they would solve the problem. Inspected them during the last game on behalf of my countries tourism and had to report they failed, one side was not draining and urine was flowing onto the standing surface.
Absolutely disgusting.
Quote from: gang on March 25, 2026, 12:44:31 PMUrinals consistently get blocked, I was in touch with the club over this 2 years ago and they said they would solve the problem. Inspected them during the last game on behalf of my countries tourism and had to report they failed, one side was not draining and urine was flowing onto the standing surface.
Absolutely disgusting.
As others have said, I cannot believe this hasn't become a bigger problem. Does the Premier League not have standards Fulham have to reach and maintain?
Maybe something will be done with the bogs in the summer break...
Obliteration hopefully.
Quote from: gang on March 25, 2026, 12:44:31 PMUrinals consistently get blocked, I was in touch with the club over this 2 years ago and they said they would solve the problem. Inspected them during the last game on behalf of my countries tourism and had to report they failed, one side was not draining and urine was flowing onto the standing surface.
Absolutely disgusting.
And the sit down bogs were full of 💩 flooding the floor.
I feel the club are completely bogged down with this issue, and have decided that as long as it doesn't effect their VIP guests and the tourists.
They are quite happy to leave us plebs literally in the Eartha Kitt without batting an eyelid, because it is only the Hammy End.
Otherwise they would have resolved the issue a long time ago.
Put the Millwall fans in the hammy end next season if they get promoted.
They'll destroy the bogs for free if we egg them on!
I agree with the club that they have limited options. Therefore, I'm going for a specially converted Routemaster bus that they drive in on match days.
Will bring a new meaning when the toilet conductor shouts'room for one more up top.'
Quote from: FFC007 on March 26, 2026, 03:01:35 PMPut the Millwall fans in the hammy end next season if they get promoted.
They'll destroy the bogs for free if we egg them on!
What kind of egg are you thinking of using, scrambled, boiled, poached or fried ?
Just do not wear sandals, and do
roll up your trousers and
you will be fine.
Definitely do not take any of the
Mint imperials on your way out.
Quote from: Woolly Mammoth on March 25, 2026, 11:35:16 PMI feel the club are completely bogged down with this issue, and have decided that as long as it doesn't effect their VIP guests and the tourists.
They are quite happy to leave us plebs literally in the Eartha Kitt without batting an eyelid, because it is only the Hammy End.
Otherwise they would have resolved the issue a long time ago.
It's the 'mushroom' method of management; they keep us in the dark and surround us with s**t....
Quote from: john dempsey on March 26, 2026, 04:44:43 PMJust do not wear sandals, and do
roll up your trousers and
you will be fine.
Definitely do not take any of the
Mint imperials on your way out.
And it's definitely not hand soap in the dispensary units by the sink.
That's if you can get to loos through all the excretions on the floor.
Quote from: ron on March 26, 2026, 06:27:07 PMQuote from: Woolly Mammoth on March 25, 2026, 11:35:16 PMI feel the club are completely bogged down with this issue, and have decided that as long as it doesn't effect their VIP guests and the tourists.
They are quite happy to leave us plebs literally in the Eartha Kitt without batting an eyelid, because it is only the Hammy End.
Otherwise they would have resolved the issue a long time ago.
It's the 'mushroom' method of management; they keep us in the dark and surround us with s**t....
I didn't think there was mushroom for that.
Quote from: FFC007 on March 26, 2026, 07:51:40 PMQuote from: john dempsey on March 26, 2026, 04:44:43 PMJust do not wear sandals, and do
roll up your trousers and
you will be fine.
Definitely do not take any of the
Mint imperials on your way out.
And it's definitely not hand soap in the dispensary units by the sink.
That's if you can get to loos through all the excretions on the floor.
Perhaps we should rename the Hammy end. The Excrement End.
On a positive note, younger fans complain that
it is impossible to do a halftime line of coke in there.
Every cloud.....
Quote from: john dempsey on March 27, 2026, 11:55:22 AMOn a positive note, younger fans complain that
it is impossible to do a halftime line of coke in there.
Every cloud.....
That's blown it
Quote from: john dempsey on March 27, 2026, 11:55:22 AMOn a positive note, younger fans complain that
it is impossible to do a halftime line of coke in there.
Every cloud.....
I wondered what that white stuff was on the floor in there? :slap:
Quote from: FFC007 on March 31, 2026, 10:53:57 PMQuote from: john dempsey on March 27, 2026, 11:55:22 AMOn a positive note, younger fans complain that
it is impossible to do a halftime line of coke in there.
Every cloud.....
I wondered what that white stuff was on the floor in there? :slap:
How did snow get in there.
Quote from: SP on March 26, 2026, 03:30:11 PMI agree with the club that they have limited options. Therefore, I'm going for a specially converted Routemaster bus that they drive in on match days.
Will bring a new meaning when the toilet conductor shouts'room for one more up top.'
Yep, one extra dose of ploppings on the floor won't make much difference....
Now they have the Riverside turnstiles open, those who pay a premium never walk past them, no need to do anything until they up the prices as the working classes gradually die off and the premium/tourists punters take over.
I was interested to read, following the FST meeting, that the club have in fact been considering two-tier toilets in the Hammersmith End. Are they referring to the fans here, and if so I'd be interested to know how any pecking order will be established, and which toilets I will qualify for?
Indeed, I read into this that some of the Hammy End toilets may be upgraded, but not others, or that some will be cleaned, whilst others will remain as they are? Either way, how will the club gauge which supporters will be allowed to use which? My guess is that we will either be means tested, or the level of toilet we can use will be based on loyalty points. I look forward to learning my fate.
Of course, if the club were considering a new construction on a second tier (yes, I do know!), then if the the upper toilets were indeed constructed in a similar manner to the existing, I would be reluctant to use the lower toilets without the protection of an umbrella.
Perhaps someone itk can enlighten us?
Quote from: FFCpmd on April 04, 2026, 10:38:09 AMI was interested to read, following the FST meeting, that the club have in fact been considering two-tier toilets in the Hammersmith End. Are they referring to the fans here, and if so I'd be interested to know how any pecking order will be established, and which toilets I will qualify for?
Indeed, I read into this that some of the Hammy End toilets may be upgraded, but not others, or that some will be cleaned, whilst others will remain as they are? Either way, how will the club gauge which supporters will be allowed to use which? My guess is that we will either be means tested, or the level of toilet we can use will be based on loyalty points. I look forward to learning my fate.
Of course, if the club were considering a new construction on a second tier (yes, I do know!), then if the the upper toilets were indeed constructed in a similar manner to the existing, I would be reluctant to use the lower toilets without the protection of an umbrella.
Perhaps someone itk can enlighten us?
An umbrella wouldn't be sufficient... body armour and plating would be a bare necessity.
Quote from: FFC007 on April 04, 2026, 11:08:58 AMQuote from: FFCpmd on April 04, 2026, 10:38:09 AMI was interested to read, following the FST meeting, that the club have in fact been considering two-tier toilets in the Hammersmith End. Are they referring to the fans here, and if so I'd be interested to know how any pecking order will be established, and which toilets I will qualify for?
