Four Four Two tell te real story behind Brede departure

[Lighthouse]

Fulham inform Hangeland of release via LSD-induced hallucination
7 min ago

Paul Watson

.Topics
Back of the Net, Funny, Fulham, Brede Hangeland
commentsFulham have defended their decision to inform Brede Hangeland of his departure through an acid trip, Paul Watson reports...

Hangeland has been released from his contract, the club confirmed in a series of drug-induced visions.

Felix Magath's priority for the summer is to prepare for next season by removing any quality players from his squad who may be bullied in the Championship for being different.

Hangeland is one of the first to see his contract terminated, and the club passed this information onto the Norway international courtesy of a talking imp suckling the teet of a nine-headed Magath who was playing 'Do I Wanna Know' by the Arctic Monkeys on a ukulele made of camembert.

While Hangeland remarked bitterly that he expected a different send-off, suggesting "a meeting in an office" or "a message in a fortune cookie", the club have insisted they convey all major decisions to their players via psychedelic whimsy.

"We regret that Brede feels slighted, but it is club protocol [to inform players of the termination of their contract by sending them on an acid trip]," a club spokesman insisted.

"It should also be pointed out that at least one of Magath's nine grotesque heads conveyed the appreciation of everyone at the club for Brede's efforts and wished him all the best for the future.

"If anything he should feel lucky: we told Dimitar Berbatov by injecting heroin into his eyeball."


Read more at http://www.fourfourtwo.com/features/fulham-inform-hangeland-release-lsd-induced-hallucination#flkaOB9pTQC6H8DC.99

[Logicalman]

I'll have some of whatever he's smoking.  :dft011:

[Admin]

Nothing to do with him trying to force a move to an "unnamed" Premiership Club, and ignoring calls for the Club pre-season?

[grandad]

I'll have some of whatever he's smoking.  :dft011:

Didn´t have you as a 1 Direction fan.

[FFC1987]

Nothing to do with him trying to force a move to an "unnamed" Premiership Club, and ignoring calls for the Club pre-season?

Is this information reliable?

[Two Ton Ted]

Why are people happier to accept a story put out by his agent than the one by the club?

[Nero]

WHAT HANGERLANDS BEEN RELEASED !!! why havent we had muti thread about this.

O know I'll start one

[Apprentice to the Maestro]

SunburyWhite put this on the Friday Fulham Stuff thread early this morning:

From dear old wiki regarding Hangerlands agent, sounds like a decent fellow, the sort of chap who can be believed

Rune Hauge (born April 23, 1954) is a Norwegian football agent.

In English football, Hauge is best known as the agent who represented John Jensen and Pål Lydersen during their transfers to Arsenal in the early 1990s. This would lead to Arsenal manager George Graham becoming embroiled in allegations that Hauge paid him a £425,000 "bung" to sign the players. Graham was later found guilty by the Football Association after admitting receiving an "unsolicited gift" and was suspended for a year. Before this, Hauge was involved in the signings of two key Manchester United players: Andrei Kanchelskis and Peter Schmeichel.

Hauge was banned from operating as an agent for life by FIFA in 1995, but this was later reduced to two years' suspension of his licence. After he regained his licence, he went on to represent several Norwegian players including Ole Gunnar Solskjær, Steffen Iversen and Eirik Bakke. He was also involved in the transfer of Rio Ferdinand from West Ham United to Leeds United.

In 2005, he was involved in the transfer dispute between Manchester United and Chelsea over John Obi Mikel, claiming (along with others) that he had the right to represent the Nigerian youth.

Hauge's current clients include Blackburn's Norwegian midfielder Morten Gamst Pedersen.

[Logicalman]

I'll have some of whatever he's smoking.  :dft011:

Didn´t have you as a 1 Direction fan.

The boy band? You take that back, sir, or I will demand satisfaction.

[love4ffc]

This would make sense.  Obviously the whole club is  on LSD.  How else would you explain the last two seasons?