Hillarious from Magath

[dgnffc]

Think Magath would understand this..................?

Jools Holland - Ac-Cent-Tchu-Ate The Positive

[ToodlesMcToot]

last 2 games we have lost 3-1

well, everyone has been saying all season is that what we need is some consistency

[FFCAli]

Love those Strachan quotes!

[FulhamFCMiss]

Perhaps he should understand that if you have nothing useful to say, then say nothing at all, or you get creamed on message boards.

[HatterDon]

For those unfamiliar with Strachan's style:


Reporter: "Gordon, can we have a quick word please?"
Strachan: "Velocity" (walks off).

I've got more important things to think about. I've got a yogurt to finish by today, the expiry date is today. That can be my priority rather than Agustin Delgado.

Reporter: "Bang, there goes your unbeaten run. Can you take it?"
Strachan: "No, I'm just going to crumble like a wreck. I'll go home, become an alcoholic and maybe jump off a bridge. Umm, I think I can take it, yeah."

Reporter: "Gordon, do you think James Beattie deserves to be in the England squad?"
Strachan: "I don't care, I'm Scottish."

Reporter: "Gordon, you must be delighted with that result?"
Strachan: "You're spot on! You can read me like a book!"

Reporter: "Welcome to Southampton Football Club. Do you think you are the right man to turn things around?"
Strachan: "No. I was asked if I thought I was the right man for the job and I said: 'No, I think they should have got George Graham because I'm useless.'"

Reporter: "There's no negative vibes or negative feelings here?"
Strachan: "Apart from yourself, we're all quite positive round here. I'm going to whack you over the head with a big stick. Down negative man, down!"

On good friend and former Aberdeen teammate Alex McLeish: "We even competed for the acne cream when we were younger. Obviously, I won that one."

Reporter: "So, Gordon, in what areas do you think Middlesbrough were better than you today?"
Strachan: "What areas? Mainly that big green one out there..."

Talking about Wayne Rooney: "It's an incredible rise to stardom. At 17 you're more likely to get a call from Michael Jackson than Sven Goran Eriksson."

On Eric Cantona's bizarre press conference: "If a Frenchman goes on about seagulls, trawlers and sardines, he's called a philosopher. I'd just be called a short Scottish bum talking crap."

"Pahars has also caught every virus going except a computer virus and he is probably working on that even now."

Reporter: "This might sound like a daft question, but you'll be happy to get your first win under your belt, won't you?"
Strachan: "You're right. It is a daft question. I'm not even going to bother answering that one. It is a daft question, you're spot on there."

Talking about being attacked by a Celtic fan while an Aberdeen player in 1980: "It's always great fun getting attacked. One of the highlights of my career. The fella who beat me up got fined £100 for that but they had a whip-round in the pub and he got £200!"

Reporter: "Is that your best start to a season?"
Strachan: "Well I've still got a job so it's far better than the Coventry one, that's for sure."

Reporter: "You don't take losing lightly, do you Gordon?"
Strachan: "I don't take stupid comments lightly either."

When Spain played without a striker in the World Cup,
Commentator: Did you ever play without a striker, Gordon?
Strachan: No - it just looked like it.

On Claus Lundekvam his centre-back at Southampton: John Terry goes up for set-pieces expecting to score. Lundekvam goes up for every dead ball and never looks remotely like scoring. If we had a dead body lying in the penalty area the ball would hit it on the head two or three times every season which is more than Lundekvam can manage. Every time he goes up for a corner the referee should book him for time wasting.

This is like the 50th time I've seen this list, and it kills me every time. Thanks for this, cmg. It's the first time I laughed at anything other than one of Mr. Peabody's jokes in a long time.   065.gif

[Buffalo76]

For those unfamiliar with Strachan's style:


Reporter: "Gordon, can we have a quick word please?"
Strachan: "Velocity" (walks off).

I've got more important things to think about. I've got a yogurt to finish by today, the expiry date is today. That can be my priority rather than Agustin Delgado.

Reporter: "Bang, there goes your unbeaten run. Can you take it?"
Strachan: "No, I'm just going to crumble like a wreck. I'll go home, become an alcoholic and maybe jump off a bridge. Umm, I think I can take it, yeah."

Reporter: "Gordon, do you think James Beattie deserves to be in the England squad?"
Strachan: "I don't care, I'm Scottish."

Reporter: "Gordon, you must be delighted with that result?"
Strachan: "You're spot on! You can read me like a book!"

Reporter: "Welcome to Southampton Football Club. Do you think you are the right man to turn things around?"
Strachan: "No. I was asked if I thought I was the right man for the job and I said: 'No, I think they should have got George Graham because I'm useless.'"

Reporter: "There's no negative vibes or negative feelings here?"
Strachan: "Apart from yourself, we're all quite positive round here. I'm going to whack you over the head with a big stick. Down negative man, down!"

On good friend and former Aberdeen teammate Alex McLeish: "We even competed for the acne cream when we were younger. Obviously, I won that one."

Reporter: "So, Gordon, in what areas do you think Middlesbrough were better than you today?"
Strachan: "What areas? Mainly that big green one out there..."

Talking about Wayne Rooney: "It's an incredible rise to stardom. At 17 you're more likely to get a call from Michael Jackson than Sven Goran Eriksson."

