Picayune Saturday Alright for Writing

[Lighthouse]

Chris Smalling will be called upon as an emergency striker should any more problems befall the depleted forward line. Chris, who now is mentally running around Old Trafford as we speak, has managed to head the ball a few times in the oppositions area from corners. A list of players and their stats supplied by White Coat are shown here -

Smalling 5 corners three heads
Hangeland 350 corners 3 heads
BZ 298 corners 0 heads

Goals scored direct from corners in the last 5 years - 3
Goals scored as a result from a corner but the ball didn'y go straight in -
Goals that ... - Go away you idiot


So Smalling will be our emergency striker.You heard it here first.

[Lighthouse]

The Picayune had exclusive access to the training ground on Friday. A Podcast will appear later. The Picayune is the one wearing the mask. Brief highlights from different players.

'OW That hurts, My foot it burns'
'I shall be out for at least five weeks with this swelling'
'We will have to see what the Doc says but I reckon it's infected'
'Oi over here son on me head... God IS THAT BLOOD'
' No I will be fine. Just keep the life support wire from twisting when I am out on the pitch'
'You are not putting A needle that size in there'

The last word from Roy Hodgson

OH GOD WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE HERE.

[FC Silver Fox]

CLEAR ........... Thwumpffffffff...............CLEAR......Thwumpffffff.... I'm getting a pulse.

[WhiteJC]

CLEAR ........... Thwumpffffffff...............CLEAR......Thwumpffffff.... I'm getting a pulse.

...thats one more for the team sheet

[Lighthouse]

Picayune crystal ball is on the money again.