The 'did I/they really just say that?' thread

[dannyboi-ffc]

We have all been there, your mouth speaks before confirming with your brain and you immediately regret it. Or maybe your other half or kids have left you cringing with embarrassment for doing similar, over the years my closest companion has been 'awkward silence'.

Since we have nothing better to do I thought I would follow Burt in creating a thread where we can share humiliations. Here's one that the wife never lets me forget.

My wife gets embarrassed of me quite easily, I am the type of guy who doesn't care what others think of me. Or at least I dont try to make people like me, I am a working class south londoner and if people turn their nose up I wont lose sleep. But she gets embarrassed.

So when she goes and wins a competition from Capital fm to stay in the Baglioli Hotel or whatever its called in Kensington. A 5 star poncy hotel where even a bottle of water cost a fortune, you can imagine how nervous she was about me going with her. Now like I said I very rarely get embarrassed but even I felt uncomfortable when we checked in. It felt like everyone was staring at us because it was clear we werent like them. So for a change I tried extra extra hard not to be common and to not embarrass her.

We get passed check in with no issues, the maid or whatever shes called escorted us to our room and was explaining how everything worked. I just nodded along after being told by the mrs to let her do the talking. The maid goes to leave and my wife heads into the bathroom. Just as I think I have just passed phase two of this pretend your a t#at game the maid unexpectedly turns back around. "I almost forgot sir, would you like me to bring you some tea?" She then began to name all these fancy teas I have never heard of, what was I supposed to do? I was cornered, the mrs out of the room and the maid had addressed me when asking the question. Surely I have to speak now? It was like a Homer Simpson moment where he is thinking to himself say something smart say something smart and before I knew it I replied "do you have any Tetley?".

The mrs came out with a disbelieving look on her faith, we became telepathic for that few seconds that followed. Did you really just say Tetley I could hear her saying in my mind. It felt like the awkward silence lasted for hours before the maid replied with a confused expression "sorry we dont do that, I will bring you a selection instead."

That is how to embarrass your wife! Oh and for the record, their poxy snobby tea has nothing on a Tetley and a chocolate digestive.

[snarks]

Well it's oft been said that I open my mouth just to change feet.

At the gym, a very attractive young lady was filling her water bottle and I was waitning for her to finish, she saw me waiting and and moved aside a bit so I could use the other bit to fill mine.

So I deftly moved in and then I heard myself say "Thanks for letting me slide mine in, it's not often I get to do that"

I can't even think why I said it.

[RaySmith]

Sympathies Danny - I often feel a victim of snobbery, but it's often subtle -so you wonder if you're paranoid but you sort of just know. Plus it is easy to put your foot in it socially in this class ridden society -I thought it would have improved by now from when I was a kid, but it seems to be getting worse again.

In the local arts scene where I live, I find a lot of snobbery, although I have had some success. For example, I was in a place awaiting a writing group which I belonged to, and a woman was hanging paintings, so I spoke to her and she said she was hanging work by members of her painting group, so I expressed interest in joining, telling her that I painted myself - which I do.

Here response to my inquiry -'Oh, it's very expensive to join I'm afraid' said in a posh accent, and with panic that someone like me might try to join her group.

Anyway, it gave me great pleasure when I sold my first painting at a local exhibition this summer.

I am also a working-class south Londoner from Brixton, and though not a cockney I still have an accent that people find hard to understand. But my wife is a working-class Glaswegian, and they are definitely looked down  when they open their mouths -but she just laughs at it, and also, as women tend to be, is more aware of the social graces than me, but I am more sensitive to snobbery unfortunately.

Going back to your post - hotels are a minefield for me too, and posh restaurants, and I feel that everyone is looking at me, and I do always say and do the wrong thing - and get that sneer from reception and waiting staff - why do people who do these jobs all feel so superior?

[Holders]

That just demonstrates how ignorant the maid was, surely she should have known that Tetley is beer, not tea.

Actually, I suspect she was just angling for her tip.

I had an interesting one the other week:

I happen to get on quite well with the local sub-postmistress but she knows that I don't like her deputy when she's off so she lets me know in advance! Anyway, I went in one day and she explained that she hadn't been in the day before as she'd had to go to M&S for a bra-fitting. Without pausing to think, I said "oh, Lorraine, you should have told me and I'd have come and given you a hand".

[CorkCity]

My Mrs often gets saying wrong. "He's up to his debt in eyeballs" "She's buttered her bread and now she can lie in it" are just a couple.

My son was a passenger in the car one day and a car was very close behind, he came out with a classic "there is a p**** behind you and he's right up your arse" I nearly crashed laughing !

