NFR - PUN-OGRAPHY for Easter

[cebu]

They're terrible ... but it's Easter ...  so.....



When chemists die, they barium.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Than it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type-O.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.

Energizer bunny arrested. Charged with battery.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it!

Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because shecouldn't control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me !

Broken pencils are pointless.

I tried to catch some fog. I mist.

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. Police have nothing to go on.

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

Velcro - what a rip off !

Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.

Venison for dinner? Oh deer !

Earthquake in Washington obviously government's fault.

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.

Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.

Never fall in love with a tennis player because to a tennis player, love means nothing.

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.

I'm glad I know sign language, it's pretty handy.

I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me

I knew a woman who owned a taser, man was she stunning!

I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.

There was a sign on the lawn at a drug re-hab center that said 'Keep off the Grass'.

Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.

Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

I was going to look for my missing watch, but I could never find the time.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

The experienced carpenter really nailed it, but the new guy screwed everything up.

He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.

Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.

A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

Novice pirates make terrible singers because they can't hit the high seas.

A bacteria walked into a bar and the bartender said, 'We don't serve bacteria in this place.' The bacteria said, 'But I work here, I'm staph.'