Indeed, I read into this that some of the Hammy End toilets may be upgraded, but not others, or that some will be cleaned, whilst others will remain as they are? Either way, how will the club gauge which supporters will be allowed to use which? My guess is that we will either be means tested, or the level of toilet we can use will be based on loyalty points. I look forward to learning my fate.
Of course, if the club were considering a new construction on a second tier (yes, I do know!), then if the the upper toilets were indeed constructed in a similar manner to the existing, I would be reluctant to use the lower toilets without the protection of an umbrella.
Perhaps someone itk can enlighten us?
An umbrella wouldn't be sufficient... body armour and plating would be a bare necessity.
Plus a Tetanus Inoculation in both feet. Followed by an MRI Scan once a year.
No hammy end bog usage for the next game... hospitality bogs only now!
Quote from: FFC007 on April 09, 2026, 11:43:41 AMNo hammy end bog usage for the next game... hospitality bogs only now!
That is due to my Crack Bowel Movement Unit digging deeper into the Bowels of Fulham FC to establish a sensible compromise to avoid any further issues of the premises being accused of starting another plague of London, centuries after the first one revealed its ugly head.
All gone quiet on the bog front...
Quote from: FFC007 on April 16, 2026, 05:01:37 PMAll gone quiet on the bog front...
That is because they have been condemned by the Animal Kingdom as a danger to Mankind, because Toilet Rolls are refusing to work under impossible conditions, until they have been supplied with antibiotics and given a tetanus injection.
They have won awards for the last 20 years running
Running being the operative word
Quote from: FFC007 on April 09, 2026, 11:43:41 AMNo hammy end bog usage for the next game... hospitality bogs only now!
That is due to the contamination alleged by the local Dung Beetle representative who is an authority on excrement.
Have Fulham fc actually made any suggestions that these disgraceful bogs will be sorted?
They will never meet an acceptable standard until the whole HE is rebuilt.
Due to the way the current seating was built over the old terracing (originally a temporary measure I believe) the whole area underneath is a bit of a mess.
Quote from: bill taylors apprentice on April 16, 2026, 08:51:18 PMThey will never meet an acceptable standard until the whole HE is rebuilt.
Due to the way the current seating was built over the old terracing (originally a temporary measure I believe) the whole area underneath is a bit of a mess.
In more ways than one.
No wonder some of the team's performances stink.
Quote from: FFC007 on April 16, 2026, 08:33:12 PMHave Fulham fc actually made any suggestions that these disgraceful bogs will be sorted?
Apparently a spokesperson stated that they are prepared to wait for the Thames to overflow which is predicted will happen within the next 20 years and let nature take its course, and they have requested supporters to be patient regarding this matter, and will allow fans at the Excrement End to bring Bed Pans along in case of an emergency.
Quote from: bill taylors apprentice on April 16, 2026, 08:51:18 PMThey will never meet an acceptable standard until the whole HE is rebuilt.
Due to the way the current seating was built over the old terracing (originally a temporary measure I believe) the whole area underneath is a bit of a mess.
Over to Khan....
Quote from: FFC007 on April 19, 2026, 07:52:04 AMQuote from: bill taylors apprentice on April 16, 2026, 08:51:18 PMThey will never meet an acceptable standard until the whole HE is rebuilt.
Due to the way the current seating was built over the old terracing (originally a temporary measure I believe) the whole area underneath is a bit of a mess.
Over to Khan....
I am not sure if he is prepared to clean the toilet facilities at this moment in time.
You may have better luck with a former employee Craig Kline who I am to understand is looking for a cleaning job.
Anyone got any dung beetles spare?
Quote from: FFC007 on April 24, 2026, 12:38:11 PMAnyone got any dung beetles spare?
Due to the high demand I have completely sold out.
Probably accelerated by Dung Beetles themselves demanding they need a spare Dung Beetle.
Quote from: FFCpmd on April 04, 2026, 10:38:09 AMI was interested to read, following the FST meeting, that the club have in fact been considering two-tier toilets in the Hammersmith End. Are they referring to the fans here, and if so I'd be interested to know how any pecking order will be established, and which toilets I will qualify for?
Indeed, I read into this that some of the Hammy End toilets may be upgraded, but not others, or that some will be cleaned, whilst others will remain as they are? Either way, how will the club gauge which supporters will be allowed to use which? My guess is that we will either be means tested, or the level of toilet we can use will be based on loyalty points. I look forward to learning my fate.
Perhaps someone itk can enlighten us?
[quote\]
With your permission Mr FFC007, and as you are an authority on Bowel movements.
May I suggest people should be prioritised to evacuate their bowels in the following order.
1) Me, Woolly Mammoth.
2) Those that bring their own toilet roll.
3) Those with chronic diarrhoea.
4) Those who bring their own Dung Beetle.
5) Those who have just eaten a Curry.
6) Those with Irritable Bowel Syndrome.
7) Those with Acute Flatulence.
8) Those who been watching the walking football on display for more than 5 minutes.
9) Those who keep standing up in front of me as soon as on the odd occasion the players cross the half way line.
10) Anyone who wears a Top Hat.
Can I recomend the Wim Wenders film Perfect Day where the plot is based around the 17 toilets built in Tokyo for the recent Olympic Games.
Find them here. You can see what can be done. I hope you will feel inspired:
https://www.dezeen.com/2024/03/08/tokyo-toilets-wim-wenders-perfect-days/
I feel inspired.
Bet they were trashed today....
Quote from: bill taylors apprentice on April 16, 2026, 08:51:18 PMThey will never meet an acceptable standard until the whole HE is rebuilt.
Due to the way the current seating was built over the old terracing (originally a temporary measure I believe) the whole area underneath is a bit of a mess.
How old are those bogs? Last century at least?
!
Quote from: FFC007 on April 25, 2026, 09:01:05 PMQuote from: bill taylors apprentice on April 16, 2026, 08:51:18 PMThey will never meet an acceptable standard until the whole HE is rebuilt.
Due to the way the current seating was built over the old terracing (originally a temporary measure I believe) the whole area underneath is a bit of a mess.
How old are those bogs? Last century at least?
They were dug out of a swamp in Africa and shipped over to England and delivered to the banks of the River Thames, Fulham by barge just a few months after Guido Fawkes failed in his attempt to blow up the houses of parliament in the Gun Powder plot in 1605.
So that makes them approximately 421 years old.
I am surprised as they smell older than that.
I think Fulham are missing a great opportunity to sell Buckets in the club shop. :slap:
I used to wonder why people used to bring buckets into the HE in the old days, thought it was for the kids to stand on, but now I think it was for the bogs in the grounds.
Quote from: EN1 FFC on April 26, 2026, 10:32:55 AMI think Fulham are missing a great opportunity to sell Buckets in the club shop. :slap:
I used to wonder why people used to bring buckets into the HE in the old days, thought it was for the kids to stand on, but now I think it was for the bogs in the grounds.
And they still miss em when peeing everywhere...
