Joke

[Peabody]

Just thought I would try and ease the tension prior to tonight by telling a joke.

A man had boarded a plane and was sat next to an attractive young lady. He noticed that she was reading a book called "Lots of things you did'nt know", good book? he asked, yes she said, did you know that the person with the longest penis was an American Red Indian and the man with the widest girth was an Irishman. By the way she said, my name is Helen and you are. He replied Tonto Murphy! COYW

[Rambling_Syd_Rumpo]

LOVE IT ;D

[boxhockcycsock]

Haha, definitely going to have to remember that one! Thanks!  ;D

[The Swan]

A man with only one arm is walking along with a light bulb.His friend meets him and says where are you going. The one armed man says he is going to change the light bulb. His friend says that will be difficult. The one armed man replies, thats alright I have got the receipt.

[FC Silver Fox]

Billy Connolly quotes :
'If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking, how come they can't have a
headache and sex at the same time?'

Honestly some folk will take offence at anything, I met a bloke with no legs this morning while at the bus stop, all I asked was "How are you getting  on?"

Paddy was in the delivery room when the midwife handed him a black baby.
"Is this yours?" she asked "probably" said Paddy "she burns everything  else"

A gypsy girl sent an email to an agony Aunt "I am 12 years old and  haven't  had sex yet, do you think my brother is gay ?"

My missus has just gone into hospital with 2 black eyes and a broken jaw! It seems we were on different wavelengths when she said she wanted decking on the patio

Sex therapist claims that the most effective way to arouse your man is to spend 10 minutes licking his ears!! Personally I think its bollôcks!!

They reckon that Beer contains female hormones and I think they are right.
After 8 pints I talk crap and can't drive!

Vicar booking into a hotel asks the receptionist "Is the Porn channel in my room disabled ?" "No" she replies "its just regular porn you sick bast**rd"

A mate of mine has just told me he's shagging his girlfriend and her twin, I said how can you tell them apart, he said "her brothers got a moustache!"

A biker goes to the Doctor with hearing problems "Can you describe the symptoms to me". "Yes.......Homer is a fat yellow lazy barsteward and Marg is a skinny bird with big blue hair!!"

My black-eye & fat lip suggests that 'up the backside'....was definitely the wrong answer, when my girlfriend asked me 'where are you taking me for  my birthday?'

And then there was my mate who'd just been fitted with a brand new hearing aid. "It's the best in the world", he said. "What type is it?", I asked and  he said "ten past twelve".

[os5889]

Another joke - The Ful-On Sale

New lines added (1 top...)

http://shop.fulhamfc.com/retailprods.aspx?cat=60&h=20

What a load of cats twaddle