Cold Cottage Pie (worth a read)

[Admin]

It was with a sense of inevitability that I boarded the 1:15pm train from Clapham Junction to Putney en route to Craven Cottage, home of Fulham Football Club.

It's a lovely place. Sitting on the Thames, surrounded by parkland and affluence. Not to mention a plentiful supply of welcoming pubs in which to prepare for the inevitable loss. We haven't won there in the league since Charles and Eddie were number 1 in the charts with 'Would I Lie to You?'

Never before had I gone to a Bolton game so secure in the knowledge that my team would lose. And, in all probability, lose without putting up a fight, or showing any modicum of organisation. And so it proved.

I even considered writing the report before the game started. In fact, kudos to The Wanderer forum poster Officer_Dibble for suggesting I do just that, and even providing me with the following soundbites a full three days before kick off: "We'll start off ok for a couple of minutes, concede early doors, lose our heads and another goal ... Fulham will ease off. We'll be bright for 10 mins after half time ... Fulham will take it easy and coast the game out after a midweek match."

Well, ladies and gentlemen; there you have it. So poor is our team at present that a lowly forum member (no disrespect, OD) can almost impeccably predict what will happen when we take to the field 72 hours before we do so. The only thing missing was the bit where we look bright for 10 minutes. That didn't really materialise.

As I sat in the Eight Bells (a lovely pub) the team news filtered through. As ever, Mr Coyle had opted to mix things up - a sign that 16 games into the season the gaffer still hasn't settled on his team of choice. Out went Eagles. Tuncay, Robinson, to be replace by Reo Coker, Muamba and Alonso. Baffling. Pratley and Davies retained their places, although neither man lasted 90 minutes. This was inevitable. Neither player was close to being good enough.

From the off, it was as wearily predictable as rain on a bank holiday. Fat Frank took his top off. And Fulham seized the initiative early on, with Andy Johnson finding it all to easy to scurry around, through and behind our 'back four' (I use this term loosely). Thankfully, his efforts were in vain, failing to convert when twice clean through – but the writing was on the wall. And the writing said: "Give us a couple of minutes and you'll be two goals down."

Then it happened. A cross from Fulham's right headed beyond a despairing Jaaskelainen (really - a chance created and converted against our left back? Who saw that coming?). Two minutes later and the scoreline gave a truer reflection of how the game was going. A deft chip from Bryan Ruiz put the game beyond Bolton just 35 minutes in. Surely the club could save Bolton fans a lot of pain by simply agreeing to start league games from half time, with Bolton two goals behind?

Not that there weren't Bolton chances, however. Mark Davies and Muamba had sights of goal, and the former really ought to have converted to reduce the deficit. But the team lacked organisation; lacked passion; and lacked belief. They didn't believe they could score.

That makes it 18 defeats for Bolton in 21 Premier League games. Regular Wanderer users may be aware I run a light-hearted podcast called The Men in White (available in all good iTunes stores); but as I sat in silence alongside my co-presenter as the rain started to fall, it was hard to think of where our next laugh might come from. We knew we would lose, yet we paid our money, took our seat, and watched it unfold. It was inevitable.

In short, something needs to change. The players looked like they had never met before; it was hard to see where goals were going to come from; and there was less leadership and passion on display than at a Liberal Democrat party conference. I suspect it is too late for Bolton to turn this season around, but we will know for sure at 10pm on Tuesday night after the Blackburn game. Whatever team Mr Coyle picks, they will be playing in one of the most important games in Bolton's recent history.

[The Bronsons]

However much you like or dislike a club - and Bolton have never exactly been a favourite of mine - writing like this brings it home that at heart most football fans are good people who pay to suffer. Nice piece, thanks for posting it.

[The Equalizer]

Wow, fantastic reading. Are you sure the guy isn't a Fulham supporter? That's the kind of report I used to expect every week!

[Admin]

I've been looking at a few Bolton forums to see their reaction after Sturdays game. http://www.the-wanderer.co.uk/ seems a nice, down to earth place just like FOF. I've got a little soft spot for Bolton so stuck a post on their to get some feedback as they really do look poor this season and they could be heading down.

[LBNo11]

...never had a problem with notloB, but I loathed Fat Sam and even now I think Bolton and Allardyce. They look royally screwed at the moment and are probably Wanderers the worst side I have ever seen, nobody with a heart wants a fellow fan to suffer (well apart from fans of the dark side, oh! and Gillingham, and man ure of course, and don't spuds fans get on your nerves for being so arrogant, and don't get me started on Stoke and Cardiff - sorry, where was I?) do they...

[finnster01]

...never had a problem with notloB, but I loathed Fat Sam and even now I think Bolton and Allardyce. They look royally screwed at the moment and are probably Wanderers the worst side I have ever seen, nobody with a heart wants a fellow fan to suffer (well apart from fans of the dark side, oh! and Gillingham, and man ure of course, and don't spuds fans get on your nerves for being so arrogant, and don't get me started on Stoke and Cardiff - sorry, where was I?) do they...

You missed Derby and Liverpool mate. I have not the fondest feelings for that lot.

[LBNo11]

...and of course Derby, thanks for the reminder Finn. Re your pet hate though, when they came to Craven Cottage just after The Maestro died they were impeccable in their respect for the fans who mourned their favourite son, and those who saw my Haynes scarf commented positively and knew their history. Different time-line and people from your experiences Finn, but I saw them in a different light...

[Burt]

It's a great piece. And to The Bronsons comment, a good reminder that every club has it's own band of die-hards prepared to follow their beloved through thick and thin. To the extent that you get quite resigned / philosophical to your fate.

[Burt]

...and of course Derby, thanks for the reminder Finn. Re your pet hate though, when they came to Craven Cottage just after The Maestro died they were impeccable in their respect for the fans who mourned their favourite son, and those who saw my Haynes scarf commented positively and knew their history. Different time-line and people from your experiences Finn, but I saw them in a different light...

Never forgiven Derby for that abandoned match at the Baseball.

Interestingly, I am 5 weeks in to my new job and just learnt that my boss is Derby through and through, been following them since 1957.

[cebu]

Reading that makes you realize among other things how lucky we are to have our sugar daddy.