NFR: Help Required

[SP]

For many years our little oasis of calm & refuge at work, often simply refered to as the 2nd floor Gents Toilet, but for me it's been far more than that.  Many a time I've read the paper while on the throne enjoying the peace & quiet away from the phones.   

Unfortunately of late this calm has been shattered as a toilet bandit is hitting the toilets & hitting them hard.  This is made worse by the fact it's tight in there with only 2 urinals & 2 cubicles.

I nipped in last night & almost gagged as I hit a wall of bottom odour, with the culprit washing his hands. Judging by the smell he really must've splattered the pan.  Now, what could I say as I fought back the tears?  As he's slightly more senior to me I chose some small talk or other as I spoke to him through the mist, what should I have said? 

:020:

[WhiteJC]

"what aftershave do you use? because its not strong enough"  :020:

[horse1031]

you might have to beckon it a little sooner and get in before he does!

[WHITEwitch]

Buy him a pot of Regucol and present it with a nice ribbon attached?

alternatively - 'wanna buya newt.....?'  Cheap................don't need it for Spuds any more.

[MOR :]

The match method really works well. The scent comes from methane gas which the match will gladly use for fuel. Remember though that methane is heavier than our air, so you may have to move the match around the interior of the toilet bowl to removed all of the gas.

Get yourself a can of Oust and OUST IT!