Quote from: Colton F.C. on April 25, 2026, 09:44:38 PMLukic for me harrying, intercepting and driving forward. The pairing with Berge is often the prelude to an uninspired performance. Today was very different and possibly involving some coaching from Marco. Strong performance from ESR also.
What's that got to so with the HE toilets? ::tongue::
I'm surprised no one has injured themselves in the bogs with all the accidents and spillages in there.
Quote from: FFC007 on April 26, 2026, 06:08:37 PMI'm surprised no one has injured themselves in the bogs with all the accidents and spillages in there.
I can confirm many a Dung Beetle has, as well as the odd sewer rat.
Hammy end is the next stand to get a total bulldoze and rebuild...
Quote from: FFC007 on April 27, 2026, 09:47:37 PMHammy end is the next stand to get a total bulldoze and rebuild...
I am not sure that will allowed due to the fact that like the Cottage and the Johnny Haynes Stand, the Excrement End is protected under English Heritage as it is an Historic Site.
Quote from: Woolly Mammoth on April 28, 2026, 12:38:48 AMQuote from: FFC007 on April 27, 2026, 09:47:37 PMHammy end is the next stand to get a total bulldoze and rebuild...
I am not sure that will allowed due to the fact that like the Cottage and the Johnny Haynes Stand, the Excrement End is protected under English Heritage as it is an Historic Site.
Pre historic bogs...
According to TripAdvisor's Traveller Ranking of Arenas and Stadiums in the United Kingdom, Fulham's Craven Cottage is the best.
Quote from: FFC007 on April 27, 2026, 09:47:37 PMHammy end is the next stand to get a total bulldoze and rebuild...
Via a Bazooka followed by a Flame Thrower.
Quote from: Woolly Mammoth on May 05, 2026, 07:39:40 PMQuote from: FFC007 on April 27, 2026, 09:47:37 PMHammy end is the next stand to get a total bulldoze and rebuild...
Via a Bazooka followed by a Flame Thrower.
That would kill all the dung beetles
Quote from: FFC007 on May 06, 2026, 01:59:53 PMQuote from: Woolly Mammoth on May 05, 2026, 07:39:40 PMQuote from: FFC007 on April 27, 2026, 09:47:37 PMHammy end is the next stand to get a total bulldoze and rebuild...
Via a Bazooka followed by a Flame Thrower.
That would kill all the dung beetles
Actually it is the Dung Beetles who be will firing the Bazooka and manning the Flame Thrower.
Bogs were destroyed according to social media. Disgraceful and grotesque.
Quote from: FFC007 on May 09, 2026, 06:42:50 PMBogs were destroyed according to social media. Disgraceful and grotesque.
Perhaps the Club is going to keep it as it is, and use it as a tourist attraction.
Quote from: Woolly Mammoth on May 10, 2026, 08:18:51 AMQuote from: FFC007 on May 09, 2026, 06:42:50 PMBogs were destroyed according to social media. Disgraceful and grotesque.
Perhaps the Club is going to keep it as it is, and use it as a tourist attraction.
If there is a H and S visit conducted they'll be close forever.
Quote from: Woolly Mammoth on May 10, 2026, 08:18:51 AMQuote from: FFC007 on May 09, 2026, 06:42:50 PMBogs were destroyed according to social media. Disgraceful and grotesque.
Perhaps the Club is going to keep it as it is, and use it as a tourist attraction.
If there is a H and S visit conducted they'll be closed forever.
Quote from: FFC007 on May 10, 2026, 01:19:29 PMQuote from: Woolly Mammoth on May 10, 2026, 08:18:51 AMQuote from: FFC007 on May 09, 2026, 06:42:50 PMBogs were destroyed according to social media. Disgraceful and grotesque.
Perhaps the Club is going to keep it as it is, and use it as a tourist attraction.
If there is a H and S visit conducted they'll be closed forever.
There is a rumour floating around amongst the insect world that inhabit this swamp. That H & S refuse to attend an inspection on the grounds that they fear that they may never see the light of day again.
Quote from: Woolly Mammoth on May 10, 2026, 08:16:22 PMQuote from: FFC007 on May 10, 2026, 01:19:29 PMQuote from: Woolly Mammoth on May 10, 2026, 08:18:51 AMQuote from: FFC007 on May 09, 2026, 06:42:50 PMBogs were destroyed according to social media. Disgraceful and grotesque.
Perhaps the Club is going to keep it as it is, and use it as a tourist attraction.
If there is a H and S visit conducted they'll be closed forever.
There is a rumour floating around amongst the insect world that inhabit this swamp. That H & S refuse to attend an inspection on the grounds that they fear that they may never see the light of day again.
There's probably a lot more than that floating around in there Mr Woolley :slap:
Quote from: blingo on May 10, 2026, 09:10:38 PMQuote from: Woolly Mammoth on May 10, 2026, 08:16:22 PMQuote from: FFC007 on May 10, 2026, 01:19:29 PMQuote from: Woolly Mammoth on May 10, 2026, 08:18:51 AMQuote from: FFC007 on May 09, 2026, 06:42:50 PMBogs were destroyed according to social media. Disgraceful and grotesque.
Perhaps the Club is going to keep it as it is, and use it as a tourist attraction.
If there is a H and S visit conducted they'll be closed forever.
There is a rumour floating around amongst the insect world that inhabit this swamp. That H & S refuse to attend an inspection on the grounds that they fear that they may never see the light of day again.
There's probably a lot more than that floating around in there Mr Woolley :slap:
Exhausted dung beetles for starters ::bump:: ::bump::
Perhaps the rebuild starts after the game tomorrow!
Any sign of the builders in the Hammy end bogs?
Thought not... ::scarf:: :slap:
Quote from: FFC007 on June 11, 2026, 10:33:08 AMAny sign of the builders in the Hammy end bogs?
Thought not... ::scarf:: :slap:
The last time they were sited was three of them hanging on to a Road Cone as they slowly but gradually got sucked into the abyss.
A lone Dung Beetle out on his evening stroll threw a length of Rope lined with Italian Hemp.
So provided they can hang on to the rope for 48 hours.
The other Builders may return from Macdonalds In time to see the top of their heads disappear into the Quagmire. 🆘
The Thames is cleaner....
Quote from: blingo on May 10, 2026, 09:10:38 PMQuote from: Woolly Mammoth on May 10, 2026, 08:16:22 PMQuote from: FFC007 on May 10, 2026, 01:19:29 PMQuote from: Woolly Mammoth on May 10, 2026, 08:18:51 AMQuote from: FFC007 on May 09, 2026, 06:42:50 PMBogs were destroyed according to social media. Disgraceful and grotesque.
Perhaps the Club is going to keep it as it is, and use it as a tourist attraction.
If there is a H and S visit conducted they'll be closed forever.
There is a rumour floating around amongst the insect world that inhabit this swamp. That H & S refuse to attend an inspection on the grounds that they fear that they may never see the light of day again.
There's probably a lot more than that floating around in there Mr Woolley :slap:
My Lilo for a start, the same one I intended to use in the Riverside Stand Swimming Pool.
