NFR

[Peabody]

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The Monk joke:

A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to help the other monks copy the old canon and laws of the church by hand. He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript.

So, the new monk goes to the Old Abbot to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up! In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies.

The head monk, says, "We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son."

He goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscripts are held as archives, in a locked vault that hasn't been opened for hundreds of years.

Hours go by  and nobody sees the Old Abbot. So, the young monk gets worried and goes down to look for him and he finds him banging his head against the wall and wailing. "We missed the R! We missed the R! We missed the R!"

His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably. The young monk asks the old abbot, "What's wrong, father?"

With a choking voice, the old Abbot replies,
"The word! We missed the 'R'!

"What word?" Ask the young monk.

"Celebrate!"

[Fernhurst]

Very good Mr P..... I never hear many jokes these days. 
Mods to delete if necessary.

Portly bloke on plane going on his holidays but in a bit of a fankle, ages getting him self organised, couldn't do up his seat belt. Eventually the stewardess arrives at his seat and decides to give him his safety check individually ending up with "if we are going to crash into the ocean put your head between your knees "
The bloke replied "if I could do that love I wouldn't be on this flight to Thailand"

[ALG01]

very good, both of you.