[Wolf]

1. How are tea varieties 'snobby'?
2. She was just angling for a tip.

[Holders]

A Rolling Stone gathers Kate Moss, leave no turd unstoned, a closed mouth gathers no feet etc., etc.

[dannyboi-ffc]

1. How are tea varieties 'snobby'?
2. She was just angling for a tip.

Maybe tea varieties aren't snobby but the hotel was ridiculously uncomfortably posh for my liking and I had never heard of the teas she mentioned.

I don't tip that easily either, no one tips me on my bus so I dont see how asking me if I want tea deserves a tip. She didnt even carry my bag for me lol.

[Southcoastffc]

Said to me a few years ago when someone was talking about how Committees work:  he meant to say that in his view a Committee is a living organism.  He missed out the ni.....

[Forever Fulham]

I have to go to an Indian supermarket in Plano, Texas to get my PG Tips in bulk.  I won't pay $9.00 for 80 bags.  They also sell chocolate covered tea biscuits which I can't get in American grocery stores. When I was up in the Detroit area, I'd go across the Ambassador bridge into Windsor, Ontario for my fix of Red Rose which you couldn't find in Michigan.  And Cadbury's milk chocolate.  Seems like that hotel failed in its primary mission: Satisfy the customer. 

[dannyboi-ffc]

To be fair to the maid or whatever her title is, she was eastern european if I was to hazard a guess from her accent. So I dont blame her. It did make me feel weird though that I was the one portrayed as crazy for knowing what Tetley was lol.

The mrs reckons it is called breakfast tea if you want tetley, pg tips etc... but I say nonsense. What if I want a brew with my dinner?

[alfie]

To be fair to the maid or whatever her title is, she was eastern european if I was to hazard a guess from her accent. So I dont blame her. It did make me feel weird though that I was the one portrayed as crazy for knowing what Tetley was lol.

The mrs reckons it is called breakfast tea if you want tetley, pg tips etc... but I say nonsense. What if I want a brew with my dinner?

I have one rule only and that is I am what I am, if someone don't like it then the problem is theirs not mine.

[Logicalman]

Ahh Danny, all you have to remember is 'Earl Grey' tea in such situations. Never tasted it meself, I'm from the same level of class as your good self mate and prefer PG-Tips, but it sounds like I know something.

My recent embarrassing moment was when talking to my neighbour. We buying this nice house in a part of Indy thats a little, how should I say, more for the well-to-do's in the area I guess. That's not to say its not a nice place or anything, but it is a bit like the St Johns Wood type thingy of this area kind of.
Anyways, just chatting to him about moving house and he asked where we were going, told him, and also added what my view was of the area being a little higher class than I would normally feel comfortable in, to which he suddenly tells me thats where he grew up! Ah, methinks, and he's now living here? (Not a bad part of town but more blue-collar than white). Awkward silence later we changed the subject. I guess I'm just as snooty about my roots as some of the uppers are about theirs.

[Vinnieffc]

To be fair to the maid or whatever her title is, she was eastern european if I was to hazard a guess from her accent. So I dont blame her. It did make me feel weird though that I was the one portrayed as crazy for knowing what Tetley was lol.

The mrs reckons it is called breakfast tea if you want tetley, pg tips etc... but I say nonsense. What if I want a brew with my dinner?

i had an Eastern European maid. She used to take hours hoovering the living room. Turns out she's  SloVac..

[Holders]

I used to work with a bloke who was a bit anal over certain things, including tea. Our customer was out and I was making a brew, looked in the cupboard and offered him Earl Gay or Builder's. He replied "I'd better have Builder's then  if you put it like that".

[Holders]

To be fair to the maid or whatever her title is, she was eastern european if I was to hazard a guess from her accent. So I dont blame her. It did make me feel weird though that I was the one portrayed as crazy for knowing what Tetley was lol.

The mrs reckons it is called breakfast tea if you want tetley, pg tips etc... but I say nonsense. What if I want a bru with my dinner?

i had an Eastern European maid. She used to take hours hoovering the living room. Turns out she's  SloVac..

Did she do it thoroughly or did you need to Czech?

[epsomraver]

To be fair to the maid or whatever her title is, she was eastern european if I was to hazard a guess from her accent. So I dont blame her. It did make me feel weird though that I was the one portrayed as crazy for knowing what Tetley was lol.

The mrs reckons it is called breakfast tea if you want tetley, pg tips etc... but I say nonsense. What if I want a brew with my dinner?

i had an Eastern European maid. She used to take hours hoovering the living room. Turns out she's  SloVac..

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