What do Chelsea have in common with Pele?
They can only manage a semi.
Why is managing Chelsea like having an ungrateful girlfriend?
Because no matter how many times you come second, you still get dumped.
Chelsea fans. Save money on expensive new kits each season by simply strapping a large fake penis to your forehead. It is now clear to all, who you support !
Inter Milan manager Jose Mourinho has branded his former Chelsea striker Didier Drogba a diver.... what next? Drogba is black!!!
I just went in to my flatmates room to see him crying whilst carefully thumbing streamers back into the shell of a party popper.
I had to laugh, I hate Chelsea fans.
Out of respect for his mum, Frank Lampard did not play for Chelsea that weekend. Avram Grant was quoted as saying, "Frank will be making his usual contribution to the team."
Chelsea losing the Champions League final wasn't such a bad thing for Frank Lampard - he'd had a few weeks to practice his sad face.
Apparently, Roman Abramovic offered to send the Chelsea squad on an expenses paid holiday to Florida but they said they'd rather go to Blackpool so they could see what it's like to ride on an open-top bus.
