NFR: Best Way to Secure an Allotment Shed?

[Berserker]

Yet again my shed, plus 16 others, down the allotment where i have my plot have had there locks ripped off. Has anybody got any advice on the best method to secure my shed, or is it not worth bothering with a lock? Sorry it's not football related but i'm getting desperate and feel like giving up my allotment.

[epsomraver]

If you have a frequent problem then best take all tools home and leave door unlocked, there is only so much a hasp and staple can do and it's usually pykies looking for tools.

[HatterDon]

Here's a thread that'll flummox the hell out of mah fellow 'mericans!  064.gif

[Lighthouse]

Pay me to guard the allotment each night. I have experience.

[tommy]

Take it from someone that installs CCTV and such like, nothing works apart from a very big dog and seeing that you can't leave a dog on the allotment, I'd say don't leave anything in there worth stealing and just leave it unlocked.

[ron]

Just another example of how pikeydom has the upper hand over the innocent pleasure of others.

It's probably the tools/metal that they are looking for....I returned home to see a er..um.. traveller take my builders' wheelbarrow from my front garden (when an extension was being built), chuck it in the back of the lorry and drive off. Rather than pursue them I reported the number to the police, but seeing as the builder didn't want to prefer charges of theft, they got away with it. The police did caution them though.

So really the only defence we have as citizens is to ensure charges are preferred in all cases wherever possible.

...and of course live in the Stone Age by not having any possessions worth stealing !

[Lighthouse]

Or give your possessions to me. I have experience.

[Me-ate-Live, innit??]

Get an electric fence ( with farmers going out of business,  you could pick up one real cheap)
fry the bleeders !!!

[Rupert]

Or give your possessions to me. I have experience.

When you say "experience", on which side of the padlocked shed door are we talking about?

Berserker, what you have to do here is quite simple. First of all, cosy up to one of our supporters from the US of A, preferably one from the southern states or, at a pinch, California. Invite them to come over for a match and offer them a spare bed at your place. They will be thrilled by this, and will ask if there is a suitable house-present they can bring you. Why, yes, you reply, a semi-automatic rifle with half a dozen magazines of ammunition.
Once the trip is over, you take the rifle, a carving knife and a sleeping bag down to the allotment and spend the evening in your shed. When someone rips the door open you empty a full magazine into him, then swiftly reload in case he has any friends nearby who wish to object to your actions. Then, and this is the important bit, put the carving knife into his lifeless hand.
When the police eventually turn up (and it will be an awfully lot quicker than it would be if they attacked you) you claim self defence, he came at you with a knife. If they say a full magazine is a bit excessive, tell them you were scared.

Simples!

[TheDaddy]

I think you should be taking a look in your local rag, for sale section !

I can arrange three burly fellows who would love to assist in the door knocking department !


Pound to a penny its one of your own.....

Other than that theres a site that you might be interested in however be quick West Ham are favorites..

[sunburywhite]

Rupert - couldn't he just fire 4 shots through the closed door and claim he had an intruder or anm I being insensitive?

[Mr-ska]

Sign on the door.. Beware of the Snakes..

[LBNo11]

...sadly this is a regular occurrence at our allotments too and we have been advised not to store tools in the sheds (what the hell is the point of a shed at the allotment then?) and not to lock the sheds to avoid serious damage. Of course then said criminals, on finding there are no tools, smash up the sheds and trample on the crops. We now have a new proper steel entrance to the allotment, safe and secure you think, until you find that all the allotments in the borough share the identical key. Funnily enough, when the council used it's own workers to look after the allotments (including a certain Tosh Chamberlain) there were very few incidents, and now a privately run company is sub-contracted out there are more incidents - must be a coincidence..?

[Holders]

I was talking about security to a farmer friend yesterday who puts on special security in December as he sells fresh turkeys in volume.

One item is a movement detector that detonates a blank shotgun cartridge when triggered. Apparently they're legal and available from the internet or farming magazines. Sends 'em running he says.

For our US readers - substitute blank cartridge with loaded automatic weapon.

[MJG]

First this:


Then:

[cmg]

Allotment sheds are always good places to keep family pets that you do not wish to keep inside the home.

[CincyFulham1]

Here's a thread that'll flummox the hell out of mah fellow 'mericans!  064.gif

Not me.  Dad had an allotment he shared with some old fella who always seemed to smell like onions and pipe smoke.  Nice guy, just not someone you would want to be with in a small space.