Quote from: Woolly Mammoth on June 13, 2026, 01:11:27 AMQuote from: blingo on May 10, 2026, 09:10:38 PMQuote from: Woolly Mammoth on May 10, 2026, 08:16:22 PMQuote from: FFC007 on May 10, 2026, 01:19:29 PMQuote from: Woolly Mammoth on May 10, 2026, 08:18:51 AMQuote from: FFC007 on May 09, 2026, 06:42:50 PMBogs were destroyed according to social media. Disgraceful and grotesque.
Perhaps the Club is going to keep it as it is, and use it as a tourist attraction.
If there is a H and S visit conducted they'll be closed forever.
There is a rumour floating around amongst the insect world that inhabit this swamp. That H & S refuse to attend an inspection on the grounds that they fear that they may never see the light of day again.
There's probably a lot more than that floating around in there Mr Woolley :slap:
My Lilo for a start, the same one I intended to use in the Riverside Stand Swimming Pool.
You'd need a lilo to swim out of the bogs in the hammy end!
Quote from: FFC007 on June 14, 2026, 06:46:15 PMQuote from: Woolly Mammoth on June 13, 2026, 01:11:27 AMQuote from: blingo on May 10, 2026, 09:10:38 PMQuote from: Woolly Mammoth on May 10, 2026, 08:16:22 PMQuote from: FFC007 on May 10, 2026, 01:19:29 PMQuote from: Woolly Mammoth on May 10, 2026, 08:18:51 AMQuote from: FFC007 on May 09, 2026, 06:42:50 PMBogs were destroyed according to social media. Disgraceful and grotesque.
Perhaps the Club is going to keep it as it is, and use it as a tourist attraction.
If there is a H and S visit conducted they'll be closed forever.
There is a rumour floating around amongst the insect world that inhabit this swamp. That H & S refuse to attend an inspection on the grounds that they fear that they may never see the light of day again.
There's probably a lot more than that floating around in there Mr Woolley :slap:
My Lilo for a start, the same one I intended to use in the Riverside Stand Swimming Pool.
You'd need a lilo to swim out of the bogs in the hammy end!
I tried that with my lilo after sunset, hoping not to be spotted by Spot the Dog on Sentry Duty.
Instead I was hunted down by first an Ant Eater then a Sloth.
I managed to dodge them by driving a Dodgem through the stools, however my Lilo perished due to the fact it wasn't lying low enough.
Perhaps :Khan_you_fix_it: may open his wallet up to purchase far superior bog roll for the loos, and maybe a full refurb!
Perhaps Mr Woolly could be chief designer!
Quote from: FFC007 on June 15, 2026, 04:53:19 PMPerhaps :Khan_you_fix_it: may open his wallet up to purchase far superior bog roll for the loos, and maybe a full refurb!
Perhaps Mr Woolly could be chief designer!
Due to Public Demand i would immediately change the Bog Rolls to be made of Sand Paper, and be coated with Itching Powder.
Latest update is that a Crack Unit of Meerkats have been stationed at every blind corner at the Excrement End of the ground to warn unsuspecting clientele of the existence of the Blob which is increasing in size as I speak.
Quote from: Woolly Mammoth on June 20, 2026, 07:46:06 AMLatest update is that a Crack Unit of Meerkats have been stationed at every blind corner at the Excrement End of the ground to warn unsuspecting clientele of the existence of the Blob which is increasing in size as I speak.
A 'crack unit'? Would that be right up their alley?
Quote from: blingo on February 22, 2026, 12:26:12 PMFFC have put up a warning sign in the aforementioned facilities. It reads:
Please do not stand on the seats, the crabs in here can jump six feet. If you think thats rather high, go next door, the b@stards fly.
That is reassuring.
Quote from: The Old Count on June 21, 2026, 12:44:18 PMQuote from: Woolly Mammoth on June 20, 2026, 07:46:06 AMLatest update is that a Crack Unit of Meerkats have been stationed at every blind corner at the Excrement End of the ground to warn unsuspecting clientele of the existence of the Blob which is increasing in size as I speak.
A 'crack unit'? Would that be right up their alley?
Only for Alley Cats
Quote from: Woolly Mammoth on June 21, 2026, 02:09:31 PMQuote from: The Old Count on June 21, 2026, 12:44:18 PMQuote from: Woolly Mammoth on June 20, 2026, 07:46:06 AMLatest update is that a Crack Unit of Meerkats have been stationed at every blind corner at the Excrement End of the ground to warn unsuspecting clientele of the existence of the Blob which is increasing in size as I speak.
A 'crack unit'? Would that be right up their alley?
Only for Alley Cats
I Would have thought the club would be already making extensive up to date changings to this particular Den of Iniquity.
Not a good look when you consider that this effects the long term loyal supporters of whom many travel away.
If nothing is done, then the whole thing stinks, if you excuse the Pun, and shows the contempt the club has for its real genuine supporters.
Quote from: White Knight on June 23, 2026, 01:20:04 PMQuote from: Woolly Mammoth on June 21, 2026, 02:09:31 PMQuote from: The Old Count on June 21, 2026, 12:44:18 PMQuote from: Woolly Mammoth on June 20, 2026, 07:46:06 AMLatest update is that a Crack Unit of Meerkats have been stationed at every blind corner at the Excrement End of the ground to warn unsuspecting clientele of the existence of the Blob which is increasing in size as I speak.
A 'crack unit'? Would that be right up their alley?
Only for Alley Cats
I Would have thought the club would be already making extensive up to date changings to this particular Den of Iniquity.
Not a good look when you consider that this effects the long term loyal supporters of whom many travel away.
If nothing is done, then the whole thing stinks, if you excuse the Pun, and shows the contempt the club has for its real genuine supporters.
It's all beyond repair. It needs a full demolition and starting again...
Quote from: FFC007 on June 23, 2026, 04:26:51 PMQuote from: White Knight on June 23, 2026, 01:20:04 PMQuote from: Woolly Mammoth on June 21, 2026, 02:09:31 PMQuote from: The Old Count on June 21, 2026, 12:44:18 PMQuote from: Woolly Mammoth on June 20, 2026, 07:46:06 AMLatest update is that a Crack Unit of Meerkats have been stationed at every blind corner at the Excrement End of the ground to warn unsuspecting clientele of the existence of the Blob which is increasing in size as I speak.
A 'crack unit'? Would that be right up their alley?
Only for Alley Cats
I Would have thought the club would be already making extensive up to date changings to this particular Den of Iniquity.
Not a good look when you consider that this effects the long term loyal supporters of whom many travel away.
If nothing is done, then the whole thing stinks, if you excuse the Pun, and shows the contempt the club has for its real genuine supporters.
It's all beyond repair. It needs a full demolition and starting again...
But what about the toilets, you
must not forget them.
Quote from: Woolly Mammoth on June 24, 2026, 12:36:49 PMQuote from: FFC007 on June 23, 2026, 04:26:51 PMQuote from: White Knight on June 23, 2026, 01:20:04 PMQuote from: Woolly Mammoth on June 21, 2026, 02:09:31 PMQuote from: The Old Count on June 21, 2026, 12:44:18 PMQuote from: Woolly Mammoth on June 20, 2026, 07:46:06 AMLatest update is that a Crack Unit of Meerkats have been stationed at every blind corner at the Excrement End of the ground to warn unsuspecting clientele of the existence of the Blob which is increasing in size as I speak.
