You know you are getting old when you see David Dimbleby on television and he looks older than you remember his dad, Richard.
You know you are getting old when one of your young Facebook friends asks you who The Beatles are? You know you are getting old when people say today is the 70th anniversary of the Blitz and you have to confess that you lived through it.
Bloody hell!
you know your getting old when ...
now what did I come in here for?
its ok, i put the kettle in the fridge this morning
...three pints is your limit, rather than the 10 you used to manage in your yoof.
You know you are getting old when you start a sentence and ..........forget what it was you were going to write.
You know you are getting old when that bloke who was in the, oh the thing that was on last night,you know? He used to be married to that woman who you liked. You know? She was in that series with that dog with a limp. Anyway he died last week and you thought he died years ago.
You know you are getting old when you want to spend a penny but decide to wait until there is something else you need to do on the way.
You know you are getting old when you look at the clock, think of what it is you need to do, and an hour has passed when you decide to do it.
You know you are getting old when the highlight of your day is deciding what to watch on television.
You know you are getting old when you no longer watch soap operas because you know you will end before it does.
You know you are getting old when you remember the time Doctors and Policeman and Politicians were trusted.
You know you are getting old when you want to spend a penny. But have waited to long for something to do on the way.
I knew I was sold when the team I support in Sweden appointed a manager younger than me :026:
you know that your old when the actor who plays James Bond is younger than you
or you relate to "last of the summer wine"
You know you are old when you go the hair dressers and they don't ask how you want it!
your arms are too short to read the newspaper.
you HAVE to trim your nose hairs and your eyebrows start to look like a furry wombat
Quote from: RidgeRider on September 07, 2010, 02:59:12 PM
you to have trim your nose hairs and your eyebrows start to look like a furry wombat
You go for a check up at the hospital and they ask for a urine and stool samples, you say "what did they say?" your Missus says "Leave your underpants with reception" :005:
Quote from: epsomraver on September 07, 2010, 03:05:53 PM
Quote from: RidgeRider on September 07, 2010, 02:59:12 PM
you to have trim your nose hairs and your eyebrows start to look like a furry wombat
You go for a check up at the hospital and they ask for a urine and stool samples, you say "what did they say?" your Missus says "Leave your underpants with reception" :005:
:011:
The best definition of getting older is: "When it takes you all night to do what you used to do all night."
Quote from: HatterDon on September 07, 2010, 03:15:23 PM
The best definition of getting older is: "When it takes you all night to do what you used to do all night."
Sleep? I've heard insomnia is just around the corner. :dft012:
When you say something to your teenager that was a carbon copy of what your parents said to you.
When you think that Elm and Eddie would be a great pairing against anyone except the Reading Reserves.
Right HD? :58:
You see a mother and daughter and find the mother more attractive than the daughter.... I haven't yet got to the stage of grandmother and mother but I'm sure Corked Hat will enlighten us on that particular problem.
When you've just spent £38 on the internet on something called sport skins (the shorts) in the hope you might still be able to play football. Never heard of them till a couple of hours ago, but told one of my mates i've decided to play tonight and he told me about these skin things. If they're any good i'm going to get the tee shirt version.
When this song ...
http://www.funnyinside.com/mlpic481.shtml (http://www.funnyinside.com/mlpic481.shtml)
... is your song.
When the fart turns out to catch you by complete surprise and contains a little more excess residue than what it used to... :046:
.. when you read the autobiography of some old politician/footballer, and it suddenly hits you that you lived through the days he is talking about in his youth !!
You know you are getting old when the son of the player you saw make his debut retires.
How about when you get off the train, hoist your rucksack onto your back, bend down to pick up the tent and a member of the platform staff asks you if you need any help.
She meant well, but it was a crushing moment, I can tell you.
Still, as I always say, there is only one thing worse than getting old, and that is not getting old.
