NFR things that don't work!

[VicHalomsLovechild]

To lift the gloom and dampen the inevitable arguments that spring up while our transfer business gets going. I thought I'd ask (apart from buying players early) what else doesn't work in your life?
Mine is bacon packets. The ones with the little tab you pull back so you can get at your rashers. They never work! I just end up with a spec of clear plastic on the end of my thumb.

[SuffolkWhite]

For me it has to be getting your teenagers to tidy up after themselves!  079.gif more likely to see this.

[S.F.Sorrow]

Tiny smartphone "keyboards".

[VicHalomsLovechild]

Tiny smartphone "keyboards".

And when you swipe it goes the other way!

[Lighthouse]

Modern life.

[Jimpav]

Predatory tortoise  preloved texture Premium bonds.. PREDICTIVE TEXT!

[Lighthouse]

Instructions on packaging. So small you need a magnifying glass to see them. Only the magnifying glass is still in its packet because you need scissors to open the packet. But the scissors is still its packaging until you find a suitable cutting implement.

[Woolly Mammoth]

I normally use a Flame Thrower 🔥 when I want to open up a packaging. I can guarantee it works every time.

[King_Crud]

me, I don't work. I have a job but very little to do and what little I have to do I'm not interested in doing

[Andy S]

Instructions: invariably they are for five or six different products and in god knows how many different languages. Then they tell you to read them from beginning to end before trying to assemble your product when you haven't got a clue about what b6 or f7 is. Arrrh

[MJG]

To lift the gloom and dampen the inevitable arguments that spring up while our transfer business gets going. I thought I'd ask (apart from buying players early) what else doesn't work in your life?
Mine is bacon packets. The ones with the little tab you pull back so you can get at your rashers. They never work! I just end up with a spec of clear plastic on the end of my thumb.

Holes into walls to hang pictures or shelves or anything like that. No matter what i do or try I always make a pigs ear of it.

[Fulhamfan666]

Tiny smartphone "keyboards".

or when it starts raining and your screen gets wet so you have to wipe it before it works again but because it's still raining it doesn't work and then you die.

[David I]

me, I don't work. I have a job but very little to do and what little I have to do I'm not interested in doing

Working in the Fulham recruitment team per chance?😂😆😉

[f321ffc]

Brexit  093.gif

[cmg]

Tiny smartphone "keyboards".

or when it starts raining and your screen gets wet so you have to wipe it before it works again but because it's still raining it doesn't work and then you die.

Reminds me of the automatic ticket machines installed by our wonderful train operating companies outside the station so you can't read the touch screen if it's sunny, if it's raining the touch screen won't work. OK if it snows, but then the trains won't work.

[filham]

As already said modern packaging is an absolute nightmare. Make no mistake it is not designed for the convenience of the end user but for the transporter and retailer.

[ron]

Instructions: invariably they are for five or six different products and in god knows how many different languages. Then they tell you to read them from beginning to end before trying to assemble your product when you haven't got a clue about what b6 or f7 is. Arrrh

How true this one is!  Assembly instructions normally have illustrations of the tricky bits printed so small as to be beyond the capabilities of the human eye.....and what about operating instructions for equipment in car owners' manuals? 4 types of audio equipment carefully explained....but not the one for your particular model.....

[epsomraver]

Instructions on packaging. So small you need a magnifying glass to see them. Only the magnifying glass is still in its packet because you need scissors to open the packet. But the scissors is still its packaging until you find a suitable cutting implement.

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[rogerpbackinMidEastUS]

1:30pm - Tuesday

"Good afternoon, welcome to *****"
"If you would like billing, please say billing"
"BILLING"
"I'm sorry I don't understand you"
(under my breath) "Coz you're in Malaysia"
"Press 9 to return to the main menu"
"If you would like Billing say Billiing or press 3"
"Hello, this is Ann in Billing"
"Hi, I'm trying to find out why my bill was so expensive this month"
"I'm sorry you're through to the wrong department, I'll transfer you to Accounts"
"Please hold the line we are transferring you to Accounts"
"Your business is extremely important to us, please stay on the line, you are caller number 47, estimated
wait time is 43 minutes"
39 minutes later "CLICK"

"Hello, welcome to ****** your call will be answered by one of our representatives shortly,
your business is extremely importance, please stay on the line, you are caller number zzzzzzzzz
"Hello, this is Harry in IT, how can I help you"
"Actually I wanted Accounts"
"No problem, I'll transfer you"
"WAIT................"

"Hello, this is Shahid in Montana"
"I wanted Billing"
"That's right, this is our Billings, Montana office .
"Grrrrrrrrrrrr you tosser"
"No need to get upset sir"

CLICK

4:00pm - Tuesday
"Hello, welcome to ******, our offices are currently closed. Our offices are open 24 hours 365 days a year,
but are closed on Memorial Day, Veterans Day, Independence Day, Xmas Day, Thanksgiving, and the Day after,
You can try us on the 1st January, but it's pot luck if anyone shows up for work,
For the first time ever, this year we will be open for 27 hours on Black Friday.
Have you tried our latest product..............
Currently our staff are all on an  internal video-conference call which will end at approximately.......CLICK

"Hello, welcome to ******* Customer Service, Nigel speaking"
"Hi Nigel, thnk goodness, at last I'm speaking to a live human being"
"Hello, welcome to ******* Customer Service, Nigel speaking"

[ron]

Brexit  093.gif

The way things are going reminds me of that old Joe Dolan lyric;

"Take me and break me and make me an island I'm yours....."