A 'crack unit'? Would that be right up their alley?
Only for Alley Cats
I Would have thought the club would be already making extensive up to date changings to this particular Den of Iniquity.
Not a good look when you consider that this effects the long term loyal supporters of whom many travel away.
If nothing is done, then the whole thing stinks, if you excuse the Pun, and shows the contempt the club has for its real genuine supporters.
It's all beyond repair. It needs a full demolition and starting again...
But what about the toilets, you
must not forget them.
::smile::
Quote from: Woolly Mammoth on April 27, 2026, 04:41:53 AMQuote from: FFC007 on April 26, 2026, 06:08:37 PMI'm surprised no one has injured themselves in the bogs with all the accidents and spillages in there.
I can confirm many a Dung Beetle has, as well as the odd sewer rat.
I hope they have bred sufficient numbers to get back to work starting 24th August Mr Woolly.
Quote from: FFC007 on July 21, 2026, 01:35:21 PMQuote from: Woolly Mammoth on April 27, 2026, 04:41:53 AMQuote from: FFC007 on April 26, 2026, 06:08:37 PMI'm surprised no one has injured themselves in the bogs with all the accidents and spillages in there.
I can confirm many a Dung Beetle has, as well as the odd sewer rat.
I hope they have bred sufficient numbers to get back to work starting 24th August Mr Woolly.
Yes they have enlisted a whole troop of hand picked Skunks who were short listed and who have been complaining about the aroma coming from the excrement end and who have recently rolled around on a profusion of bad eggs for 24 hours to help deal with this epic matter.
They have been instructed to put all their reports in writing, smoke signals no longer accepted as we are in a smoke free zone, and that includes Pipes with Old Holborn and Old Rope.
Drain Pipes are exempt.
I can confirm that they have been reinforced by a crack unit of Wolverines who covered themselves from head to foot with endless vomit from Infantino when he looked at footage of himself wearing those white Brothel Creepers at the WC Final on Sunday and along with everyone else's vomit having to watch what was an excuse for a karaoke at the halftime period.
I'm sure they'll be spotlessly clean for the first home game...
for five minutes...
Quote from: FFC007 on July 23, 2026, 10:21:23 PMI'm sure they'll be spotlessly clean for the first home game...
for five minutes...
Your socks might be.
Quote from: FFC007 on July 23, 2026, 10:21:23 PMI'm sure they'll be spotlessly clean for the first home game...
for five minutes...
Infantino's White Brothel Creepers won't be.
I'm grateful to Holders for this quote on another thread:
"There is a still a street lamp in London directly powered by sewer gas."
So there we have it! Clearly this is the answer to the club's reluctance to upgrade the Hammersmith End toilets: demolish our toilets and a car crashes somewhere in London because a street light is suddenly extinguished!
Quote from: FFCpmd on July 26, 2026, 12:16:29 PMI'm grateful to Holders for this quote on another thread:
"There is a still a street lamp in London directly powered by sewer gas."
So there we have it! Clearly this is the answer to the club's reluctance to upgrade the Hammersmith End toilets: demolish our toilets and a car crashes somewhere in London because a street light is suddenly extinguished!
Upgrading the bogs is easy... a stick of dynamite!
Quote from: FFCpmd on July 26, 2026, 12:16:29 PMI'm grateful to Holders for this quote on another thread:
"There is a still a street lamp in London directly powered by sewer gas."
So there we have it! Clearly this is the answer to the club's reluctance to upgrade the Hammersmith End toilets: demolish our toilets and a car crashes somewhere in London because a street light is suddenly extinguished!
Alternatively, harness the sewer gas to power our floodlights and save on electricity bills.
A shame Millwall weren't promoted... they'd have destroyed the toilets in one afternoon when they visit!
Quote from: FFC007 on July 26, 2026, 06:52:18 PMA shame Millwall weren't promoted... they'd have destroyed the toilets in one afternoon when they visit!
I reckon it would have been the other way round. The aroma from the Toilets would have destroyed the whole of the Millwall Crew in the time it took to flush them all down the plug hole.
Quote from: cottage expat on July 26, 2026, 06:49:30 PMQuote from: FFCpmd on July 26, 2026, 12:16:29 PMI'm grateful to Holders for this quote on another thread:
"There is a still a street lamp in London directly powered by sewer gas."
So there we have it! Clearly this is the answer to the club's reluctance to upgrade the Hammersmith End toilets: demolish our toilets and a car crashes somewhere in London because a street light is suddenly extinguished!
Alternatively, harness the sewer gas to power our floodlights and save on electricity bills.
Perhaps an excrement recycling generator could harness all the mess and power the food outlets under the stand.
Quote from: FFCpmd on February 21, 2026, 03:05:38 PMI was interested to read that The Riverside has been nominated for a 'Hospitality & Experience Award' at the 25th Sport Industry Awards, and I felt a pang of jealousy that our own Hammersmith End facilities appear to have been overlooked for something similar. So perhaps we should nominate the Hammy End Toilets for an award of their own, at the same upcoming awards ceremony?
What categories do you think the Hammy End toilets would indeed excel at? Something along the lines of: 'Most Inconvenient Conveniences,' 'Longest Queues and Greatest Congestion Award,' 'Taking the 'P' Award,' etc? I hope you won't all resort to childish toilet humour, as I truly believe we should show solidarity with the club in striving to achieve these prestigious awards.
Why are you obsessed with toilets??? Can't you give this totally irrelevant 'subject' a rest??
We are more concerned about the forthcoming season, the loss of Wilson, who the club are going to sign and when are they going to sign and will they sign some decent, experienced players or just unheard of 16 year old school kids from Celtic??? As well as concerns about the new manager whose not filling any of us with optimism.
And you bang on about bogs.
Quote from: SuperFreeman on July 28, 2026, 05:48:35 AMQuote from: FFCpmd on February 21, 2026, 03:05:38 PMI was interested to read that The Riverside has been nominated for a 'Hospitality & Experience Award' at the 25th Sport Industry Awards, and I felt a pang of jealousy that our own Hammersmith End facilities appear to have been overlooked for something similar. So perhaps we should nominate the Hammy End Toilets for an award of their own, at the same upcoming awards ceremony?
What categories do you think the Hammy End toilets would indeed excel at? Something along the lines of: 'Most Inconvenient Conveniences,' 'Longest Queues and Greatest Congestion Award,' 'Taking the 'P' Award,' etc? I hope you won't all resort to childish toilet humour, as I truly believe we should show solidarity with the club in striving to achieve these prestigious awards.
Why are you obsessed with toilets??? Can't you give this totally irrelevant 'subject' a rest??
We are more concerned about the forthcoming season, the loss of Wilson, who the club are going to sign and when are they going to sign and will they sign some decent, experienced players or just unheard of 16 year old school kids from Celtic??? As well as concerns about the new manager whose not filling any of us with optimism.
And you bang on about bogs.
