NFR - A story.

[RufusBrevettatemyhamster]

A middle aged bachelor has an obsession with tractors.

His entire house is decorated with them. He has tractor wallpaper, tractor memorabilia, many many model tractors, pictures of tractors, tractor bed sheets, even his car looks like a tractor (not a real tractor due to legal reasons).

As it is, his obsession with tractors had left him awkward, socially inept, and sadly lonely.

One day, as he went to the store to get his weeks groceries he noticed that the cashier was very cute and she kept throwing him glances. But being the socially awkward person that he was, he didn't do anything about it and nervously had his items scanned and bagged, though he did get her name (by reading her name tag).

Well, the next week he again went to the grocery store and saw the same cute cashier. This time he had a bit of a conversation with her (a true success) and walked out smiling. This went on for a few weeks and he eventually (and very nervously) asked her out and she said yes!

They go on a number of dates and eventually they get engaged. They have a wonderful marriage ceremony and eventually hop in a car for their honeymoon.

Now along the way they come up behind this semi-truck carrying not one, not two, but three tractors! The man is super excited and gets way to close to the large semi. All the sudden the semi-truck goes over a large bump and tractors come loose! The man swerves hard and dodges the first one! Then he dodges the second one! But they slam into the third tractor!

As he wakes up he looks over to his newly wedded wife covered in blood while she opens her eyes and looks at him. She says in a feeble voice "don't blame the tractors" and dies.

The man, overcome with his grief goes into a deep depression and doesn't come out of his home for a few weeks. Eventually he comes to and tears out every tractor related thing his house and burns it in a large fire. He realizes that he should probably start living again as that was what his wife would have wanted.

So he gets his life back in order though never again even thinking about tractors. But he does have to go to the grocery store, and while he was there he noticed that the cashier looked pretty cute. After a few weeks he asks her out on a date and she says yes!

So for their first date he decides to take her to a fancy jazz bar. They get to the place and it is super smoky as it isn't a smoking free bar. After a couple of minutes of good conversation she starts coughing profusely and can barely stop. So the man gets up, takes an incredibly huge breathe and sucks up all the smoke, walks up to a window, opens it up, and blows out all the smoke.

In awe, his date asks how he did it.

He responds "Well, you see, I'm an ex-tractor fan"

[keithh]

Man who walks in front of tractor gets tired, man who walks behind tractor gets exhausted.

[Woolly Mammoth]

An Ipswich Town Supporter ?

[Steven Ageroad]

Oh dear.

[bobbo]

lockdown is seriously getting to a few

[Woolly Mammoth]

He wanted to be a Stand Up Comedian, but he couldn't stand up.

[Cambridge Pete]

That's a minute of my life wasted

[blingo]

You Lucky People

[RufusBrevettatemyhamster]

Took your minds off all that is happening, so I did my jon.

[Holders]

This is a fascinating story - what the hell is a "semi-truck"?

[Woolly Mammoth]

This is a fascinating story - what the hell is a "semi-truck"?

I assume it is similar to a Semicolon or a Semi Final or Semi Skinned.

[keithh]

I thought it had something to do with the name that refers to the language family currently present in West Asia, North and East Africa, and Malta.

[bobbo]

This is a fascinating story - what the hell is a "semi-truck"?

I assume it is similar to a Semicolon or a Semi Final or Semi Skinned.

😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂

[Holders]

I'll have no truck with antisemitruckism.

[cottage expat]

This is a fascinating story - what the hell is a "semi-truck"?

Translation: A semi-articulated lorry.

[Holders]

This is a fascinating story - what the hell is a "semi-truck"?

Translation: A semi-articulated lorry.

One that bends, but only a bit?? It gets even stranger.

[Woolly Mammoth]

A middle aged bachelor has an obsession with tractors.

His entire house is decorated with them. He has tractor wallpaper, tractor memorabilia, many many model tractors, pictures of tractors, tractor bed sheets, even his car looks like a tractor (not a real tractor due to legal reasons).

As it is, his obsession with tractors had left him awkward, socially inept, and sadly lonely.

One day, as he went to the store to get his weeks groceries he noticed that the cashier was very cute and she kept throwing him glances. But being the socially awkward person that he was, he didn't do anything about it and nervously had his items scanned and bagged, though he did get her name (by reading her name tag).

