A Newspaper Journalists Agonies Whose Also An FFC Fan.

[Steven Ageroad]

This article appeared in the i newspaper yesterday and was written by a journalist named Stefano Hatfield who happens to be a Fulham supporter and is suffering like all of us.

THE AGONY OF LOVING A FOOTBALL CLUB.

A couple of years ago I wrote here (his newspaper)about the extraordinary sight of grown men with tattoos and shaved heads being in tears on national television: "big, burly, old school, non-metropolitan-elite 'manly' men-that don't cry over anything except football". Back then I was referring to Sunderland and Hartlepool United fans, whose teams had been relegated - Sunderland from the Premier League, Hartlepool from the entire Football League. Little was I to know that the misty-eyed grown man this week would be me. And I struggled with why it matters so much.

Huddersfield fans might fit the above description. Fulham faithful, the alleged "Tarquins" of south-west London, not so much. Except that I'm not sure either was actually in tears this week in that stunned made-for-TV, invasive way that lingering cameras love. We both knew our teams were dropping out of the premier League, long before the maths confirmed it. The feeling is actually numbness: we've been through the five stages of grief already: denial, anger, bargaining ("if only"), depression and acceptance.

Three managers, no away win, the worst defence in the top five leagues of Europe; an expensive defender who got injured for months putting on his football boots; team-mates fighting on the pitch over a penalty and, off it, in a yoga class; the cancellation of a team bonding go-karting day because of insurance costs - all make the excitement of that heady play-off day last May when 40,000 of us did indeed cry a distant memory.
Where did that happiness go? Last season , when Fulham went 23 games undefeated, I navigated an otherwise stressful little period of my life on a virtual dopamine drip. Each victory gave a surge of pleasure that made us crave the next. This season, winning just four times I have a dopamine hangover: the slump after the massive high. plus, laughter is one of the best ways of stimulating endorphins. In the absence of joy at on-field success, then the gallows humour becomes the norm in the stands. Cue resignation.

I appear to be stuck on that fourth stage. If anyone can help me move on, all advice is welcome. "Support Chelsea" and "get a life" gets you banned from reading again.

[Twig]

Loved it. Very accurately reflects my experience this year.

[Cornishnick]

 Super bit of writing - and spot on. Been there with other relegation years in the past but not on this scale of embarrassment. Friends offer encouraging words but behind your back, their laughing their heads off at you.    :dft004:

[filham]

Very well written and a lot of us share his grief.
I am trying to think of next season and am now eagerly awaiting some early news of a rebuild.
The rumour that Schurlle has left indicates that the first unwanted particle of this dreadful season has been removed, one or two more similar actions would be encouraging.

[ALG01]

Very evocative.

I have seen it all before. I started in div 1 with Hayes and Cohen and bben to hamburg.

This is without question the nonsensical worst.

Before when it went wrong there was an obvious reason.

This time it is just senseless nepotism... We have been sold a pup, the leader loves his son more than facing common sense. The numbness overwhelms.

[Barrett487]

Thanks for posting this. Reflects what many of us feel at the moment

[hovewhite]

Sums it up for me.A well written piece.

[Jims Dentist]

Well written and spot on.
Another feeling brought on when things started to go wrong was guilt. Illogical yes, but still felt.
Then as the season has gone on (perhaps a defensive mechanism of the brain), detachment.
This came on when you reconciled yourself to the fact that you could do little affect things.

[Delboy]

This is what being a Fulham supporter is all about. If you don't have the disappointments like relegation then you can't fully appreciate the few ups we have achieved like the 2010 Europa Final and play-off success last May. Lets hope we are starting a new era in our clubs history and will bounce back strongly. COYW - Sorry Californian DMV.