On Eric Cantona's bizarre press conference: "If a Frenchman goes on about seagulls, trawlers and sardines, he's called a philosopher. I'd just be called a short Scottish bum talking crap."

"Pahars has also caught every virus going except a computer virus and he is probably working on that even now."

Reporter: "This might sound like a daft question, but you'll be happy to get your first win under your belt, won't you?"
Strachan: "You're right. It is a daft question. I'm not even going to bother answering that one. It is a daft question, you're spot on there."

Talking about being attacked by a Celtic fan while an Aberdeen player in 1980: "It's always great fun getting attacked. One of the highlights of my career. The fella who beat me up got fined £100 for that but they had a whip-round in the pub and he got £200!"

Reporter: "Is that your best start to a season?"
Strachan: "Well I've still got a job so it's far better than the Coventry one, that's for sure."

Reporter: "You don't take losing lightly, do you Gordon?"
Strachan: "I don't take stupid comments lightly either."

When Spain played without a striker in the World Cup,
Commentator: Did you ever play without a striker, Gordon?
Strachan: No - it just looked like it.

On Claus Lundekvam his centre-back at Southampton: John Terry goes up for set-pieces expecting to score. Lundekvam goes up for every dead ball and never looks remotely like scoring. If we had a dead body lying in the penalty area the ball would hit it on the head two or three times every season which is more than Lundekvam can manage. Every time he goes up for a corner the referee should book him for time wasting.

Brilliant  0001.jpeg

[win-dup]

For those unfamiliar with Strachan's style:


Reporter: "Gordon, can we have a quick word please?"
Strachan: "Velocity" (walks off).

I've got more important things to think about. I've got a yogurt to finish by today, the expiry date is today. That can be my priority rather than Agustin Delgado.

Reporter: "Bang, there goes your unbeaten run. Can you take it?"
Strachan: "No, I'm just going to crumble like a wreck. I'll go home, become an alcoholic and maybe jump off a bridge. Umm, I think I can take it, yeah."

Reporter: "Gordon, do you think James Beattie deserves to be in the England squad?"
Strachan: "I don't care, I'm Scottish."

Reporter: "Gordon, you must be delighted with that result?"
Strachan: "You're spot on! You can read me like a book!"

Reporter: "Welcome to Southampton Football Club. Do you think you are the right man to turn things around?"
Strachan: "No. I was asked if I thought I was the right man for the job and I said: 'No, I think they should have got George Graham because I'm useless.'"

Reporter: "There's no negative vibes or negative feelings here?"
Strachan: "Apart from yourself, we're all quite positive round here. I'm going to whack you over the head with a big stick. Down negative man, down!"

On good friend and former Aberdeen teammate Alex McLeish: "We even competed for the acne cream when we were younger. Obviously, I won that one."

Reporter: "So, Gordon, in what areas do you think Middlesbrough were better than you today?"
Strachan: "What areas? Mainly that big green one out there..."

Talking about Wayne Rooney: "It's an incredible rise to stardom. At 17 you're more likely to get a call from Michael Jackson than Sven Goran Eriksson."

On Eric Cantona's bizarre press conference: "If a Frenchman goes on about seagulls, trawlers and sardines, he’s called a philosopher. I’d just be called a short Scottish bum talking crap."

“Pahars has also caught every virus going except a computer virus and he is probably working on that even now.”

Reporter: "This might sound like a daft question, but you'll be happy to get your first win under your belt, won't you?"
Strachan: "You're right. It is a daft question. I'm not even going to bother answering that one. It is a daft question, you're spot on there."

Talking about being attacked by a Celtic fan while an Aberdeen player in 1980: "It's always great fun getting attacked. One of the highlights of my career. The fella who beat me up got fined £100 for that but they had a whip-round in the pub and he got £200!"

Reporter: "Is that your best start to a season?"
Strachan: "Well I've still got a job so it's far better than the Coventry one, that's for sure."

Reporter: "You don't take losing lightly, do you Gordon?"
Strachan: "I don't take stupid comments lightly either."

When Spain played without a striker in the World Cup,
Commentator: Did you ever play without a striker, Gordon?
Strachan: No - it just looked like it.

On Claus Lundekvam his centre-back at Southampton: John Terry goes up for set-pieces expecting to score. Lundekvam goes up for every dead ball and never looks remotely like scoring. If we had a dead body lying in the penalty area the ball would hit it on the head two or three times every season which is more than Lundekvam can manage. Every time he goes up for a corner the referee should book him for time wasting.

much as I love Brede I think the last Strachan quote was made for him. Has he ever got his head to the ball from a corner?

[LBNo11]

...if it looks like a dead duck, plays like a dead duck, acts like a dead duck, it's very probably a dead duck...

[twang]

Ha, those Strachan quotes are comedy gold! Hadn't seen them before, thanks cmg.

Reporter: "Gordon, can we have a quick word please?"
Strachan: "Velocity" (walks off).

Simply brilliant!

[JBH]

I thinj you should get off felix's back he is the one person who is not to blame 096.gig

[Apprentice to the Maestro]

I thinj you should get off felix's back he is the one person who is not to blame 096.gig

Magath obviously didn't get us into this situation but his team selections, substitutions and tactics, particularly when contrasted with his comments, don't give much confidence for the medium to long term now that most have resigned themselves to relegation. That is what I find depressing.

In contrast I felt more positive about the future with Rene accepting that the lack of investment and our time with Jol had put us in a difficult situation.