Don't worry I've sent a small cracked model of a toilet to Tony and his recruitment team as a prize for being the most useless recruitment team in the Premier, that should speed them up. 😚
No wonder Silva didn't stay around for another round of will we won't we buy a player before preseason starts.
Quote from: Woolly Mammoth on July 21, 2026, 04:55:50 PMQuote from: FFC007 on July 21, 2026, 01:35:21 PMQuote from: Woolly Mammoth on April 27, 2026, 04:41:53 AMQuote from: FFC007 on April 26, 2026, 06:08:37 PMI'm surprised no one has injured themselves in the bogs with all the accidents and spillages in there.
I can confirm many a Dung Beetle has, as well as the odd sewer rat.
I hope they have bred sufficient numbers to get back to work starting 24th August Mr Woolly.
Yes they have enlisted a whole troop of hand picked Skunks who were short listed and who have been complaining about the aroma coming from the excrement end and who have recently rolled around on a profusion of bad eggs for 24 hours to help deal with this epic matter.
They have been instructed to put all their reports in writing, smoke signals no longer accepted as we are in a smoke free zone, and that includes Pipes with Old Holborn and Old Rope.
Drain Pipes are exempt.
I can confirm that they have been reinforced by a crack unit of Wolverines who covered themselves from head to foot with endless vomit from Infantino when he looked at footage of himself wearing those white Brothel Creepers at the WC Final on Sunday and along with everyone else's vomit having to watch what was an excuse for a karaoke at the halftime period.
::scarf::
Quote from: SuperFreeman on July 28, 2026, 05:48:35 AMQuote from: FFCpmd on February 21, 2026, 03:05:38 PMI was interested to read that The Riverside has been nominated for a 'Hospitality & Experience Award' at the 25th Sport Industry Awards, and I felt a pang of jealousy that our own Hammersmith End facilities appear to have been overlooked for something similar. So perhaps we should nominate the Hammy End Toilets for an award of their own, at the same upcoming awards ceremony?
What categories do you think the Hammy End toilets would indeed excel at? Something along the lines of: 'Most Inconvenient Conveniences,' 'Longest Queues and Greatest Congestion Award,' 'Taking the 'P' Award,' etc? I hope you won't all resort to childish toilet humour, as I truly believe we should show solidarity with the club in striving to achieve these prestigious awards.
Why are you obsessed with toilets??? Can't you give this totally irrelevant 'subject' a rest??
We are more concerned about the forthcoming season, the loss of Wilson, who the club are going to sign and when are they going to sign and will they sign some decent, experienced players or just unheard of 16 year old school kids from Celtic??? As well as concerns about the new manager whose not filling any of us with optimism.
And you bang on about bogs.
Precisely you have hit your thumb nail on the head. Because the next bang you hear will be a Stick of Dynamite 🧨 plus one of these beauties 💣, and I haven't even mentioned the warehouse full of Bazookas at our disposal.
So thank you for giving us permission to bang on about bogs, because you are bang on with your comments.
Even the Dung Beatles have voted in their thousands to boycott these premises.
Plus in return to rewarding your patience, banging on about Toilets at the Hammy End.
By reading out notifications and debate and observations of this derelict monstrosity.
It takes your mind off not for the first time, less important matters like late, delayed overdue, outstanding recruitment for the approaching season.
No need to thank us, all we request is that you
keeping reading.
Thank you for your anticipated cooperation regarding this matter.
Mr Woolly bang on cue once again!
Quote from: FFC007 on July 29, 2026, 11:23:02 AMMr Woolly bang on cue once again!
There is a rumour that once the dynamite etc has done its work that a virtual toilet will be created. It consists of a hologram which will convince you that you have relieved yourself.
Quote from: SuperFreeman on July 28, 2026, 05:48:35 AMQuote from: FFCpmd on February 21, 2026, 03:05:38 PMI was interested to read that The Riverside has been nominated for a 'Hospitality & Experience Award' at the 25th Sport Industry Awards, and I felt a pang of jealousy that our own Hammersmith End facilities appear to have been overlooked for something similar. So perhaps we should nominate the Hammy End Toilets for an award of their own, at the same upcoming awards ceremony?
What categories do you think the Hammy End toilets would indeed excel at? Something along the lines of: 'Most Inconvenient Conveniences,' 'Longest Queues and Greatest Congestion Award,' 'Taking the 'P' Award,' etc? I hope you won't all resort to childish toilet humour, as I truly believe we should show solidarity with the club in striving to achieve these prestigious awards.
Why are you obsessed with toilets??? Can't you give this totally irrelevant 'subject' a rest??
We are more concerned about the forthcoming season, the loss of Wilson, who the club are going to sign and when are they going to sign and will they sign some decent, experienced players or just unheard of 16 year old school kids from Celtic??? As well as concerns about the new manager whose not filling any of us with optimism.
And you bang on about bogs.
SF, I found your personal take on this interesting. Unlike yourself, I'm not so concerned about who we do or don't sign. Yes, I'm interested to see what transfer activity unfolds, but after 63 years of regular match attendance and unwavering support through thick and thin, including following Fulham around Europe, I've long since accepted that whoever pulls on the shirt will get my full backing, provided they give everything for the team.
What I do expect, however, after paying a substantial amount for a season ticket every year, is not to have to endure such sub-standard basic facilities, or feel embarrassed by the archaic state of the Hammersmith End toilets when bringing friends, or my young granddaughter, to matches.
So forgive me if I show some concern for basic standards of hygiene; perhaps that's not quite as high on your list of priorities.
And whilst on the subject, has anyone heard anything from the club about how they intend to rectify the situation, and when? Much as I'd like them to adopt some of the more radical proposals put forward by Woolly M, FFC007, and others, I suspect these may not feature prominently in the club's current development plans.
Lastly, you refer to my "bashing on about bogs" (dictionary definition of bog: "wet, spongy ground" - rather apt indeed). Judging by the fact that my original post, while obviously tongue in cheek, has now attracted over 12,000 views and almost 200 replies, it seems the subject is rather close to many supporters' hearts.
Quote from: FFCpmd on July 29, 2026, 07:19:42 PMQuote from: SuperFreeman on July 28, 2026, 05:48:35 AMQuote from: FFCpmd on February 21, 2026, 03:05:38 PMI was interested to read that The Riverside has been nominated for a 'Hospitality & Experience Award' at the 25th Sport Industry Awards, and I felt a pang of jealousy that our own Hammersmith End facilities appear to have been overlooked for something similar. So perhaps we should nominate the Hammy End Toilets for an award of their own, at the same upcoming awards ceremony?
What categories do you think the Hammy End toilets would indeed excel at? Something along the lines of: 'Most Inconvenient Conveniences,' 'Longest Queues and Greatest Congestion Award,' 'Taking the 'P' Award,' etc? I hope you won't all resort to childish toilet humour, as I truly believe we should show solidarity with the club in striving to achieve these prestigious awards.
Why are you obsessed with toilets??? Can't you give this totally irrelevant 'subject' a rest??