Quote from: FatFreddysCat on September 07, 2010, 04:11:57 PM
When you've just spent £38 on the internet on something called sport skins (the shorts) in the hope you might still be able to play football. Never heard of them till a couple of hours ago, but told one of my mates i've decided to play tonight and he told me about these skin things. If they're any good i'm going to get the tee shirt version.
Fred, these are also called 'compression' pants, shorts, socks. They are used for recovery after a hard workout. I use them for cycling but never considered using them for while I was riding. They don't hide much so....be careful. :dft012:
Quote from: epsomraver on September 07, 2010, 01:42:50 PM
You know you are old when you go the hair dressers and they don't ask how you want it!
You know you're
old when you don't have to go there any more....!
Quote from: Lighthouse on September 07, 2010, 05:30:28 PM
You know you are getting old when the son of the player you saw make his debut retires.
I do more than this on two continents. After three three-generation Major League baseball families in my lifetime, I now have three generations of Hateley's I've seen play football in the UK.
You know you are getting old when you realise that the 80's was .......
30 years ago, how damn shocking !!!!!
Quote from: RidgeRider on September 07, 2010, 06:46:39 PM
Quote from: FatFreddysCat on September 07, 2010, 04:11:57 PM
When you've just spent £38 on the internet on something called sport skins (the shorts) in the hope you might still be able to play football. Never heard of them till a couple of hours ago, but told one of my mates i've decided to play tonight and he told me about these skin things. If they're any good i'm going to get the tee shirt version.
Fred, these are also called 'compression' pants, shorts, socks. They are used for recovery after a hard workout. I use them for cycling but never considered using them for while I was riding. They don't hide much so....be careful. :dft012:
I feel a bit younger now, played tonight (badly) but so far no bad feeling from the hernia :54: . Even though i was crap, i loved playing again after a couple of months off, just hope i dont regret it tomorrow :002: .
Quote from: FatFreddysCat on September 07, 2010, 10:22:09 PM
Quote from: RidgeRider on September 07, 2010, 06:46:39 PM
Quote from: FatFreddysCat on September 07, 2010, 04:11:57 PM
When you've just spent £38 on the internet on something called sport skins (the shorts) in the hope you might still be able to play football. Never heard of them till a couple of hours ago, but told one of my mates i've decided to play tonight and he told me about these skin things. If they're any good i'm going to get the tee shirt version.
Fred, these are also called 'compression' pants, shorts, socks. They are used for recovery after a hard workout. I use them for cycling but never considered using them for while I was riding. They don't hide much so....be careful. :dft012:
I feel a bit younger now, played tonight (badly) but so far no bad feeling from the hernia :54: . Even though i was crap, i loved playing again after a couple of months off, just hope i dont regret it tomorrow :002: .
Hey, at least you're out there having a go. After the game is the time to wear the skin suits. It is supposed to accelerate recovery and healing. I found they to help.
Quote from: RidgeRider on September 07, 2010, 11:01:13 PM
Quote from: FatFreddysCat on September 07, 2010, 10:22:09 PM
Quote from: RidgeRider on September 07, 2010, 06:46:39 PM
Quote from: FatFreddysCat on September 07, 2010, 04:11:57 PM
When you've just spent £38 on the internet on something called sport skins (the shorts) in the hope you might still be able to play football. Never heard of them till a couple of hours ago, but told one of my mates i've decided to play tonight and he told me about these skin things. If they're any good i'm going to get the tee shirt version.
Fred, these are also called 'compression' pants, shorts, socks. They are used for recovery after a hard workout. I use them for cycling but never considered using them for while I was riding. They don't hide much so....be careful. :dft012:
I feel a bit younger now, played tonight (badly) but so far no bad feeling from the hernia :54: . Even though i was crap, i loved playing again after a couple of months off, just hope i dont regret it tomorrow :002: .
Hey, at least your out there having a go. After the game is the time to wear the skin suits. It is supposed to accelerate recovery and healing. I found they to help.
