NFR Joke

[Peabody]

This was the very first joke I put on this forum.

A man boarded a plane and was sat next to an attractive young lady, who was reading a book titled Everything You Never Knew. "Good book" he asked. "Yes" she replied "did you know that the man with the biggest ever penis, was  a Native American and the biggest girth was an Irishman, by the way, my name is Helen, what's yours"? " Tonto Murphy" he replied.

[Woolly Mammoth]

This was the very first joke I put on this forum.

A man boarded a plane and was sat next to an attractive young lady, who was reading a book titled Everything You Never Knew. "Good book" he asked. "Yes" she replied "did you know that the man with the biggest ever penis, was  a Native American and the biggest girth was an Irishman, by the way, my name is Helen, what's yours"? " Tonto Murphy" he replied.

0001.jpeg

[Nero]

and soon afterwards the first complaints rolled in for being racist or sexist

[Peabody]

and soon afterwards the first complaints rolled in for being racist or sexist

So humour is now a crime is it?

[sunburywhite]

The Lone Ranger and Tonto are riding through the Wild West and all of a sudden The Lone Ranger notices smoke signals to his right. "What does that say Tonto my faithful friend" Tonto tells him 3,000 Sioux are assembled to his right."
"No problem my faithful friend" says The Lone Ranger, " we have faced worst odds in our time"
The Lone Ranger then notices smoke signals to his left "What does that say Tonto my faithful friend" Tonto tells him 3,000 Cherokee are assembled to his left "No problem my faithful friend" says The Lone Ranger, " we have faced worst odds in our time"
The Lone Ranger then notices smoke signals ahead of him and says "What does that say Tonto my faithful friend" Tonto tells him 5,000 Navajo are assembled ahead of him." "Looks like we are in trouble my best friend " says The Lone Ranger
"Speak for yourself Honkey " says Tonto

[Logicalman]

and soon afterwards the first complaints rolled in for being racist or sexist

.. and if I recall, the rest of the board rejected those complaints as rather trivial.

[Fulham1959]

The Lone Ranger and Tonto are riding through the Wild West and all of a sudden The Lone Ranger notices smoke signals to his right. "What does that say Tonto my faithful friend" Tonto tells him 3,000 Sioux are assembled to his right."
"No problem my faithful friend" says The Lone Ranger, " we have faced worst odds in our time"
The Lone Ranger then notices smoke signals to his left "What does that say Tonto my faithful friend" Tonto tells him 3,000 Cherokee are assembled to his left "No problem my faithful friend" says The Lone Ranger, " we have faced worst odds in our time"
The Lone Ranger then notices smoke signals ahead of him and says "What does that say Tonto my faithful friend" Tonto tells him 5,000 Navajo are assembled ahead of him." "Looks like we are in trouble my best friend " says The Lone Ranger
"Speak for yourself Honkey " says Tonto

I thought it went, "What do you mean we, paleface ?".

[Andy S]

Yes and it proves the old jokes live on an thank god they do

[love4ffc]

and soon afterwards the first complaints rolled in for being racist or sexist

.. and if I recall, the rest of the board rejected those complaints as rather trivial.

:54: Precisely Dr. Watson.....and as stated above good jokes just keep on going....... :021:

[HatterDon]

ah yes, I remember it well!  :54:

[epsomraver]

The Lone Ranger and Tonto are riding through the Wild West and all of a sudden The Lone Ranger notices smoke signals to his right. "What does that say Tonto my faithful friend" Tonto tells him 3,000 Sioux are assembled to his right."
"No problem my faithful friend" says The Lone Ranger, " we have faced worst odds in our time"
The Lone Ranger then notices smoke signals to his left "What does that say Tonto my faithful friend" Tonto tells him 3,000 Cherokee are assembled to his left "No problem my faithful friend" says The Lone Ranger, " we have faced worst odds in our time"
The Lone Ranger then notices smoke signals ahead of him and says "What does that say Tonto my faithful friend" Tonto tells him 5,000 Navajo are assembled ahead of him." "Looks like we are in trouble my best friend " says The Lone Ranger
"Speak for yourself Honkey " says Tonto

After they ride on the arrows start flying and soon the Lone Ranger looks like a hedgehog, Tonto has none, The Lone ranger asks how this has happened, Tonto pats his face I splashed on  Aramis !

[epsomraver]

and soon afterwards the first complaints rolled in for being racist or sexist

That when you joined then? as Mr P says there is no crime in humour , funny how people are always " Offended" on behalf of someone else

[snarks]

and soon afterwards the first complaints rolled in for being racist or sexist

That when you joined then? as Mr P says there is no crime in humour , funny how people are always " Offended" on behalf of someone else

I disagree that there is no crime in humour, some of it is clearly offensive to a lot of people (not this joke to me BTW).

As to whether anyone finds it racist or sexist, that is their own choice, and if they do they are entitled to say so. I don't get offended on behalf of what someone else might feel, and to be blunt, neither should anyone else.

Sorry din't mean to thread de-rail

[BigbadBillyMcKinley]

What goes up and down?     An up-and-down goer

What goes from side to side?      An up-and-down goer that fell over

[f5shooter]

One Friday night an older, balding, grey-haired man walked into a jewelry store with a much younger, beautiful blond on his arm.  He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend.  The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a stunning $5,000 ring.

The man replied, "No sir, I'd like to see something very special,"

At that statement, the jeweler went to the back of the store, opened the safe and brought out a magnificent ring and said, "This is one of our most luxuries rings.  It's $40,000."  The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement.  The old man seeing this said, "It's beautiful and we'll take it."

The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the old man said, "I'll pay by check.  I understand you need to make sure this check is good, so I'll write the check today and we'll come back Monday afternoon to pick up the ring."

On Monday morning the jeweler angrily phoned the old man and said, "Sir, the check wrote is no good.  There is no money in that account!"

"I know," said the old man, "..but let me tell you about my weekend."

[Woolly Mammoth]

One Friday night an older, balding, grey-haired man walked into a jewelry store with a much younger, beautiful blond on his arm.  He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend.  The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a stunning $5,000 ring.

The man replied, "No sir, I'd like to see something very special,"

At that statement, the jeweler went to the back of the store, opened the safe and brought out a magnificent ring and said, "This is one of our most luxuries rings.  It's $40,000."  The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement.  The old man seeing this said, "It's beautiful and we'll take it."

The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the old man said, "I'll pay by check.  I understand you need to make sure this check is good, so I'll write the check today and we'll come back Monday afternoon to pick up the ring."

On Monday morning the jeweler angrily phoned the old man and said, "Sir, the check wrote is no good.  There is no money in that account!"

"I know," said the old man, "..but let me tell you about my weekend."

Excellent.