We are more concerned about the forthcoming season, the loss of Wilson, who the club are going to sign and when are they going to sign and will they sign some decent, experienced players or just unheard of 16 year old school kids from Celtic??? As well as concerns about the new manager whose not filling any of us with optimism.
And you bang on about bogs.
SF, I found your personal take on this interesting. Unlike yourself, I'm not so concerned about who we do or don't sign. Yes, I'm interested to see what transfer activity unfolds, but after 63 years of regular match attendance and unwavering support through thick and thin, including following Fulham around Europe, I've long since accepted that whoever pulls on the shirt will get my full backing, provided they give everything for the team.
What I do expect, however, after paying a substantial amount for a season ticket every year, is not to have to endure such sub-standard basic facilities, or feel embarrassed by the archaic state of the Hammersmith End toilets when bringing friends, or my young granddaughter, to matches.
So forgive me if I show some concern for basic standards of hygiene; perhaps that's not quite as high on your list of priorities.
And whilst on the subject, has anyone heard anything from the club about how they intend to rectify the situation, and when? Much as I'd like them to adopt some of the more radical proposals put forward by Woolly M, FFC007, and others, I suspect these may not feature prominently in the club's current development plans.
Lastly, you refer to my "bashing on about bogs" (dictionary definition of bog: "wet, spongy ground" - rather apt indeed). Judging by the fact that my original post, while obviously tongue in cheek, has now attracted over 12,000 views and almost 200 replies, it seems the subject is rather close to many supporters' hearts.
Bravo
Quote from: Woolly Mammoth on July 29, 2026, 07:28:20 PMQuote from: FFCpmd on July 29, 2026, 07:19:42 PMQuote from: SuperFreeman on July 28, 2026, 05:48:35 AMQuote from: FFCpmd on February 21, 2026, 03:05:38 PMI was interested to read that The Riverside has been nominated for a 'Hospitality & Experience Award' at the 25th Sport Industry Awards, and I felt a pang of jealousy that our own Hammersmith End facilities appear to have been overlooked for something similar. So perhaps we should nominate the Hammy End Toilets for an award of their own, at the same upcoming awards ceremony?
What categories do you think the Hammy End toilets would indeed excel at? Something along the lines of: 'Most Inconvenient Conveniences,' 'Longest Queues and Greatest Congestion Award,' 'Taking the 'P' Award,' etc? I hope you won't all resort to childish toilet humour, as I truly believe we should show solidarity with the club in striving to achieve these prestigious awards.
Why are you obsessed with toilets??? Can't you give this totally irrelevant 'subject' a rest??
We are more concerned about the forthcoming season, the loss of Wilson, who the club are going to sign and when are they going to sign and will they sign some decent, experienced players or just unheard of 16 year old school kids from Celtic??? As well as concerns about the new manager whose not filling any of us with optimism.
And you bang on about bogs.
SF, I found your personal take on this interesting. Unlike yourself, I'm not so concerned about who we do or don't sign. Yes, I'm interested to see what transfer activity unfolds, but after 63 years of regular match attendance and unwavering support through thick and thin, including following Fulham around Europe, I've long since accepted that whoever pulls on the shirt will get my full backing, provided they give everything for the team.
What I do expect, however, after paying a substantial amount for a season ticket every year, is not to have to endure such sub-standard basic facilities, or feel embarrassed by the archaic state of the Hammersmith End toilets when bringing friends, or my young granddaughter, to matches.
So forgive me if I show some concern for basic standards of hygiene; perhaps that's not quite as high on your list of priorities.
And whilst on the subject, has anyone heard anything from the club about how they intend to rectify the situation, and when? Much as I'd like them to adopt some of the more radical proposals put forward by Woolly M, FFC007, and others, I suspect these may not feature prominently in the club's current development plans.
Lastly, you refer to my "bashing on about bogs" (dictionary definition of bog: "wet, spongy ground" - rather apt indeed). Judging by the fact that my original post, while obviously tongue in cheek, has now attracted over 12,000 views and almost 200 replies, it seems the subject is rather close to many supporters' hearts.
Bravo
There is only so much you can say about it, and now it has become boring
Quote from: alfie on July 29, 2026, 08:23:17 PMQuote from: Woolly Mammoth on July 29, 2026, 07:28:20 PMQuote from: FFCpmd on July 29, 2026, 07:19:42 PMQuote from: SuperFreeman on July 28, 2026, 05:48:35 AMQuote from: FFCpmd on February 21, 2026, 03:05:38 PMI was interested to read that The Riverside has been nominated for a 'Hospitality & Experience Award' at the 25th Sport Industry Awards, and I felt a pang of jealousy that our own Hammersmith End facilities appear to have been overlooked for something similar. So perhaps we should nominate the Hammy End Toilets for an award of their own, at the same upcoming awards ceremony?
What categories do you think the Hammy End toilets would indeed excel at? Something along the lines of: 'Most Inconvenient Conveniences,' 'Longest Queues and Greatest Congestion Award,' 'Taking the 'P' Award,' etc? I hope you won't all resort to childish toilet humour, as I truly believe we should show solidarity with the club in striving to achieve these prestigious awards.
Why are you obsessed with toilets??? Can't you give this totally irrelevant 'subject' a rest??
We are more concerned about the forthcoming season, the loss of Wilson, who the club are going to sign and when are they going to sign and will they sign some decent, experienced players or just unheard of 16 year old school kids from Celtic??? As well as concerns about the new manager whose not filling any of us with optimism.
And you bang on about bogs.
SF, I found your personal take on this interesting. Unlike yourself, I'm not so concerned about who we do or don't sign. Yes, I'm interested to see what transfer activity unfolds, but after 63 years of regular match attendance and unwavering support through thick and thin, including following Fulham around Europe, I've long since accepted that whoever pulls on the shirt will get my full backing, provided they give everything for the team.
What I do expect, however, after paying a substantial amount for a season ticket every year, is not to have to endure such sub-standard basic facilities, or feel embarrassed by the archaic state of the Hammersmith End toilets when bringing friends, or my young granddaughter, to matches.
So forgive me if I show some concern for basic standards of hygiene; perhaps that's not quite as high on your list of priorities.
And whilst on the subject, has anyone heard anything from the club about how they intend to rectify the situation, and when? Much as I'd like them to adopt some of the more radical proposals put forward by Woolly M, FFC007, and others, I suspect these may not feature prominently in the club's current development plans.
Lastly, you refer to my "bashing on about bogs" (dictionary definition of bog: "wet, spongy ground" - rather apt indeed). Judging by the fact that my original post, while obviously tongue in cheek, has now attracted over 12,000 views and almost 200 replies, it seems the subject is rather close to many supporters' hearts.
Bravo
There is only so much you can say about it, and now it has become boring
Quite so Alfie. We should all drop the matter. But perhaps outside the ground.
