We're not currently last in any stat

[General]

out of the premier league teams this season.

13 teams have now played one more game than us.

despite that

If we're taken on goals scored, our 3 goals leave us equal 14th.

If taken on goals conceded our 7 goals leave us joint 17th, with Leeds and Wolves and West Brom have conceded 11 goals meaning we'd have to concede 4 tonight without scoring to go bottom. 4 teams have conceded 6 goals too.

We're 13th re shots on target, although a lowly second from bottom on number of shots taken (Aston Villa are the only team with less and they've only played one game).

18th on touches, but having only played 2 games.
16th on passes
14th on tackles
8th in pass completion
top in short pass completion
7th in medium pass completion
14th in long pass completion
12th in crosses into the box

we take more touches in our defensive third, then the midfield third, which is also subsequently more touches then we have in our attacking third (may be a reason we have conceded so many).

The basics are potentially there... Come on quality CB or two!

[Statto]

We're first in the relegation odds. Started as second favourites, then leapfrogged West Brom when people realised how poorly the transfer window was working out for us.

[Jim©]

Newcastle are getting away with murder at the moment. They have had 3 shots on target- 3 goals. They have conceded 21 shots on target and conceded 4 goals.( 51 shots in total- FIFTY ONE in 3 games!)
Compared to us, 8 shots on target, 3 goals, 13 shots on target conceded- 7 goals conceded.

[Jeroen]

Newcastle are getting away with murder at the moment. They have had 3 shots on target- 3 goals. They have conceded 21 shots on target and conceded 4 goals.( 51 shots in total- FIFTY ONE in 3 games!)
Compared to us, 8 shots on target, 3 goals, 13 shots on target conceded- 7 goals conceded.

Good give them a false sense of security until they find themselves below us in the table :-)

[Deeping_white]

Newcastle are getting away with murder at the moment. They have had 3 shots on target- 3 goals. They have conceded 21 shots on target and conceded 4 goals.( 51 shots in total- FIFTY ONE in 3 games!)
Compared to us, 8 shots on target, 3 goals, 13 shots on target conceded- 7 goals conceded.

Because we've got dumb and dumber playing at CB it makes no difference, yet people will still defend Ream, Odoi and Hector even if we keep losing even though it was abundantly clear two years ago that two of the three weren't good enough

[WindyCity]

This rationalization job is amusing, but provides me no comfort in the current FFC state of affairs.  We still need some defensive and offensive quality additions. 

[Jim©]

This rationalization job is amusing, but provides be no comfort in the current FFC state of affairs.  We still need some defensive and offensive quality additions. 

Don't think stats are overly amusing- but perhaps it shows a less gloomy picture than some would like to believe.
Only stat really  that matters is points, so we need to address that.
Shots on target for and shots on target against give a very good indicator of where you'll be come end of the season.

[Woolly Mammoth]

Blimey all this Doom and all this Gloom just before a match, so which is the quickest way as the crow flies from The Savoy to Beachy Head.