One Liners To Lift The Next Manager Gloom.

[Andy S]

I went to a Cliff Richard consert last week and cliff was on stage wearing only a tiny pair of underpants . Then he started singing Congratulations. I'm told he won the Eurovision Thong contest with that.

 

[Woodlawn]

Santa comes down the chimney and finds a naked woman, looking down at his erection, he says" Ho HO HAY i'm never going to get up the chimney this way"

[New Kid on the Block]

Last year, I went on one of those 'once in a lifetime' holidays. I'll tell you what, never again.

A man was steering his yacht with his tummy - absailing.

(With apologies to Tim Vine)

And my favourite ever joke - I never wear a condom when having sex, as I hate the smell of burning rubber.

[Dr Know]

Whats the definition of a clunt ?  Someone running out of a chinese restaurant without paying !

[BigbadBillyMcKinley]

Last year, I went on one of those 'once in a lifetime' holidays. I'll tell you what, never again.

A man was steering his yacht with his tummy - absailing.

(With apologies to Tim Vine)

And my favourite ever joke - I never wear a condom when having sex, as I hate the smell of burning rubber.

A bit of captain flashheart form blackadder never goes amiss.

Sent from my SM-A500FU using Tapatalk

[OdecaMynoT]

This one could apply to the collective management;

Confucius say 'Man who go to bed with hard problem wake up with solution'.

[Barrett487]

Did you hear about the hyena who ate an oxo cube..... he became a laughing stock.

[Barrett487]

They don't sell Lucozade in Boots anymore..... it leaks out of the lace-holes.

[jarv]

When god was creating man, he was half way through and had loads of body parts left. Poblem was there were no brains, hearts or vocal chords left so he said to his assistant stitch 'em up anyway and slap a smile on their faces. They can talk out of their arse, lo and behold, he created the Tory party.  (taken from a film, can't remember the name of it).

[Woodlawn]

when I went for my army medical the doctor said   Sorry your too short, I replied "well they were there when I came in"

[Dr Know]

When did michael jackson know it was time for bed ?  When the big hand touched the little hand !

[jarv]

Stationery store......moved.


Sorry, I wanted this back to page 1 to memorise a for my darts match tonight.