I've just been to a disgusting pub called "The Fiddle".
It really was a vile inn.
It obviously didn't have a comedian in there. Get your coat
The wife has been missing a week now.
The police said to prepare for the worst.
So I have just been to the charity shop to get all her clothes back!!
I was going to look for my missing watch, but I can never find the time.
Quote from: Andy S on August 17, 2018, 11:47:28 AM
It obviously didn't have a comedian in there. Get your coat
Some people think there are insects on the Moon.
Lunar tics.
There - I'll get my coat now.
:Get Coat gif:
093.gif I was in Waterstones behind a chap who asked if they sell "Audio books, with sub-titles". The member of staff thought for a second and then replied "You mean a BOOK"!!?
:yay:. :dead horse:
Quote from: Burt on August 17, 2018, 12:26:18 PM
Quote from: Andy S on August 17, 2018, 11:47:28 AM
It obviously didn't have a comedian in there. Get your coat
Some people think there are insects on the Moon.
Lunar tics.
There - I'll get my coat now.
:Get Coat gif:
Ticks are arachnids not insects.
"I say I say I say, my wife went to Wiltshire".
"Your wife went to Wiltshire - Jamaica?"
"No, she went of her own Devizes".
My mum met my dad in a gay bar unfortunately they'd already been married 11 years.
Don't trust Atoms, they make up everything.
I went to my doctor about my weight,
He said "Don't eat anything fatty"
I replied "You mean burgers, bacon etc" ?
He said "No Fatty, don't eat anything"
My wife told me my clothes look very gay today.I told her they've just come out of the closet.
For sale
50" Ultra Hd tv 6 months old
Only £100
Volume control broke
Still you can't turn it down at that price
You can always tune a piano,
But you can't tuna fish.
I'm sure my mate is having an affair with my wife.
He's been proper miserable lately.
Where does napoleon keep his armies?
In his sleeveies!
Sent from my SM-G950F using Tapatalk
Bloke threw a bomb into a pet shop, and shouted, " you have two minutes to vacate the premises".
A Parrott replied " that doesn't give the Tortoise much chance ".
What do you get when a chicken looks at a lettuce?
Chicken Caesar Salad
I woke up this morning and forgot which side the sun rises, then it dawned on me.
My Pet Grizzly Bear is slowly recovering from his illness, but he is not out of the woods yet.
Waking up this morning was an eye opening experience.
