Dear Fulham Football Club,
It has come to the notice of the Football Association, the Premier League and the football media that Fulham Football Club has been getting ideas above their station over the past two seasons.
You no longer seem to be content with 30 second slots on MOTD, a couple of FA and league cup games a season, an annual relegation struggle, a set of journeyman players and an occasional international player, slightly past his sell-by date and a manager with a major tactical defect.
It has come to our attention that you have been playing attractive football, developing the natural talent of your players and playing in an organized, structured way that has led to success, both in England and in European competitions. You have blatantly signed a top European manager, Roy Hodgson, without our prior agreement and he has been the instigator of this troublemaking. It is not acceptable that Fulham finish in the top 10 of the Premier league or reach the finals of the Europa league, beating the likes of Juventus, Hamburg, Wolfsburg and Shaktar Donetsk, especially in a year where none of our cherished top 4 clubs managed to reach a European final. This has accentuated the exposure of Fulham on TV and in the newspapers. We have even been obliged to show regular Fulham matches live. This has got to stop. The money you have received from this success has only served to fuel Fulham's ambitions, upsetting the status quo of the recognized Premier League hierarchy.
To add insult to injury, your fans have contributed by being voted the best-behaved fans in the country and your manager somehow managed to be voted manager of the year by his peers.
We have therefore decided that you need to be brought down a peg or two and realize your true station in life and in the football league. We have actively encouraged Liverpool to usurp your manager. You will be entitled to replace him, but we strongly advise that you do not select an over-ambitious candidate.
You will be allowed to keep the money you have won and earned over the past two seasons but it must not be used to buy active international players under the age of 30, unless they come from a country whose name terminates in "stan".
Your key players will be coveted and bought by clubs all over Europe in order to minimize the risk of a repeat of this success. You will accept these advances with good grace. Again, you will be allowed to retain monies obtained from these transactions, with the above proviso applicable.
Please expect future excitement levels of your fans to be returned to the "normal" level of relegation great escapes and the occasional win against larger better clubs than yourself.
In return for your accordance with, and your acceptance of, this directive, you will be allowed one away win against the club of your choice in the coming season, three (3) top billings on MOTD and some subtle refereeing overlooks to ensure you aren't relegated in the coming season. Beyond that, you are on your own.
Yours almost sincerely
The Premier League.
Nice one :clap_hands:
Good to see that prolonged exposure to France has not had too much impact on your humour!
the scary thing is,this is how "other" teams look at us,stuff them I say,COME ON FULHAM :clap_hands: :clap_hands:
Magnifique travail de M. Fox :045:
Excellent.
Though a little too close to the truth for more than a wry smile.
Well done foxy.
Sounds like a genuine letter to me. They are out to get us. Well done Mr Fox for exposing what we all knew but were scared to see. No I mean exposing the other thing we all knew but were scared to see.
Outstanding mate. You should get that up on TFI to stop the bickering for a while.
Oh Mr. French, you know we americans don't understand english humour... I thought it was an actual letter... Come to think of it, I still do even after the big reveal... evil forces are at work, I was actually finding the silver lining to being out of Europe next season was that woy could concentrate all his forces on the league by adding a few promising summer signings to our solid group of over achievers. Now it's all gone tits up... WTF??? PHuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuudge.
Silver lining to the foxy devil. What a wag that fox has got. Merveilleux in Wolverhampton!
Nogood "cadno" Boyo
