Always the bridesmaid, never the bride

[deecee]

As featured on Radio 4's Today programme this morning. We are the second funniest.

TOP 10 FUNNIEST FOOTBALL SONGS: WEST HAM FANS ARE NO1
Submitted by tribalfootball.com on Wed, 03/12/2014 - 03:13

http://www.tribalfootball.com/articles/top-10-funniest-football-songs-west-ham-fans-are-no1-4011849#.UyAngYl_vTc

West Ham United fans have been named the funniest in a poll about the wittiest chants in football.

The club's supporters have taken the honours in a search for the best football chant of the past decade, with a verse about Rio Ferdinand's spell on the bench for missing a drugs test.

The poll was conducted among 1,500 football fans on behalf of Oulala.

Top 10 funniest chants from the past decade:

1. ''His name is Rio and he watches from the stand'' - West Ham fans to Manchester United's Rio Ferdinand, sung to the tune of Duran Duran's Rio.

2. ''When you're sat in row Z, and the ball hits your head, that's Zamora, that's Zamora'' - Fulham supporters hail their striker Bobby Zamora, sung to the tune of Dean Martin's That's Amore.

3. ''You should have stayed on the telly'' - Newcastle United fans to Alan Shearer, when the Match of the Day pundit led the team to relegation as manager.

4. ''He's fast, he's red, he talks like Father Ted, Robbie Keane'' - Liverpool fans on the club's striker.

5. ''Your teeth are offside, your teeth are offside, Luis Suarez, your teeth are offside'' - Manchester United fans singing about Liverpool's Luis Suarez.

6. ''Deep fry yer pizzas, we're gonna deep fry yer pizzas'' - Scotland fans to Italy's supporters in a World Cup qualifier in March 2007.

7. ''Chelsea, wherever you may be, keep your wife from John Terry'' - Chelsea fans saluted their captain Terry after his affair with former team-mate Wayne Bridge's ex-girlfriend, sung to the tune of Lord Of The Dance.

8. ''John Carew, Carew. He likes a lap-dance or two. He might even pay for you. John Carew, Carew'' - Aston Villa fans sang this about their player, to the Que Sera Sera song.

9. ''Fat Eddie Murphy, you're just a fat Eddie Murphy'' - Newcastle United fans used this heckle on then-Chelsea player Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink.

10. ''You only live round the corner'' - Fulham to Manchester United supporters, a chant now sung by many other London teams when they play at home to United.

[Slaphead in Qatar]

We nicked our zamora song from spurs fans.

[Fletchino]

The jim Bullard song was good I thought that was Chant of the season a few years back

[Neil D]

None of these is funnier than the Andy Goram chant when it was revealed that he suffered from schizophrenia:
'Two Andy Gorams, there's only two Andy Gorams.'

[Rhys Lightning 63]

90% sure that it was opposition fans singing the song to Alan Shearer

[Burt]

Yup... The Zamora one was doing the rounds long before he arrived at the Cottage...