Quote from: alfie on July 29, 2026, 08:23:17 PMQuote from: Woolly Mammoth on July 29, 2026, 07:28:20 PMQuote from: FFCpmd on July 29, 2026, 07:19:42 PMQuote from: SuperFreeman on July 28, 2026, 05:48:35 AMQuote from: FFCpmd on February 21, 2026, 03:05:38 PMI was interested to read that The Riverside has been nominated for a 'Hospitality & Experience Award' at the 25th Sport Industry Awards, and I felt a pang of jealousy that our own Hammersmith End facilities appear to have been overlooked for something similar. So perhaps we should nominate the Hammy End Toilets for an award of their own, at the same upcoming awards ceremony?
What categories do you think the Hammy End toilets would indeed excel at? Something along the lines of: 'Most Inconvenient Conveniences,' 'Longest Queues and Greatest Congestion Award,' 'Taking the 'P' Award,' etc? I hope you won't all resort to childish toilet humour, as I truly believe we should show solidarity with the club in striving to achieve these prestigious awards.
Why are you obsessed with toilets??? Can't you give this totally irrelevant 'subject' a rest??
We are more concerned about the forthcoming season, the loss of Wilson, who the club are going to sign and when are they going to sign and will they sign some decent, experienced players or just unheard of 16 year old school kids from Celtic??? As well as concerns about the new manager whose not filling any of us with optimism.
And you bang on about bogs.
SF, I found your personal take on this interesting. Unlike yourself, I'm not so concerned about who we do or don't sign. Yes, I'm interested to see what transfer activity unfolds, but after 63 years of regular match attendance and unwavering support through thick and thin, including following Fulham around Europe, I've long since accepted that whoever pulls on the shirt will get my full backing, provided they give everything for the team.
What I do expect, however, after paying a substantial amount for a season ticket every year, is not to have to endure such sub-standard basic facilities, or feel embarrassed by the archaic state of the Hammersmith End toilets when bringing friends, or my young granddaughter, to matches.
So forgive me if I show some concern for basic standards of hygiene; perhaps that's not quite as high on your list of priorities.
And whilst on the subject, has anyone heard anything from the club about how they intend to rectify the situation, and when? Much as I'd like them to adopt some of the more radical proposals put forward by Woolly M, FFC007, and others, I suspect these may not feature prominently in the club's current development plans.
Lastly, you refer to my "bashing on about bogs" (dictionary definition of bog: "wet, spongy ground" - rather apt indeed). Judging by the fact that my original post, while obviously tongue in cheek, has now attracted over 12,000 views and almost 200 replies, it seems the subject is rather close to many supporters' hearts.
Bravo
There is only so much you can say about it, and now it has become boring
Mr Alfie, you are better than that, you know in your heart you enjoy it really. There may be only so much you
yourself can say about it. Most of the population have plenty to say about it for the benefit of health and safety, we do not want another plague of London, or a profusion of Locusts hanging around the perimeter of Craven Cottage while you are trying to read your club program.
But if I cannot talk you into reading it anymore, don't read it, then you cannot complain, move along and discuss the posters put up in Bishops Park that the local residents are having fit over.
Or better still if you want to make yourself useful.
Knock on the main door of Craven Cottage and ask Mr Cottage what he is doing about it, and before you say why don't I do that. It is because I travel by horse and cart and I am waiting for new Nose Bags to arrive for Dobbin and Neddy.
It's because you live local and by your own admittance you are bored, so it will give you something useful to do, and I would be eternally grateful.
Thank you for your anticipated cooperation regarding this matter, and I would appreciate you letting me know at your earliest convenience how your conversation went with Mr Cottage and his colleagues and associates.
Quote from: Woolly Mammoth on Today at 10:30:02 AMQuote from: alfie on July 29, 2026, 08:23:17 PMQuote from: Woolly Mammoth on July 29, 2026, 07:28:20 PMQuote from: FFCpmd on July 29, 2026, 07:19:42 PMQuote from: SuperFreeman on July 28, 2026, 05:48:35 AMQuote from: FFCpmd on February 21, 2026, 03:05:38 PMI was interested to read that The Riverside has been nominated for a 'Hospitality & Experience Award' at the 25th Sport Industry Awards, and I felt a pang of jealousy that our own Hammersmith End facilities appear to have been overlooked for something similar. So perhaps we should nominate the Hammy End Toilets for an award of their own, at the same upcoming awards ceremony?
What categories do you think the Hammy End toilets would indeed excel at? Something along the lines of: 'Most Inconvenient Conveniences,' 'Longest Queues and Greatest Congestion Award,' 'Taking the 'P' Award,' etc? I hope you won't all resort to childish toilet humour, as I truly believe we should show solidarity with the club in striving to achieve these prestigious awards.
Why are you obsessed with toilets??? Can't you give this totally irrelevant 'subject' a rest??
We are more concerned about the forthcoming season, the loss of Wilson, who the club are going to sign and when are they going to sign and will they sign some decent, experienced players or just unheard of 16 year old school kids from Celtic??? As well as concerns about the new manager whose not filling any of us with optimism.
And you bang on about bogs.
SF, I found your personal take on this interesting. Unlike yourself, I'm not so concerned about who we do or don't sign. Yes, I'm interested to see what transfer activity unfolds, but after 63 years of regular match attendance and unwavering support through thick and thin, including following Fulham around Europe, I've long since accepted that whoever pulls on the shirt will get my full backing, provided they give everything for the team.
What I do expect, however, after paying a substantial amount for a season ticket every year, is not to have to endure such sub-standard basic facilities, or feel embarrassed by the archaic state of the Hammersmith End toilets when bringing friends, or my young granddaughter, to matches.
So forgive me if I show some concern for basic standards of hygiene; perhaps that's not quite as high on your list of priorities.
And whilst on the subject, has anyone heard anything from the club about how they intend to rectify the situation, and when? Much as I'd like them to adopt some of the more radical proposals put forward by Woolly M, FFC007, and others, I suspect these may not feature prominently in the club's current development plans.
Lastly, you refer to my "bashing on about bogs" (dictionary definition of bog: "wet, spongy ground" - rather apt indeed). Judging by the fact that my original post, while obviously tongue in cheek, has now attracted over 12,000 views and almost 200 replies, it seems the subject is rather close to many supporters' hearts.
Bravo
There is only so much you can say about it, and now it has become boring
Mr Alfie, you are better than that, you know in your heart you enjoy it really. There may be only so much you
yourself can say about it. Most of the population have plenty to say about it for the benefit of health and safety, we do not want another plague of London, or a profusion of Locusts hanging around the perimeter of Craven Cottage while you are trying to read your club program.
But if I cannot talk you into reading it anymore, don't read it, then you cannot complain, move along and discuss the posters put up in Bishops Park that the local residents are having fit over.
Or better still if you want to make yourself useful.
Knock on the main door of Craven Cottage and ask Mr Cottage what he is doing about it, and before you say why don't I do that. It is because I travel by horse and cart and I am waiting for new Nose Bags to arrive for Dobbin and Neddy.
It's because you live local and by your own admittance you are bored, so it will give you something useful to do, and I would be eternally grateful.
Thank you for your anticipated cooperation regarding this matter, and I would appreciate you letting me know at your earliest convenience how your conversation went with Mr Cottage and his colleagues and associates.
Well I knocked and he said he will only communicate with your good self, as you appear to be the leader and driving force of the "Bog brigade".