NFR Joke

[Peabody]

One day a husband said to his wife, what you like for you birthday dear? His wife, who was looking in the mirror, replied I wish I was 12.

A few weeks later, on her birthday, hubby got up early and said come on we are going out. With that, they got into the car and drove to Thorpe Park and spent the whole day and went on ride after ride at the end of an exhausting day, he said come on, it's not finished yet and he took her to McDonalds.

When they got home, she slumped into her armchair, completely worn out.

Hubby said well what do you think of that, going back to the age of twelve?

She replied you bloody fool, I meant my dress size 12.

[sunburywhite]

Wife says to husband what are you going to buy me for Christmas
Husband say you have virtually everything, you have the car, jewellery and much more but eventually buys wife a stunning diamond necklace. She then wears this to every event they go to and thoroughly loves the present

Next year she asks him what are you going to buy me this year.
He says you have everything possible in life so I am going to buy you the best plot possible in the Garden of Rest. It will be where everyone can see it and you will have abeautiful place in which to go to the afterlife

Next year she says what are you going to buy me this year
He says nothing, you haven't used last years present yet

[f321ffc]

I woke up to go to the toilet in the middle of the night and noticed a person  sneaking through my next door neighbours garden. Suddenly my neighbour came from nowhere and smacked him over the head with a shovel, killing him instantly. He then began to dig a grave with the shovel. Astonished I got back into bed and my wife said, "You're shaking, what is it?" "You'll never believe what I've just seen," I said. "That bastard next door still has my bloody shovel."

[jarv]

well done boys.   064.gif

[nose]

LOL
Good job boys

[Woolly Mammoth]

My next door neighbour thinks he is so smart.
He told me that an onion is the only food that makes you cry.
So I threw a coconut at his head.