When was the last time you did a number two at the facilities in the Hammy end?

[The Rock]

No and hope to never have to.

Is a matter of fact, I don't think I've ever seen a number two first hand back there, not that I was looking for one! Has anyone even witnessed a deuce?

[Mitch]

Not quite the same, but I had one in the Lion this season. I've never done it so quickly.

[The Rock]

I had one in the Lion too, about 5 years ago. Thank god it was pre-game.

So has anyone ever even witnessed a deuce in the hammy end facilities?

[Mitch]

Pre-game too. Thought I was going to die if i didn't.

[NorthernWhite]

Not quite the same, but I had one in the Lion this season. I've never done it so quickly.

There's a definition of conundrum for you, would you rather have an Eartha in the Lion or CC?

Tough one that to be honest and I've been desparate in my 40+ years but never sure I've been that close....

[Oiseau]

I rate away grounds highly on the quality of their ladies' toilets - the quality of the mirrors, lights, sinks, facilities... The whole nine yards. I know it sounds ridiculous but they say a lot about a stadium.

Sadly, the ladies loos at the Cottage are probably some of the worst I've ever visited. Stamford Bridge is probably the worst (awwwful) followed by Old Trafford (because there were so few!) and White Hart Lane (who need to sort their plumbing out...) Goodison Park was pretty crummy, too. The best were probably at the Emirates and the Stadium of Light. At the Emirates there are toooons of cubicles (in club colours, funnily enough), many mirrors of varying shapes and sizes (this is important) and great hot/cold water.

I've visited both the Hammy End and the Johnny Haynes stand but only once. The JH isn't awful (similar quality to Goodison) but there are just VERY FEW of them (singles!) I'm guessing that this is unavoidable because of the listing/age of the Stand. The ladies in the Hammy End is fairly grim. Teeny cubicles, I think only two of them for all of the women in that stand... Avoid if possible. Can't say anything about the gents!

[Mitch]

In the San Siro they just have squats for the ladies. Went with my ex and I've never laughed so hard after she came out.

[Steven Ageroad]

Many years ago in one of the loo's in the centre of the JH stand, I and many others as we went in for a pee, witnessed a poor chap sitting on the loo, trousers round his ankles trying to have a "Tom". The reason being , there was no door on the cubicle!
Glad to see that Al Fayed has now put a door on since he's been here. It's not changed much other than that.

[sipwell]

I rate away grounds highly on the quality of their ladies' toilets - the quality of the mirrors, lights, sinks, facilities... The whole nine yards. I know it sounds ridiculous but they say a lot about a stadium.

Sadly, the ladies loos at the Cottage are probably some of the worst I've ever visited. Stamford Bridge is probably the worst (awwwful) followed by Old Trafford (because there were so few!) and White Hart Lane (who need to sort their plumbing out...) Goodison Park was pretty crummy, too. The best were probably at the Emirates and the Stadium of Light. At the Emirates there are toooons of cubicles (in club colours, funnily enough), many mirrors of varying shapes and sizes (this is important) and great hot/cold water.

I've visited both the Hammy End and the Johnny Haynes stand but only once. The JH isn't awful (similar quality to Goodison) but there are just VERY FEW of them (singles!) I'm guessing that this is unavoidable because of the listing/age of the Stand. The ladies in the Hammy End is fairly grim. Teeny cubicles, I think only two of them for all of the women in that stand... Avoid if possible. Can't say anything about the gents!

Sounds like an academic survey you've been undertaking!

[Scrumpy]

I rate away grounds highly on the quality of their ladies' toilets - the quality of the mirrors, lights, sinks, facilities... The whole nine yards. I know it sounds ridiculous but they say a lot about a stadium.

Sadly, the ladies loos at the Cottage are probably some of the worst I've ever visited. Stamford Bridge is probably the worst (awwwful) followed by Old Trafford (because there were so few!) and White Hart Lane (who need to sort their plumbing out...) Goodison Park was pretty crummy, too. The best were probably at the Emirates and the Stadium of Light. At the Emirates there are toooons of cubicles (in club colours, funnily enough), many mirrors of varying shapes and sizes (this is important) and great hot/cold water.

I've visited both the Hammy End and the Johnny Haynes stand but only once. The JH isn't awful (similar quality to Goodison) but there are just VERY FEW of them (singles!) I'm guessing that this is unavoidable because of the listing/age of the Stand. The ladies in the Hammy End is fairly grim. Teeny cubicles, I think only two of them for all of the women in that stand... Avoid if possible. Can't say anything about the gents!

I didn't know we had an expert amongst us! My wife does a similar thing, but factors in the alcohol that is available at any specific stadium before giving it her thumbs up (or down). Any ground that sells white wine is immediately elevated up her league. She tells me that St Marys (Southampton) is top of her list. The loos looked fantastic after 3 mini bottles of wine, but she has yet to go back there sobre.

[JimmyDunnesBum]

I had one - not in the benghazi , though - when Dempsey missed that penalty against Chelsea last season ,

[Berserker]

I rate away grounds highly on the quality of their ladies' toilets - the quality of the mirrors, lights, sinks, facilities... The whole nine yards. I know it sounds ridiculous but they say a lot about a stadium.

Sadly, the ladies loos at the Cottage are probably some of the worst I've ever visited. Stamford Bridge is probably the worst (awwwful) followed by Old Trafford (because there were so few!) and White Hart Lane (who need to sort their plumbing out...) Goodison Park was pretty crummy, too. The best were probably at the Emirates and the Stadium of Light. At the Emirates there are toooons of cubicles (in club colours, funnily enough), many mirrors of varying shapes and sizes (this is important) and great hot/cold water.

I've visited both the Hammy End and the Johnny Haynes stand but only once. The JH isn't awful (similar quality to Goodison) but there are just VERY FEW of them (singles!) I'm guessing that this is unavoidable because of the listing/age of the Stand. The ladies in the Hammy End is fairly grim. Teeny cubicles, I think only two of them for all of the women in that stand... Avoid if possible. Can't say anything about the gents!

Sounds like an academic survey you've been undertaking!

Putney end ladies under the P1 & P2 stand are good, but the queueing system is rubbish as it's in the tunnel to the Riverside stand. That's why I have end of row seat (P2 last season now P1) so I can nip out for a wee while the match is on and not have to queue.  :54:

[finnster01]

I see this thread as getting as much response as the Finnster Classic: "Do you pee sitting down?"

Mr Hatter, don't underestimate the value of investigating the habitat and behaviour of Fulham fans when it comes to bowel movements and deposits of such.

We are now on page three and the thread is literally catching a bit of a second wind.

When it comes to acceptable facilities, I think the Reebok isn't too shabby either. But fully agree with Mr Northern White that the choice of a number 2 between the Golden Lion and the Hammersmith End is an incredibly difficult choice. Possibly a life changing moment.

[sipwell]

Possibly a life changing moment. [/size]

What if you do not survive visiting one of the two facilities? Does that still count as "life changing"?

[TheDaddy]

Yes i've died in the bogs of the Hammersmith end .Do get very upset when whilst taking the strain and reading thro the match programme some bounder bangs on the door and shouts "HURRY UP" to which i reply "Sorry son cant help its a nnnnnuuuurrrrrppppphhhhh and going to take a good while to shift" Mind you i've also done a few Usain Bolts !

[Berserker]

Try fruit scones, especially Marks and Spencers, god knows what they put in them

[TheDaddy]

Try fruit scones, especially Marks and Spencers, god knows what they put in them

Now you've opened a can of worms here do you say scones or scones ? my lovely lady goes into one if its scones !