Its due for delivery some time next week.How long do you wear it for after
Quote from: FatFreddysCat on September 07, 2010, 11:06:38 PM
Quote from: RidgeRider on September 07, 2010, 11:01:13 PM
Quote from: FatFreddysCat on September 07, 2010, 10:22:09 PM
Quote from: RidgeRider on September 07, 2010, 06:46:39 PM
Quote from: FatFreddysCat on September 07, 2010, 04:11:57 PM
When you've just spent £38 on the internet on something called sport skins (the shorts) in the hope you might still be able to play football. Never heard of them till a couple of hours ago, but told one of my mates i've decided to play tonight and he told me about these skin things. If they're any good i'm going to get the tee shirt version.
Fred, these are also called 'compression' pants, shorts, socks. They are used for recovery after a hard workout. I use them for cycling but never considered using them for while I was riding. They don't hide much so....be careful. :dft012:
I feel a bit younger now, played tonight (badly) but so far no bad feeling from the hernia :54: . Even though i was crap, i loved playing again after a couple of months off, just hope i dont regret it tomorrow :002: .
Hey, at least your out there having a go. After the game is the time to wear the skin suits. It is supposed to accelerate recovery and healing. I found they to help.
Its due for delivery some time next week.How long do you wear it for after
some say only for an hour afterwards, however I tend to wear them much longer and after a really hard ride, where my legs feel like rubber afterwards I may wear them to sleep. The whole idea is to keep the muscles close, rather than hanging as they do away from the body, this allows more blood to flow through the muscle tissue which promotes healing.
.....when your asparagus veins are bursting out of your compression pants and you can't believe it's not butt butter!!!!!
Nogood "what we talkin' about, isit" Boyo
I knew I was past it when an old lady in the village had to drive me home when I was overcome by the heat in the main street. She is older than me – and Silver Fox I am into great grandmothers these days, don't worry about grandmothers. :dft007:
Quote from: finnster01 on September 07, 2010, 04:43:10 PM
When the fart turns out to catch you by complete surprise and contains a little more excess residue than what it used to... :046:
Way too much information Finn... (I'm not owning up to that one yet ! )
When you cant be bothered to argue back.
When you need help to change your incontinence pants
When your eyes can do more than your old chap can
When you simply can not read without your glasses
When you have to take half a viagra tablet every night to stop you falling out of bed.
Quote from: GoldCoastWhite on September 08, 2010, 10:08:57 AM
Quote from: finnster01 on September 07, 2010, 04:43:10 PM
When the fart turns out to catch you by complete surprise and contains a little more excess residue than what it used to... :046:
Way too much information Finn... (I'm not owning up to that one yet ! )
It's lucky we didn't win the Europa league after my follow through on the Reeperbahn, with my football superstions i'd have had to replicate that at every match i go to until we lost.
That wudda bin a bit of a sh1t eh Fredster? :002:
Old Penis Poem
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My nookie days are over
My pilot light is out
What used to be my sex appeal
Is now my water spout.
Time was when, on its own accord
From my trousers it would spring
But now I've got a full-time job
To find the blasted thing.
It used to be embarrassing
The way it would behave
For every single morning
It would stand and watch me shave.
Now as old age approaches
It sure gives me the blues
To see it hang its little head
And watch me tie my shoes.
Quote from: FatFreddysCat on September 08, 2010, 11:02:26 AM
Quote from: GoldCoastWhite on September 08, 2010, 10:08:57 AM
Quote from: finnster01 on September 07, 2010, 04:43:10 PM
When the fart turns out to catch you by complete surprise and contains a little more excess residue than what it used to... :046:
Way too much information Finn... (I'm not owning up to that one yet ! )
It's lucky we didn't win the Europa league after my follow through on the Reeperbahn, with my football superstions i'd have had to replicate that at every match i go to until we lost.
I've had a bit of a shite day today but this has just picked me up!
Thanks for the entertainment lads :dft009:
