NFR Joke

[Peabody]

COLIN


THE ABORIGINE
 

A rich man living in Darwin decided that he wanted to throw a party and invited all of his buddies and neighbours.

He also invited Colin, the only aborigine in the neighbourhood..  He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion.

Everyone was having a good time drinking, dancing, eating prawns, oysters, from the BBQ and flirting.

At the height of the party, the host said, 'I have a 15ft man-eating crocodile in my pool and I'll give a million dollars to anyone who has the balls to jump in.'

The words were barely out of his mouth when there was a loud splash and everyone turned around and saw Colin in the pool fighting the croc, jabbing the croc in the eyes with his thumbs, throwing punches, doing all kinds of stuff like head butts and chokeholds, biting the croc on the tail and flipping the croc through the air like some kind of Judo Instructor.

The water was churning and splashing everywhere.  Both Colin and the croc were screaming and raising hell. Finally Colin strangled the croc and let it float to the top like a dead goldfish.

Colin then slowly climbed out of the pool.

Everybody was just staring at him in disbelief.

The host says, 'Well, Colin, I reckon I owe you a million dollars.'

'Nah, you all right boss, I don't want it,' said Colin.

The rich man said, 'Man, I have to give you something. You won the bet.  How about half a million bucks then?'

'No thanks... I don't want it,' answered Colin.

The host said, 'Come on, I insist on giving you something.  That was amazing.  How about a new Porsche and a Rolex and some stock options?'

Again, Colin said "No."

Confused, the rich man asked, 'Well Colin, then what do you want?

Colin said,
 



 
 
 
 
 
'I want the bastard who pushed me in.'

[Logicalman]

Brilliant, just brilliant - never saw it coming (then again neither did Colin by the sound of it)

[Andy S]

Not good Guessed it as soon as the guy hit the pool

[Logicalman]

Not good Guessed it as soon as the guy hit the pool

Well, there's the difference between being smart, and being me then!!    :005:

[dannyboi-ffc]

Not good Guessed it as soon as the guy hit the pool

Well, there's the difference between being smart, and being me then!!    :005:

Heard that joke before but without the aussie factor. Great joke!

[YankeeJim]

An elderly gentleman is driving late at night when he is pulled over by the police. The officer asks the man where he is going at such a late hour. He replies, "I'm going to a lecture on the evils of alcohol, cigarettes and staying out late." The policeman responds " who the devil is holding such a lecture at this late hour?" The gentleman responds "that would be me wife".

[rogerpbackinMidEastUS]

2 racehorses ambling across the field

The first one turns to the other and says;
"A strange thing happened on Saturday in the 2.30 at Ascot
I was 3/1 favorite and coming round the last bend I was 3 lengths behind.  
All of a sudden I had this burning feeling under my tail, it shot up my back and burning
the back of my neck I shot forward and won the race on the nod"

The other horse replied "Well that's a coincidence, I was in the 3.45 at Warwick, odds on favorite
and the same as you I was behind at the final turn and had the burning feeling and won the race by a neck"

Just then a greyhound runs across and says;
"I hope you don't mind Mr Horses, I heard you talking and the exact same thing happened to me at
Wimbledon on Friday (it's an old joke) Trap six black and white striped jacket, 3rd place with one circuit to go, burning feeling and shot forward to win by 2 lengths"

The first horse looks at his friend and says;










"Holy s*** a talking greyhound"