Well, the next week he again went to the grocery store and saw the same cute cashier. This time he had a bit of a conversation with her (a true success) and walked out smiling. This went on for a few weeks and he eventually (and very nervously) asked her out and she said yes!

They go on a number of dates and eventually they get engaged. They have a wonderful marriage ceremony and eventually hop in a car for their honeymoon.

Now along the way they come up behind this semi-truck carrying not one, not two, but three tractors! The man is super excited and gets way to close to the large semi. All the sudden the semi-truck goes over a large bump and tractors come loose! The man swerves hard and dodges the first one! Then he dodges the second one! But they slam into the third tractor!

As he wakes up he looks over to his newly wedded wife covered in blood while she opens her eyes and looks at him. She says in a feeble voice "don't blame the tractors" and dies.

The man, overcome with his grief goes into a deep depression and doesn't come out of his home for a few weeks. Eventually he comes to and tears out every tractor related thing his house and burns it in a large fire. He realizes that he should probably start living again as that was what his wife would have wanted.

So he gets his life back in order though never again even thinking about tractors. But he does have to go to the grocery store, and while he was there he noticed that the cashier looked pretty cute. After a few weeks he asks her out on a date and she says yes!

So for their first date he decides to take her to a fancy jazz bar. They get to the place and it is super smoky as it isn't a smoking free bar. After a couple of minutes of good conversation she starts coughing profusely and can barely stop. So the man gets up, takes an incredibly huge breathe and sucks up all the smoke, walks up to a window, opens it up, and blows out all the smoke.

In awe, his date asks how he did it.

He responds "Well, you see, I'm an ex-tractor fan"

May I suggest you send this to the NHS, they will be delighted to have an alternative to sleeping tablets, a cure for insomniacs. One read of this will send anyone to sleep. 😁😁😁😁💤💤💤💤💤💤

[Holders]

A middle aged bachelor has an obsession with tractors.

His entire house is decorated with them. He has tractor wallpaper, tractor memorabilia, many many model tractors, pictures of tractors, tractor bed sheets, even his car looks like a tractor (not a real tractor due to legal reasons).

As it is, his obsession with tractors had left him awkward, socially inept, and sadly lonely.

One day, as he went to the store to get his weeks groceries he noticed that the cashier was very cute and she kept throwing him glances. But being the socially awkward person that he was, he didn't do anything about it and nervously had his items scanned and bagged, though he did get her name (by reading her name tag).

Well, the next week he again went to the grocery store and saw the same cute cashier. This time he had a bit of a conversation with her (a true success) and walked out smiling. This went on for a few weeks and he eventually (and very nervously) asked her out and she said yes!

They go on a number of dates and eventually they get engaged. They have a wonderful marriage ceremony and eventually hop in a car for their honeymoon.

Now along the way they come up behind this semi-truck carrying not one, not two, but three tractors! The man is super excited and gets way to close to the large semi. All the sudden the semi-truck goes over a large bump and tractors come loose! The man swerves hard and dodges the first one! Then he dodges the second one! But they slam into the third tractor!

As he wakes up he looks over to his newly wedded wife covered in blood while she opens her eyes and looks at him. She says in a feeble voice "don't blame the tractors" and dies.

The man, overcome with his grief goes into a deep depression and doesn't come out of his home for a few weeks. Eventually he comes to and tears out every tractor related thing his house and burns it in a large fire. He realizes that he should probably start living again as that was what his wife would have wanted.

So he gets his life back in order though never again even thinking about tractors. But he does have to go to the grocery store, and while he was there he noticed that the cashier looked pretty cute. After a few weeks he asks her out on a date and she says yes!

So for their first date he decides to take her to a fancy jazz bar. They get to the place and it is super smoky as it isn't a smoking free bar. After a couple of minutes of good conversation she starts coughing profusely and can barely stop. So the man gets up, takes an incredibly huge breathe and sucks up all the smoke, walks up to a window, opens it up, and blows out all the smoke.

In awe, his date asks how he did it.

He responds "Well, you see, I'm an ex-tractor fan"

May I suggest you send this to the NHS, they will be delighted to have an alternative to sleeping tablets, a cure for insomniacs. One read of this will send anyone to sleep. 😁😁😁😁💤💤💤💤💤💤

They don't need any more patients at the moment, though.

[keithh]

I think some of the readers do.

[keithh]

A priest, an imam and a rabbit go to donate blood. The rabbit says: "I think I'm a Type O".