We've Got No Excuses Now

[Mince n Tatties]

In the words of Mrs Mince,"Get the bathroom painted you've been going to do last 5 months,clean out attic and shed of all your old junk you hang on to,paint garden bench,and when you've done that I'll find something else for you to keep you occupied till April".
:012:😖

[SuffolkWhite]

Be careful Mince this could go on longer than April, she will have you doing an extension mate 064.gif

[alfie]

Right you need to go into the jobs very enthusiastic, like you really want to do them, disappear into your shed get a hammer hit your knee, scream out in agony, then you say you going to try and do some stuff, but after 5 minutes or so you have to sit down and pretend it's swelling. Don't know how long you can keep it going, but you should get a week out of it.

[SuffolkWhite]

Or tell her you have to self isolate in the bedroom as there is a virus going found , and get all the Fulham DVD's you have and watch em again and again.

[davew]

Be careful Mince this could go on longer than April, she will have you doing an extension mate 064.gif

At his age he doesn´t do extensions!

[KingofCheese]

My work has sent me home for three months to work from there..I can see a list coming my way...

[Woolly Mammoth]

Right you need to go into the jobs very enthusiastic, like you really want to do them, disappear into your shed get a hammer hit your knee, scream out in agony, then you say you going to try and do some stuff, but after 5 minutes or so you have to sit down and pretend it's swelling. Don't know how long you can keep it going, but you should get a week out of it.

Mince,

Just to make sure that works, accidentally on purpose saw your right arm off, preferably above the elbow. Then you are doubly sure you will avoid any further unhappiness by having to carry out those chores.
My only concern is the contents of your Garden Shed, as long as those editions of the Beano are stacked in date order and carefully ironed and out of the sun. Plus that full size adult Skeleton with the fractured skull is in a safe spot in one of the four corners of the Shed, which I remember you telling me you designed from the Shed at Stamford Bridge. 

[Ronnief]

Can we ban this thread, my wife has just seen it. Now she got the same ideas.

[alfie]

Can we ban this thread, my wife has just seen it. Now she got the same ideas.

If she has seen it, too late...

[Fulham Tup North]

My work has sent me home for three months to work from there..I can see a list coming my way...

Remember...pace yourself 👍😉

[RaySmith]

The Void, The Void!

[Mince n Tatties]

Or tell her you have to self isolate in the bedroom as there is a virus going found , and get all the Fulham DVD's you have and watch em again and again.

Great idea,but will do it in the shed and get stuck into home brew,and set up a hooch still,and got a mini oven...Got plenty reading material old progs...

[ScalleysDad]

I got cornered and momentarily outflanked in a similar way as I had burned up my brownie points for one more away game and Cardiff and Brum. "B&Q have a paint deal on so off you go. Stairwell, front room and kitchen and nothing with glitter in it wise ass" was my instruction. There is however a god who could probably get in our midfield about now. In the above mentioned store there is a range of paints called 'goodhomes'. Tucked away amongst a host of terrible names is a colour that defies description but is available for furniture upcycling and multipurpose use on metals, woods and floors. It's called Fulham. Give me about three weeks to introduce to her the revamped Fulham desk, the upcycled Fulham chest of drawers and the Fulham stair rods.
I'm sure it will be fine.............................