Jokes to brighten up Monday morning

[epsomraver]

A man collapsed today on the London Eye; paramedics say he is slowly coming round.

After hearing screams from the bed next to me , I heard the sister telling a student nurse " I told you to p**** his boil" you silly girl
Some guy in the hospital bed has been told he has 2 hours to live and that they have no sheets to wrap him in when he goes. It looks like it's curtains for him.

Billy rushed to save his friend who had fallen in vat of hot chocolate , his workmates shouted " Billy , don,t be an Aero "

85% of people in Liverpool and Manchester have had sex in the shower
the other 15% have not been to prison

Sir Galahad and Sir Lancelot go to a hotel reception desk and ask.....
" We need a room for 2 (k)nights"

[Andy S]

A roof tile fell from a roof and missed a mans shoulder by six inches yesterday. It split his head open.