Lets have a smile. Please post your cv for the next Fulham manager's job, mine..

[jarv]

Coached football for  25 years, coaching all ages from the age of 6 up to under 20's.

Coached both boys and girls which gives me a broad outlook on the game and dealing with temperamental players.

Coached recreational leagues, elite teams and high school team.

Never won anything (key to Fulham appointment).

Philosophy, teach players to become  better, have fun and stay safe.

Pre match warm up, lots of ball touches and if it is raining, stay in your parents car til kick off.

Two seasons ago, managed the league's top scorer. She scored 22 goals in 14 games. Not sure what impact I had but I did have to bench her for scoring too many against weaker teams. That will teach her not to be so selfish.

I look forward to hearing from Mr. Khan in the near future.

[SouthfieldWhite]

Sorry Jarv, you're too well qualified for Fulham, you'd be better of applying for the Man Utds job in a couple of weeks when that position will become vacant ;-)

[Berserker]

I've never played football in my life I'm a women

[zander]

My virtual cv is not to bad. An fa cup and two europa league titles with fulham on fm 2010, although no experience of relegation scraps and I do like to play attacking football so its probably not for me.

[SouthfieldWhite]

I've never played football in my life I'm a women

Women do play football you know ;-)

[alfie]

So if all you "Championship manager" managers or indeed coaching for 25 years are that good why are you not doing it for a living?

[Berserker]

I've never played football in my life I'm a women

Women do play football you know ;-)

Yeah should have said 'and I'm a women'. Mind you when I was at school none of us played football, it was hockey or netball. I was a right back in the school hockey team.

[Twig]

So if all you "Championship manager" managers or indeed coaching for 25 years are that good why are you not doing it for a living?

You are missing the point - irony?

[zander]

So if all you "Championship manager" managers or indeed coaching for 25 years are that good why are you not doing it for a living?

You are missing the point - irony?

I'm glad someone got it.

[ron]

I've never played football in my life I'm a women

Women do play football you know ;-)

Yeah should have said 'and I'm a women. Mind you when I was at school none of us played football, it was hockey or netball. I was a right back in the school hockey team.

How many women are you....?

[jms]

I've never played football in my life I'm a women

:plus one:

I was a fully trained PE teacher, coached at a national level in both Hockey and Basketball, and as a schoolgirl, was not allowed to play football. Even when teaching, my head didn't allow me to teach girls football.....
And I still understand the game better than Jol and Magath LOL

[Berserker]

I've never played football in my life I'm a women

Women do play football you know ;-)

Yeah should have said 'and I'm a women. Mind you when I was at school none of us played football, it was hockey or netball. I was a right back in the school hockey team.

How many women are you....?

I am part of the spirit of women, I am part of the sisterhood that all women belong to. We are one.

Sorry got carried away there

[jms]

I've never played football in my life I'm a women

Women do play football you know ;-)

Yeah should have said 'and I'm a women. Mind you when I was at school none of us played football, it was hockey or netball. I was a right back in the school hockey team.

How many women are you....?

I am part of the spirit of women, I am part of the sisterhood that all women belong to. We are one.

Sorry got carried away there

:plus one:
Hardly carried away....just speaking the truth

[CorkedHat]

What I know about football and tactics wouldn't fill the back of a postage stamp. If any player showed the least semblance of talent, I would immediately bench him for the next match and play two people who couldn't kick a beach ball through a barn door from six inches away. I would tell the world at large just how tough and uncompromising I am and how I am not going to tolerate any under achievers. Finally, if a player is not either approaching or is over thirty years of age, he will not set foot in my team.
What do you mean you've already got someone like that and it's not working? Well do something about it.