I had a test today.

[BigbadBillyMcKinley]

It was horrible. I sat in the big hall and put my pocket of Polos on the desk. And my spare pencil and my support gonk. And my chewing gum and my extra pen. And my extra Polos and my lucky gonk. And my pencil sharpener shaped like a cream cracker. And more gonks with a packet of Polos in each. And lead for my retractable pencil. And my retractable pencil. And spare lead for my retractable pencil. And chewing gum and pencils and pens and more gonks, and the guy says "Stop writing, please". 

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[Berserker]

Did you not have bananas? When I was sitting  my CIMA the were the big thing for brain food

[Dr Know]

A slide rule. do they still exist ?

[King_Crud]

It was horrible. I sat in the big hall and put my pocket of Polos on the desk. And my spare pencil and my support gonk. And my chewing gum and my extra pen. And my extra Polos and my lucky gonk. And my pencil sharpener shaped like a cream cracker. And more gonks with a packet of Polos in each. And lead for my retractable pencil. And my retractable pencil. And spare lead for my retractable pencil. And chewing gum and pencils and pens and more gonks, and the guy says "Stop writing, please".

do you think ants go to discos?

[BigbadBillyMcKinley]

It was horrible. I sat in the big hall and put my pocket of Polos on the desk. And my spare pencil and my support gonk. And my chewing gum and my extra pen. And my extra Polos and my lucky gonk. And my pencil sharpener shaped like a cream cracker. And more gonks with a packet of Polos in each. And lead for my retractable pencil. And my retractable pencil. And spare lead for my retractable pencil. And chewing gum and pencils and pens and more gonks, and the guy says "Stop writing, please".

do you think ants go to discos?

Do we have a video?

[rogerpbackinMidEastUS]

Has your paper been marked yet ?

[Logicalman]

Has your paper been marked yet ?

Nope, he never got the chance to put his name at the top   :005:

[Burt]

It was horrible. I sat in the big hall and put my pocket of Polos on the desk. And my spare pencil and my support gonk. And my chewing gum and my extra pen. And my extra Polos and my lucky gonk. And my pencil sharpener shaped like a cream cracker. And more gonks with a packet of Polos in each. And lead for my retractable pencil. And my retractable pencil. And spare lead for my retractable pencil. And chewing gum and pencils and pens and more gonks, and the guy says "Stop writing, please".

do you think ants go to discos?

Do we have a video?

Neil, Neil, orange peel...

[CincyFulham1]

I've finished building my gallows, and it's totally far out, you should see it. Like, when the trap door opens, and I, like, die, it lights Joss Sticks and plays "Rock Around The Clock"; it's totally amazing.

[King_Crud]

Neil, it's not often you interest me, but today you have. Why do you keep running into the room with a cake, yelling surprise?

Well it's my birthday.

You knew that, and we don't care, so where's the surprise?

[Rupert]

Neil, it's not often you interest me, but today you have. Why do you keep running into the room with a cake, yelling surprise?

Well it's my birthday.

You knew that, and we don't care, so where's the surprise?

The surprise comes when you eat some of the cake.

[Burt]

They don't make telly like they used to  092.gif

[BigbadBillyMcKinley]

But you see, the worst thing about television is, you see, I'm a Marxist comedian, you know, but em, since I've been doing television, a lot of me Marxist friends have accused me of selling out, you know. Like they make me march at the back on demos. They're all selling the Socialist Worker, and I've got to sell the TV Times. So I'd just like to take this opportunity, on national television, to assure you all, comrades, that honest to God, I have NOT sold out! Anyway round about now, I usually have a Pot Noodle! It's tasty. Ummm! Doesn't that look good! It's a tasty delicious little snack! Ummmm! Let's try some, shall we? Doesn't that look absolutely yumscious! Ohhhh! Let's try some, shall we?

[F(f)CUK]

You're not Steve Clarke by any chance?

[Logicalman]

They don't make telly like they used to  092.gif

Nah, they're flat screens these days.  090.gif

[horse1031]

i got an a, 2 b's and a c...

hepatitis that is

[King_Crud]

 I've not always been mad, you know. But, um, I was actually driven mad by the indifference of architectual and council planning.
You see, I live in a tower block, and um, the thing about those is there is terrible noise problems because there's no noise insulation at all, you know,
and eight floors below you there's always some bastard with a Yamaha home organ, you know. You're just about to go to sleep and you hear this
'ROLL OUT THE BARREL'. And, like, the people upstairs, I can't understand what they're doing, you know.
I listen, and all I can hear is this weird noise and goes, 'VROOM! VROOM! BLAM-BLAM! VROOM! VROOM! BLAM-BLAM!'
It sounds, right, it sounds like two elephants on a motorbike riding round and round, while a seal bangs a kipper on the table.
I went upstairs to complain, and the door was answered by this elephant in a crash helmet! Standing behind him is this seal going
'What is it now, Ralph?' I don't know, something just cracked inside and I starting thinking I was a piece of sponge. I jsut started to get very depressed...

[CincyFulham1]

I never really wanted to be a train driver, you know. I mean, they told me while at school, if I got two CSEs, when I left school I'd be head of British Steel. That's a lot of nonsense, ennit? I mean, you look at statistics, right. 83% of top British management have been to a public school and Oxbridge, right? 93% of the BBC have been to a public school and Oxbridge, right? 98% of the KGB have been to a public school and Oxbridge. All you get from a public school, right -- one, you get a top job, right, and two, you get an interest in perverse sexual practices. I mean, that's why British management's so inefficient. As soon as they get in the boardroom, they're all shutting each others' dicks in the door! "Go on, give it another slam, Sir Michael!" BAM! OW OW OW! "Come on, Sir Geoffrey, let's play the Panzer commander and the millkmaid, EW EW EW EW! YOO HOO!"

[King_Crud]

Excuse me, do you dig graves?

Yeah, I think they're alright.

I think they're wonderful