If you could do anything you wanted to a Prem player...

[finnster01]

what would that be?

My number 1 would be shaving Fellaini's head.

What do the rest of the board fancy?

[Lighthouse]

Well you know that bit in Resevoir Dogs where the Police chap is in the chair. 'Stuck in the middle with you' playing on the radio. Well a certain ex captain of England in the chair would be....hold on legal problems. Never named him so its still All Gold.

[cebu]

Lock up Joey Barton, lose key.

[CorkCity]

Get Wayne Rooney to sign for Fulham.

[TheDaddy]

Kick Harry Rednapp in the bollocks
1. Seems to mention  players who Roys interested in far to often ! result them going to turds.
2.Like to see if a swift one to the nut sack may iron out the wrinkly Barstard that or readjust his wonky eye.

NUDGE NUDGE WINK WINK the dodgy tommy tucker !  :-X

[Jimpav]

I would like to have a beer with Dempsey
I would like to scratch Abonghalors car
I would like to sign up Drogba

[blingo]

id like to tie the Burnley keeper to the goalpost tonight.

[littlepowell]

id like to tie the Burnley keeper to the goalpost tonight.

That may not help if no one gets a shot on goal.

[finnster01]

id like to tie the Burnley keeper to the goalpost tonight.

That may not help if no one gets a shot on goal.

Or if Bobby Z is back

[LRCN]

Kick Harry Rednapp in the bollocks

I would love to twonk redknapp in the bollocks.

[Brede Butter Pudding]

Do a John Terry on Ashley Cole - who wouldn't?

[ron]

I would sprinkle the elixir of youth over Brian McBride

....Beat that for an idea !

[SteveM19]

Punch John Terry in the face, and kick him in the balls, and I have felt that way about the man (and I use that term loosely) since he drunkenly hassled some Americans in the immediate aftermath of 11 September. I don't care how talented he is on the pitch, your nation is worse off for having him.

[Brede Butter Pudding]

I can't believe noone has agreed with me - who wouldn't do a cheeky John Terry on Ashley Cole? A bit of Cheryl would go down a treat!