joke...lettuce head

[jarv]

A guy in a supermarket in Florida wanted to buy a lettuce, but only half a head. He asked the young assistant for a half and he replied.." sorry, we don't do halves"

Well that's not good enough, let me speak to the manager.

The lad says " I will go and ask him"

He goes to the manager and says "some asshole wants to buy half a lettuce" at which point he notices the guy had followed him and then says "however, this fine gentleman offered to buy the other half"

Following that, the manager says "you were quick on your feet then, got yourself out of a jam and good customer service"....."where are you from, you are new here"?

The lad replies...Canada, sir.

Manager..."so what are you doing down here in Florida?"
Lad replies...they are all ice hockey players and whore up there.

Manager, surprised says " my wife is from Canada" and without a moments hesitation, the lad says.....

"which team did she play for?"

[f321ffc]

 A man goes to the doctor and says: "Doctor, there's a piece of lettuce sticking out of my bottom." The doctor asks him to drop his trousers and examines him. The man asks: "Is it serious, doctor?" and the doctor replies: "Yes, I'm sorry to tell you that it's the tip of the iceberg."

[filham]

Love is a chronic mental condition that can easily be cured by marriage.

[Woolly Mammoth]

I bought a head of lettuce, and then I accidentally dropped it in the road, and a car came round the corner and ran right over it.
Now it's just a vegetable.